I can't believe how ds1 has been treated wwyd?

[frazzledazzle]

My ds1 has a dx of asd.

On the walk home from school on Thur he did something inapproprate on the way home from school and I told him off.One of his classmates overheard and said to his mum that my son was naughty and he was awful.

His mum said you can't call him that and he replied why not? The teacher called him awful.

My son's teacher has been struggling with his behaviour since the start of the new term.He won't do his work and is 'acting up'.She seems to think he is just being naughty because he knows his behaviour is 'wrong' but I think he is finding it hard to cope in the classroom.

The teacher has been off sick for the past week but the week before she told me she was really struggling to cope with his behaviour.

Last Thur I was due to pick him up after lunch for a clinic appt so obviously this unsettled him.Shortly before I arrived to pick him up,instead of doing his work he took his shoe off and started throwing it up in the air and banging it on the floor.His teacher got cross and threw his shoe into the corridor.Ds then said she stood on his other foot to stop him taking the other shoe off.All the class then got raffle tickets for ignoring this behaviour.This obviously upset my son further.

Shortly afterwards I went to pick him up.The school secretary went to get him for me and apparently his teacher told her in the earshot of the other children that my son was 'awful'

The classroom incident was relayed back to me by another parent and my son corrobarated the story.

I think the above is a totally unacceptable way to treat any child let alone an autistic one. I don't know what to do about this.

The day after this incident the senco told me that my ds is going to be reassessed again with regards to getting extra help for him.She didn't mention the previous days incident though.

Anyone any advice?

frazzled - poor ds.

That seems bang out of order. How old is your DS? Just out to pick someone up from the airport but will think about what I would do on the way! Didn't want you to feel ignored.

You need to arrange a meeting with the school including the head and the teacher involved and have this out with them. If they are not coping with your sons behaviour then they need help here and have to take steps to get that. It should not be your son that takes the outcome of the teachers inability to cope with him, and most certainly she needs to be aware of the prejudice she is instilling in the other children against him. If she doesn't realise this is wrong then she needs an official complaint putting in and to be dealt with at the highest level.

Does he have a statement and if so does what support does he have? If no statement then this needs to be looked at, and if he has one then an urgent review to get more 1:1 for him perhaps?

My son is 7 and has no support in the classroom.

His teacher from last year insisted all was well with him but I think when he started being a bit challenging she would stick him on a computer (I have no proof of this).That would have suited him but this year he's expected to toe the line and obviously he can't.

She's always telling the rest of the class to ignore him,this is going to affect him surely?

She also told him that if he carries on with his silliness he'll have to go to clown school and he often says but I don't want to go there.'Clown school' isn't a phrase I use so she must have got it from her.

Well the teacher clearly needs training and support.

But even if she does not know what to do she should not be venting her frustration in front of other children and certainly not in front of your son. This is unprofessional conduct and discrimination. Its bullying really. However it sounds as though the teacher is out of her depth / stressed - teachers do not get much training about how to teach a child with ASD and really I think LAs put too much on schools expecting them to be able to do so without proper training, supervision or support.

You should speak to Head but if you do not get anywhere eg promise of ASD training and support (lots of 1:1 and specialist ASD teachers coming in), then I would complain to the Governors that they are not meeting your child's SEN.

You can choose to share your child's dx with the other children at school - you could ask that this is dealt with eg by sharing books or stories about ASD and difference via social and emotional learning. This should be done in a positive way eg emphasise areas where your DS might be ahead or things good at eg computer and what he finds more difficult than other children. Young children have a great sense of fairness - if the other kids know why your child behaves badly sometimes they are unlikely to be very impressed by a teacher who is punishing him for something he cannot help. Its rather like shouting at a kid for their wheelchair being in the way. The NAS website has some info on how teachers may talk to other children about ASD.

If you are not taken seriously you may need to look for another school where ASD is understood. All schools should have had IDP autism resources (Dept of Ed website) whilst this is very basic autism awareness - its a start - you could ask the Head whether this teacher is familiar with IDP / been on a course. The Autism Education Trust have some courses coming up for creating an autism friendly classroom. You could point the school to these or something similar.

You also need to write all of this down so if you do need to make a formal complaint or apply for a statement of SEN you have it all recorded.

I am a teacher.

She clearly cannot cope with him. He cannot cope with her. She does sound a bit on the edge, tbh.

Sharing the dx with the children might be useful (whilst ds is out of the way)

I thought I knew all about ASD from my training. Then I had an ASD son. Now I know about ASD!

You need the outreach service in there.

I have to say most teachers are very careful about how they phrase things. It is not considered professional to say to a child 'you are awful'. You could say 'you are behaving in an awful way'. Children could easily misconstrue this

The next course of action is a meeting with the teacher and the Head to decide on an appropriate course of action.

And the other thing to do is to apply for a statement. You can do that today. Go to them ipsea website and get started. The teacher needs more help and she can't get that without a statement.

