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SN children

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Original poster

Really fed up with schools inability to cope :-(

27 replies

321pen · 25/01/2011 11:20

Yet again yesterday we get the dreaded call from school to fetch DS as he has gone into meltdown.
I get there and manage to calm him enough to get him in the car and bring him home. Deputy Head who was with him tells me they will call.
At 4.15 they call to say we need to keep him home today and the head will call today for me to go in and discuss how to move forwards.
This morning we get a call saying the appointment with the head is tomorrow at 11am. So once again, they trigger a meltdown and we get to be the respite care for a few days.
What's really hard is that I am supposed to be trying to get a job at the moment and it's just not possible to call anyone or do online applications when he is home. And as legally he should be in school I can't even get OH to take him out so I can focus :-(

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 25/01/2011 11:25

You don't have to collect him - or to keep him home. Obviously they haven't formally excluded him.

So I think you should keep sending him ti school. If they want him out they need to formally exclude him.

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 11:27

The fact they've asked us to keep him home till the meeting indicates that the meeting will include handing me the exclusion letter. Sadly this is not the first time. He has already had about 6 formal exclusions :-(

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 25/01/2011 11:29

Do you complain to the governors each time?

Have you contacted SOS SEN or Ipsea?

Does he have a statement?

How old is he?

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 11:39

He is 13 and in MS. He has a statement although it will soon be updated as his dx of Aspergers is pretty recent. He also has CP.
To be fair to the school they are really trying to put things in place to help him but when something goes wrong his meltdowns include very public swearing at people, running away and if you try and stop him aggression.
Last week we implemented plan 'z' and the head told me we'll start back at the beginning of the alphabet if we need to until we get it right.
We already take him in late, collect him early he has 1:1 support ( not sure where they were at the time of the incident yesterday though.)

No I haven't complained to anyone.
I haven't heard of SOS SEN what do they do?

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 25/01/2011 11:43

What is triggering his meltdowns?

He is 13, so has been at his sec school for at least 2 years - has he always had the same problems?

IndigoBell · 25/01/2011 11:48

SOS SEN mainly deal with statements but Ipsea have advice about exclusions

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 11:49

Yes, he's in yr8 as he repeated yr 7 in order to try being in a small group situation.
I think the biggest problem is that no-one knew he had ASD until September 2010 so he has been mis-handled for years in particular during primary.
What's so frustrating is that he has been seen regularly by various EP's, Psycologists as well as other professionals who really should have picked up on it but because he already had a dx of CP everyone just told us his behaviour was linked to that :-(

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 25/01/2011 12:04

How did he find working in a small group? Was it in a special room or just with a TA in class? Is there anyone at his school who knows anything about ASD/Aspergers?

thederkinsdame · 25/01/2011 12:07

CAn they exclude him first, then give you the letter? I would have thought that that would make it an informal exclusion and that you could argue that he stays in school until you have the letter in your hand, but I don't have much experience of this so not 100% sure!

Hope you get it sorted.

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 12:36

He hated the small group mostly because it was full of disruptive children. He has now moved out of that group and is in a standard class with a TA. The actual classes are going really well it's the unstructured times where these problems always occur.
I was led to believe that they had now put constant supervision during lunch etc. in place so I really don't understand how this incident was allowed to happen
I know his usual support was off sick yesterday but there still should have been someone with him.

OP posts:

auntevil · 25/01/2011 13:49

Yep, i was going to pick up on what you mentioned about the TA was in all this. There must have been some build up to trigger an incident that would warrant exclusion. Their back couldn't have been turned for that long.
If the school are really trying to find a way for your DS to remain at the school, they should be looking at the events that trigger these meltdowns. And that includes looking at themselves to see if the constant supervision is working, and if not, why not.
If the Substitute TA was not made aware of their responsibilities re the 1-1, then there are extenuating circumstances to this meltdown.

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 14:04

I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow to get some answers. At least I have a good relationship with the Headmaster and the SENCO ( I used to do some voluntary language teaching for them )

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 25/01/2011 14:24

Aaah, yes, a very common problem - children not being properly supported at unstructured times.

