Party for DD2... When where what with who?! Help please!!

[missworld2010]

Ah I'm having a party dilemma too...

DD2 (ASD) will be 4 in June, and if I asked who she wants to her birthday party she wouldn't get that, wouldn't really understand or know who her friends are. So I don't know whether to have a party for her or not... But she loves parties! Haven't done one for her before really, just couple friends or family at home, whereas have done big ones for DD1 who is going to be 6 in May.

So this year I'm struggling to know what to do. options are either have a joint one for both my girls, or a good friend who has girl same age as DD2 has said we could join her DDs party, but she's doing hers with another boy from the same nursery - plus point is there would be more children of Sasha's age at that one, and kids she'd recognise from nursery (as opposed to just a few siblings of DD1's friends), but it'd be a month after her birthday and I'm not sure that's close enough to mean anything, bit like an afterthought.

What do all you lovely ladies think?!

i think a joint one sounds a great idea with a clown or entertainer to keep them occupied for most of it , i was saying on another thread we stopped having parties for DS(still feel guilty) as his siblings had many friends and DS didnt , DS assumes their his friends too so we used to have joint birthday as all 3 being within a week of each other cant now as older DC are 14 & 15 so now we go as a family with poss 1 friend from class (i have to pick someone as DS doesnt think anyones his friend) to somewhere like snowzone tubbing or sledgeing and then to mcdonalds (yay one meal he likes as long as burger has no sauce or pickles)but i think while our DC are still so young a party with a friends DC is a very good idea my DS at that age had no idea when his birthday was so a month late wouldnt have bothered him , it would have me so what id do is have family over on the day a cake and a few pressies and a month later the party and yay DD will be well pleased to have two birthdays lol

From our experience I don't think a clown or entertainer is the best option, it takes too much concentration, needs kids to sit fairly still and is too intangible iyswim. I did lots of parties for DS when he was younger and we used to hire a local softplay area which we could have totally to ourselves and invite everyone we knew. Lots of my friends with kids with ASD loved it as we all had a good time and we could relax. I think something physical is much better but that may not be the case for you.

yr right davros he did fidget but he loved it we did same thing few yrs running (diff entertainers) he was mesmarised by the entertainser tho as when watching a DVD he loves, as he did magic and had a puppy puppet and threw custard pies at himslf lol ive done the softplay option in my DS's case that was a disaster not because its not great fun but the staff were useless and disapeared leaving me and DH to watch all the kiddies and thats a nightmare couldnt relax at all so i guess depends on what the company's like and if other parents will stay, we used whats now called 360 play(activity land) and gambadoes they were both awful maybe yrs a good tho

Oh, we didn't have staff to help us! We set up and they left us to it. If he likes DVDs and watching stuff then maybe an entertainer is a good idea, my DS would NEVER have sat through it!

our ones were supposed to give you two members of staff and didnt they served the food and ran lol cant say i blame em really