There should also be a LEA ASD team that can support the school. School need to get them in to help.

As well as arranging a meeting with the teacher, SENCO and HT on Mon also ring up parent partnership. They'll be able to tell you more about the ASD support the school have available to them and about applying for a statement.

The teachers behaviour is totally out of order. The HT is unlikely to admit this to you, because she needs to 'back up her staff' - but she may still sort it out in private....

CASADT? Is he under Educational Psychologist? It does seem that he is struggling and the teacher is not up to his behaviour.

This is not your son's problem it is for the school to ensure that his needs are met.

My son's 10 with ASD (bright boy....good vocal communication) but also has OCD/Tourettes dx now brought on my anxiety. The school is fantastic. They seek advice where needed, they support me in a way I didn't know schools do and, my son has 2 TA's who know him well and work with him to the best of his ability, at the moment. It won't make him better but, at least I'm not banging my head against the wall, with school.

Your son needs further assessment.

The teacher needs more patience/training.

Clown school? Jesus. That's horrible

I hope you manage to get this sorted out. the teacher sounds appalling.

Agree with meeting with the teacher and head and applying for a statement.

I was told by psychologist that often ASD children find it difficult to cope after KS1 - they become aware they are different, school expectations are different etc. I would keep written record of what has happened and records of any meetings etc - just in case you need to take it further or to use it to support your applicatio for statement.

Your poor boy - I hope you get it sorted out quickly.

Sounds so much like my son's Junior School. Among other things he was always getting told off for making silly noises (aka vocal tics). Teacher didn't seem to realise that the more she told him off the more he ticced so she was part of the problem.
Unfortunately there are teachers who just can't cope, and in some cases don't want to.

Do speak to the Head and SENCo. It may be that the Head is aware of this teacher's shortcomings, but as has been said she might not admit it to you.

ive very simular expieriences and when approached the school told basically he probably miss understod what he heard or didnt understand wht/why they did what they did , im disgusted i wasnt told my rights or about parent partnership till far to late and was refused a statement by the head of my sons first and middle school i didnt realise at the time i could ask for one myself i was then led to believe it was "up to them" now hes getting statemented aged 10,but hes been treated awfully by the school and his peers being bullied verbally and physically so please dont put up with any of it act now , my sons teachers obviously cant cope they stick him in the corridoor, as he even belleves hes just a bad person his self worth is so low and has tried self harm and running away my son in secondary school says a boy in his class says his younger siblings in the same class as HN and he is just the naughty boy ,

I'm normally of the 'speak to the teacher first' brigade to get their version of events. There have been some pretty strange tales come out of DS1s classroom, from his peers, that when DS1 has been questionned about (not relating to him I should hasten to add) he relays all the preceeding conversation and suddenly it all makes sense.

However, 'clown school' and 'awful' are definitely phrases that shouldn't be coming up, regarding a pupil whatever the context. And the giving out of raffle tickets so the other kids ignore his behaviour seems very , so I would go and talk to the SENCO again - if they have said that he needs reassessing they might be the most sympathetic and hopefully most practical in sorting it out. The head really should be notified but in my experience they do tend to stick by their teachers.

Stepping on his foot??????

She should have a written warning for that, let alone the other stuff.

I would be considering a written letter of complaint to the governors.

I'm so sorry that he has experienced this, I really hope you get somewhere with this.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Tomorrow I will speak to the senco and ask for a meeting with her and the head.

I just hope things are addressed properly and they don't try to say things have been misconstrued.

The thing is my son and the other child in the class both used the word awful when relaying the incident back and I remember when I picked him up for his appt ds kept saying,"she said awful".I just assumed she was upset because he had an appt in school time as ds couldn't give me any context.

Of course the Head will stand by the teacher when speaking to you, but in my experience sometimes the complaint from a parent is just the leverage a Head needs to take action. If no one complains then nothing will happen anyway.

Ask for a home/school diary.

My son has one which is completed at school and I then use it to communicate with his one to one assistants.

It's FOR ADULT USE ONLY. That way, I get to know exactly what's been happening, what's been said to whom etc and there's no "he said she said" going on.

It works well for us. Before that, I always used to get half a tale, told over a number of days and I wasn't really sure what was going on.

This situation cannot continue. Your son will not want to go to school and they have a duty to provide an environment conducive to his development and education. AS MUCH AS FOR ANY OTHER CHILD.

Ds really didn't want to go in this morning.He was ok once in the school grounds but all morning he was asking to stay at home.

I've been geared up for speaking to the head this morning but she's not in today so I left a message for the senco to call me but she teaches so may not get back to me today.

Frazzle it does sound like the teacher is really struggling with your DS - as I understand it teachers should never be negative about the child only the child's bevahiour but even so I would still be horrified if I heard a teacher referring to a child's behaviour as "awful" - such a negative word.

I hope the Head / SENCO are able to tackle this issue quickly