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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Activities outside of school - should I just admit defeat?

15 replies

LifeInTheSlowLane · 27/01/2011 10:39

I'm really keen to organise activities for DS2 (age 7, undergoing assessment for Aspergers) outside of school, to give him an interest and to help him socialise. He loves school but doesn't have any friends, he is happy that way but also doesn't take part in any of the lunch-time activities such as football. He hates any games/sports where there is an element of competition because he is a very bad loser - would rather not play at all than risk not winning!

We tried swimming but he's afraid of water, tried Judo which he enjoyed aged 5 but refused to go to as he got older and the competition element was introduced. I thought we'd finally got somewhere when he started gymnastics but now he's refusing to go. He says he enjoys it but doesn't like being told what to do, and is afraid they'll make him do some of the apparatus that he's afraid of. The gym teachers couldn't be sweeter, they are very understanding if any of the kids don't want to do something (the kids are 4-7) but I don't know what to do now. Spent a fortune on kit and fees, but last week he was hysterical and refused to go. I don't want to force him, and I don't think I could force him anyway.

Any advice much appreciated - should I just accept that he doesn't want to do any activities, or can anyone suggest any that their ASD/Asperger's children enjoy?? Sorry this is long

OP posts:

Marne · 27/01/2011 10:46

Dd1 (AS) doesn't really do any activities outside of school, she would like to do something but i can't get her there . How about cubs/scouts?

Dd1 is also a bad loser so we struggle with sport, she likes the church club that the school runs for a few weeks during the easter term (they do a lot of craft and a few games).

IndigoBell · 27/01/2011 10:54

The only activity my Aspie has stuck with is cubs / scouts.

I would probably give up on the sports based activites. Sounds like they're not going to be his thing.

Original poster

LifeInTheSlowLane · 27/01/2011 10:54

I had thought of cubs, possibly if he could go with his older brother (8 1/2) but the local clubs are all full at the moment. He is keen on art, but there don't seem to be any clubs around here - just v.expensive places like pottery studios etc where you can go and paint mugs ...

Sorry your DD isn't able to do much either - I'm sure my DS would be happy not to but I suppose I feel I should be doing my best to encourage him to socialise. Seems like an impossible task sometimes!

OP posts:

Original poster

LifeInTheSlowLane · 27/01/2011 10:55

IndigoBell - do they have games/sporty activities as part of cubs? I'm just worried that he wouldn't like that aspect of it if they do.

OP posts:

bullet234 · 27/01/2011 10:57

What does he like doing?

Toughasoldboots · 27/01/2011 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

LifeInTheSlowLane · 27/01/2011 11:08

Bullet234 - he likes arty crafty things, loves animals, loves soft play type places (that's why I thought he'd love gymnastics - lots of running,jumping etc!). Just when he is making progress with anything he seems to worry that he won't be able to do it, and then gives up or loses interest. Im happy to take him to soft play etc but I'd just really like him to have a regular activity so he can get to know other kids, rather than going by ourselves to soft play and not interacting with anyone else IYSWIM.

OP posts:

Marne · 27/01/2011 11:10

Horse riding? (it was the only thing i was good at as a child), you dont have to compete, you don't have to socialize too much and you can learn to care for an animal.

IndigoBell · 27/01/2011 11:11

Yes, they have lots of games. Things like dodge ball etc. May not suit your son...

He is socializing all day at school. (Just by being there.) He's only 7. It is fine for him not to do any other activities.

(In fact it's fine for all kids not to. I certainly didn't do anything at 7....)

Why don't you put his name down for cubs - eventually they'll ring you with a place. And by then he might be more ready for it.

There's also boys brigade and woodcraft folk.

There may be a local Autism support club which runs a club for kids.

There's also doing nothing for 6 months and seeing what you feel like then.

bullet234 · 27/01/2011 11:15

Both my lads love softplay. We found a fantastic place for them within walking distance as well. Quite small, with loads of toys alongside and safety gates to stop any escape attempts.
I think I can understand why your ds would shy away from gymastics. When he's doing softplay there's no restrictions, no instructions. He doesn't have to, for example, do a somersault at this point, or get his arms and legs to time everything just so. There's no "pressure" on him to react at a set time. He can just leap about and have fun.
It's a pity there aren't softplay clubs.

dazedandconfused · 27/01/2011 11:17

Just wondering if there are any special needs activities for children in your area? We have an organisation called 'Project Ability' that runs fab art and film-making sessions for ASD kids. Often they're voluntary sector organisations. We found this was one of the first activities that worked for our DS - the only other one we've persevered with was swimming. Took him a long time to get off armbands and learn to swim but he has finally done it. Or you could start up your own (eg Lego club?) in local community centre? Agree with Marne - anything with animals could be really enjoyable - planning to try this with my DS (aged 7). Best of luck. We do a lot of going to play centres at quiet times because DS likes them as long as they're not too busy, and it gives him a good combi of doing his own thing/interacting with others. Like your DS, he's not really up for other sports as yet.

Original poster

LifeInTheSlowLane · 27/01/2011 11:24

Horse riding might be quite good actually ... I did a little bit when I was younger and also his cousins go riding (we are not near enough for him to go to the same place) Only problem is that he is very afraid of dogs, and horse stables always seem to have a few dogs hanging around! Sorry if I seem to be ruling everything out, you are all being really helpful

Indigo, you are right - it's fine for him to do no activities, I just feel I should give him the opportunity because his older brother does a couple of things after school (not things DS2 would chose to do though).

OP posts:

growlybear · 27/01/2011 11:25

a friend of mine has a 3 diswabled children one with autism one with aspergers and one with add they go to a church youth group where they do lots of art and craft and making things.

newlife4us · 27/01/2011 11:50

My DD (epileptic and very dyspraxic) joined a very inclusive theatre group. It was run with empahsis on fun. (not a serious performing arts school). She really enjoyed it and it helped with her confidence. I don't know if this may be something that your DS would enjoy. Also agree with the horseriding suggestion.

Tiggles · 27/01/2011 11:57

DS1 (AS) loved Boys Brigade when he was 6, our local one was run by a special needs teacher and despite DS not having a dx at that point she was fab with him - never forced him to join in the team games etc but let him watch whilst doing colouring for example. Then we moved so he had to stop going.

He tried karate when he was 7- managed a couple of terms but he wasn't really able to concentrate properly at it.

Now he goes fencing and really enjoys it. He has done 2 competitions and amazingly he was the kid who wasn't crying and throwing a tantrum when he didn't win. I think he likes to hide behind his mask!

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