teen siblings HELP

[baileyandtinks]

i do understand ive a dd 14 and ds 15 and a ds whos ASD 10 ... but my problem is having two teens who like all teens can be lazy , stroppy, hard going but are loving good kids really and how they react to my DS who has ASD and is 10 they just dont apear to try at all or have any empathy for him what so ever its driving me crazy having to explain (which i know i shouldnt need to) my actions to them concerning DS with ASD, its making the home like a battleground and to top it all DS with ASD is going through a lot of tantrums/meltdowns right now as they do so things are hard enough already

I can empathize i have 6 children of varying ages and two of which have disabilities, one has quad CP and one who has ASD, GDD and hypermobility.

Getting the children without disabilities to understand that i occassionally have to make allowances for my other son or daughters behaviour can be v difficult at times. My 12 year old daughter will even go in a huff with me sometimes if i ask her to pass her disabled sisters cup for me. Bearing in mind her sister can't actually sit,stand or walk ! and it drives me potty sometimes and i find myself saying 'for gods sake can you not at least try to understand that your sister can't do the things you can, or that your brother doesn't understand things like you do' !

I think thats most teenagers though, inherantly selfish and lazy a lot of the time. I think when they grow out of it...at around 25 ! lol they may actually realise.

That said i try very hard to make sure that they know and feel they are special to me too and that just because it seems i give more to their siblings that i love them just the same. I save up so i can give one of them an extra treat now and again or will make the effort to sit and watch a movie and chat about their mates with them while munching a load of their haribo

I haven't any advice or anything to really offer other than to say that i find it very tricky at times too and you're not alone

aww ty its just nice to hear its not just my dc or anything im doing wrong , i do spend time chatting and asking about their day , homework, boyfriend/girlfriend ect its just as were going through the statemnting process now and DS is at home not in school it seems to have got worse its kind of all consuming and DH says its all i talk about, just had some good news today they are letting DS go to the SS of my choice whilst the statement goes through so what with that and your answer im feeling a bit better ty

No we have that here too, 2 older Dd's 22 and 15 make no allowances for Dd3 at all, even though I have told them time and time again that all she needs is a bit of understanding.

Dd2 actually goes out of her way to break rules or upset the routine to send Dd3 into a tizzy, it drives me bonkers and causes loads of rows.

Glad to hear about the school

Good news about the school and glad you're feeling a little better about things.

Haha i get accused of talking to much about all the appointments i have with the kids and things i have going on with them....i have seen peoples eyes glaze over

Ah well i don't get out much.

Hope the statementing process goes ok, take care x

ty violet5 got the first draf needs a bit de coding pp will help me go through it but had a call from our caseworker said the panel decided he can go to the SS i asked about while statement goes through glad but still worried IYSWIM, dont want DS doing brilliantly and loving it then they say sorry back to mainstream

Sorry baileyandtinks, had no internet for a little while.

If your son gets settled and is enjoying the school he goes to then i'd really hope they wouldn't place him elsewhere after statementing.I think you'd have a very good case to make an appeal if they did suggest that.

Fingers crossed for you