It sounds like you know what is needed and will be able to have that discussion with them and pin them down. Fingers crossed that they will put in that support, including emergency arrangements!

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 14:30

The problem is that I thought they had.
That was plan 'z' last week. He now has his break in the LS room with a friend invited to join him and at lunch is supposed to be accompanied and then attend lunchtime extra curricular sessions.

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 25/01/2011 14:31

So what happened yesterday? Did he not get to do that?

Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 15:01

I only have his side of the story but he says that he was messing around with a friend pretending they were going to pinch stuff after lunch. A teacher saw them and started shouting at him at which point meltdown commenced. The school and we all know that shouting is a particularly effective way to get him to lose control and start swearing etc...

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Original poster

321pen · 25/01/2011 15:02

If he had a TA with him they should have gently told him to stop messing around and he would most likely have been fine.

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Original poster

321pen · 26/01/2011 15:44

Had the meeting with the HT and he is now excluded for a fixed 5 day period.
I am extremely worried as to what will happen then though as school really feels that they are not meeting his needs at the moment and have run out of ideas on how to help him cope.
They are going to insist that someone from the LA comes and meets with them and me on Monday to discuss what additional help the LA can provide, bearing in mind that he was diagnosed with Aspergers in September and although there have been changes and people have been brought in to advise, this has all been done by school/parents and no additional help has been offered from LA.
On top of that we were referred to SS by both school and the police and all they did was pass the buck back to school to organise a caf. They never even bothered to do an assessment. :(

OP posts:

auntevil · 26/01/2011 16:22

Did you clear up what happened? Has the school not suggested statementing and trying to get other parties involved from a LA level. If they haven't, do it yourself.
It does seem that there is no-one other than you who is pushing for the support that is very obviously needed. The school has already said that they have run out of ideas. Well, then they need to be pro-active and find professionals that can give them the strategies needed to support your DS. If they won't do it voluntarily, make them do it legally by statement.

bigcar · 26/01/2011 16:30

have you thought about calling an emergency review? These sound just the reasons for calling one tbh.

Original poster

321pen · 26/01/2011 16:34

He is statemented with 25 hours support stated so max level. This was already in place due to his cp.
His statement needs reviewing since the aspergers diagnosis to incorporate any specific requirements due to that but the EP had hoped to find a workeable solution first and then write the revised statement incorporating any changes that had been put in place.
The school are going to insist that an appropriate representative from the LA attends the meeting on Monday so that they can input on possible ways forward.
In fairness to the school they have contacted the local autistic school and had an outreach person come in and suggest different approaches which they have implemented. In class everything is going really well but during lunch break it all seems to go to hell in a handcart at the drop of a hat :(

OP posts:

Original poster

321pen · 26/01/2011 16:35

I have now left a message for his LEA caseworker to call me. Maybe he will have some suggestions.

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 26/01/2011 16:36

Does your LEA not have an ASD team that school can ask advice from?

Ring parent partnership. They do know the answers to questions like that.....

In fact definitely ask PP what they think.

Do you want him to continue at this school? It does sound like a fairly good and supportive school - but do you think anywhere else would be better? A school with an ASD unit? HE? A diff school? PRU? Private ASD School? ???????

Original poster

321pen · 26/01/2011 16:59

Thanks Indigo. That a good suggestion, I will call PP and see what they think.
It is a really good school arguably the best in Manchester and certainly the most over subscribed. They have been very supportive since DS went there and we have very good communication with them so in an ideal world if we can find a workable solution, I would like him to stay there.
However, not at the expense of his happiness and/or well being. If not there then I really don't know what is an option for him :(

OP posts:

Willmum · 26/01/2011 17:50

25 hours is not going to cover break and lunchtime. Thats just teaching hours. School may offer to do it over and above but if it's not in the statement they don't have to offer it.
Did you get an answer about where the TA was when the meltdown happened?

I would ask for an emergency review now. Asked for increased hours for break/dinner to be included etc and for it to be re-written to take into account his aspergers.

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