10yo poss ASD and behaviour getting worse

[nicky157]

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet but I'm at my wits end with my 10 yo DD.

A bit of a background, she was diagnosed with learning difficulties at 3 and although no formal diagnosis has been made she is being treated as being on the autisitic spectrum.

Up until about a year ago she was a timid but since then she's progreeively got more aggressive and defiant, firstly at home and now at school.

I've had a telephone call from her teacher saying she is bullying other children, in particular another SN child that lives a few doors away and is being uncooperative with members of staff in her support groups.

How can I improve her behaviour but without the time to spend one and one with her as 2 other DC to consider.

Hi nicky, im new too, DS 17 ASD and use to be very aggresive but was just classed as a badly behaved child until i got a formal diagnosis, i would advise you to push for a formal diagnosis so you know exactly what you are dealing with so help can be put in place.

Once you have a formal diagnosis its much easier to access the help that you need from school and LA etc. good luck.

Hi im new too my 10yo DS is ASD and i agree with bitter and my DS has only now just been diagnosed as spent years being treated as if was my fault or DS he was behaving badly and even differently and even up until a few months back was being punihed for behaviours that are typical ASD , he was being bullied and being kept in permanently from playtimes and as they were ignoring it and as the demands for better behaviour get more and more as they get older the expectations become impossible , so obviously they get more stressed more unable to cope and angry/agressive its well worth going through with dx as like bitter says you then can get help and support, good luck

hi Nicky, I'd suggest you go to your gp and get her referred to your local CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services) We referred our 10yo in June and got his diagnosis of ASD yesterday (which was obvious, but had to be diagnosed with all the psychiatric assessments to be done properly). I gather that we've got through it quickly. Ironically both DH and I run autism specialist services and have done for most of our working lives, which helps. Sometimes. And at other times you just feel like a crap parent. But believe me, it's nothing to do with parenting skills or attention, it's the whole parcel of stuff that leads to getting your child's needs met, by school, support services and everyone who needs to be talking the same language, iyswim.
hang in there, and good luck.

Hi I am new tooooo :)

I would look into it further like Mrs Shrek said with CAMHS and once diagnosis in place then you can insist on the correct help for you dd being put into place and HOPEFULLY they will have more understaning behaviour themselves.

Your dd is 10? it could also be the adolesent side rearing its head too bless her and that is hard enough for anychild without any other issues to contend with.

Good luck and keep smiling :)

hi nicky,you really need to get a definate diagnosis,things won't get any better until you get proper support,for dd and yourself,it has taken 5yrs to get our ds a dx but last week it finally happened and school will have to take responsibility for your dds needs,don't let anyone tell you that you don't need a dx,the earlier you get it the better,good luck.

baileyandtwinks,you are discribing what my ds has gone through,its disgusting the way these children are treated,there is such ignorance related to asd etc ,it breaks my heart everytime i hear these stories.

Thanks, sorry I didn't get back to this last night.

Thank you for the advice I know he DX is the way to go forward but the paeditricians I've seen before have been rather useless. My fault for not being able to drive her to activities that would help her develop, so have been reluctant to seek further advice. I'll attend my gp wihtout E initially to see if they can send me in the direction with CAHMS.

As regards puberty, I have considered the possibility and when the talk comes in the next couple of months the school nurse will help me explain it further to her. I know that will be a lot for her to take in. Another milestone to get through and deal with.

Also after speaking with the school we are working on an action plan to help her before next years transition to high school.