What does "in care" actually mean?

[Jodie27]

Hi, can anyone actually explain what being "in care" actually means? My child is severly autistic and, although I get respite care, this is no longer enough. He does get violent and he's physically stronger than me. I'm frighted for his safety and the safety of my other children.

When I last spoke with Social Serices they said "so you want to put him into care?" The very word brings up images of Dickens-time workhouses and neglected children. I know that's the emotional response and that's not the reality today.

That said, I don't actually know what "being in care" entails - for example, will I still be able to see him?

I would be very grateful for any information anyone has on this, especially if they've been in the same situation.

Thank you

Jodie

hi i didnt like to see you here worrying and upset i dont know about going into care and what it entails certainly i would hope it would be different for a child with SN, ive heard of SS being like this with parents b4 i think its to make you feel guilty mainly so as in the hope you dont do it IYSWIM as that would basically cost a lot of money but someone will come along shortly who prob does know.

hi Jodie, what age is your child? ss are being a bit harsh as you obviously do the best for your child, i too have severly autistic ds 10 today. he is nearly same size as me and i worry before long how i will actually cope. you have my sympathies. Has been mentioned to me before that if i could no longer manage would maybe be possible for ds to go to residential school where he stays through week n you could get him home at weekend. I have 23yr old cousin who has austim too, he went to stay with a couple when my aunt couldnt cope. they got him home at weekend and he goes on holiday with them etc. due to his age it is good in end up for all of them because he felt too old to stay with mum n dad but obviously couldnt stay on his own. if your son was in care im sure you would still get to see him when you want, as it may be best option for all of you and to consider that your other children need you to. hope you manage to speak to a more understanding and sympathetic social worker who can perhaps tell you what this entails and if there are other options available. how much respite do you get? would it not be possible for extra respite? Good luck and im thinking of you, hope you get things sorted soon.

Hi,

Please try not to worry too much. This must be a really hard time for you, huge decisions to make.

Being 'in care' can mean lots of things. Like |Shazian said, there are residential schools specifically designed to meet the needs of autistic children. Alternatively a specialist foster carer may also be an option, where your son would live in a family environment and where you would have contact with him which worked for you and him ( that would all be talked about and discussed before a decision was made).

It may well be a good option for all of you in terms of keeping everyone safe and maintaining good relationships between you all.

Hugs

xx

it depends on what they mean by 'in care', I believe they are supposed to refer to a 'looked after child' now, not that there's any difference! I remember a while back someone posted that as their dcs nights at repite had increased above a certain number they officially became a LAC although the dc still lived at home. You have the foster family set up and then residential schools which can be 38 or 52 week placements.

Certainly as far as residential school goes you still retain full parental responsibility, you just have to add lac reviews onto education reviews to make sure your dc is in the right placement and there is more social service involvement. I've not come across any restictions on visiting in this kind of set up. If you were thinking of residential school you would need the backing of social services and the education department as it's often but not always joint funded. It's also incredibly expensive for them to fund so might be a bit of a battle to get.

Being in care means that a child's day to day care is provided by the local authority, sometimes in a residential unit, specialist school or more often a foster home.

A foster home is a household like any other where the family look after children placed with them by the local authority. they may have specialist skills to meet differing children's needs.

The legal status of 'looked after children' will dictate how a parent would be involved.

children placed under 'sec 20' are in voluntary care and parents hold all rights and can take children back whenever they like. parents have to give consent for everything that happens to the child, haircuts and school trips for example.

other children will be placed on legal orders, 'care orders' or 'police protection orders' for example. this is when children are taken away from parents because the child is deemed to have suffered or likely to suffer 'significant harm'
In this senario the parents still have parental responsibility but the courts can also give consent for things.

Parents will always have PR unless it is taken away by the courts.

contact with parents is almost always encouraged and if parents and the LA can't agree the courts would set contact arrangements.

if a parent put their child in care due to circumstances such as yours it would be sec 20, voluntary arrangement and you would be involved in every aspect of his life.

there would be as much contact as you wanted providing your child could cope with it. contact would not be supervised and you could have him home for weekends and holidays. this is called 'shared care' and can work well.

Obviously this is a major descision and you need more information than advice on an internet forum.

Good Luck with whatever you decide.

My son is at a residential ASD school and some of the children there are regarded as 'in care' as the placement is part-funded by SS. My situation is slightly different as the LEA funds the full placement so there's no involvement with SS - I'm not quite sure what his official status is, but I'm able to take him home when I want and I have to sign all the forms to give permission for almost anything.

It's an excellent placement though and if SS are suggesting that it's what may be needed, it could be worth investigating residential ASD schools near your area. My son comes home every other weekend plus holidays, and the consistency in the placement and extra support outside of school hours has made a huge difference to him.

It's far from Dickensian, it's based in an old country house with lots of outside space, he has his own room with a lounge shared with four other students, with modern facilities, games consoles etc. They're taken out on trips to places like the cinema or bowling a few times a week and have group activities on site as well - all of these help with his social skills and he's also taught living skills like cooking and shopping.

Bigcar is right in that it's an expensive option though and I had to go to tribunal to get it. I'm not sure if SS said what they did to try and put you off and make you feel guilty, or if they genuinely might be willing to fund a placement.

Thank you all so much for your responses. My son is 13 and I do worry for him - I just don't see how he'll ever be able to live independently, and I fear for his (and his siblings) safety.

I suspect that my SS are trying to put me off as I've told them I find the words "in care" are very emotive.

I'm meeting them again next week and will try and be stong enough to insist they tell me precisely what they mean when the use that phrase.

BTW - I'm on my own, my ex just doesn't care, it's up to me to get things sorted.

Thanks again to all

Jodie

Just to add to sumums very comprehensive info.. looked after children don't all have their 'day to day care provided by the local authority'

Children who recieved family based short break care even tho it may only be one or two days/nights a month are also LAC.

Sorry should have said 'day to day care is usually' and not made a blanket statement.

Thanks for pointing that out signandsmile.

Mainstream fostering is my area so I am not familiar with all the short break rules.

Hope you manage to sort it all out jodie.

Thanks to all - I meet with the SW yesterday and again she sarted with the "in-care" so I pointed out we should be talking about LAC. That caught her by suprise. Next she wanted to go through his symptoms.... again. I stopped her and said we know the symptoms, we need to decide what to do for him and I felt residential care would be most appropriate.

Long story short, she'll set a meeting with her manager and admitted that there is a residential home about 7 miles from where I live.

Yes - a result. It's not a done deal, but I feel I've finally made some progress. Thanks to all of you for explaining, if it hadn't been for you i think the meeting would have been the usual bs.

Jodie

sounding positive