Do I pull out of school then request statement or request statement first?

[rebl]

I have snapped. I'm so angry I can't even type it out right now. I need to get my ds at least assessed. The school are crap. I'm getting no sleep what so ever. DD is at breaking point because of DS behaviour towards her.

Do I write to the LA asking for assessment or do I just pull him out and find another school and cope with the fall out of 2 children at different schools?

get them both out of there.

honestly.

you will feel so much better. huge weight off shoulders etc.

after all, even if the next school isn't fantastic at handling the issues - they are so not going to be worse, are they?

do it.

and start to stop the unravelling (I know that feelign - all your work ,coping wiht everythign, all being undone by people who refuse to acknowledge the issues they are creating). but you can change that, and you have manage dot be in control before.

you can get there again, but you need a school which is not ignoring your dd's health issues, or your ds' behavioural/educational issues. with the right support (hell, with any support) it could all be so different. and it will be.

We ended up moving about 70 miles away when we found this school, but we wanted a fresh start. We also knew from IPSEA that our previous LEA had a dreadful record re SEN.

We moved from a large school to a tiny one. My DD was lost in a class of 30. I think part of the reason her needs were so visible is that the school was much smaller. Being in a mixed year group has really helped as there are differing abilities. I also looked at Sats results to check there was a range of abilities and when viewing the school described Briefly DD's issues. the head made a point of showing me how they were adapting to other children's needs.

I have been really careful not to run the old school down. I said DD was unhappy at previous school but I didn't say that I was. The new school have formed their own opinion!

Best of luck. I hope you can find a school that you are happy with.

newlife Thank you. I'm so glad that it worked out for you. It really is giving me hope. I have seriously considered moving areas totally but moving house at the moment isn't an option financially. We only just moved a year ago.

The mixed year group I thought would work well for my ds but it isn't because although they are physically in the same room they never work together. Reception are rarely with the teacher, always with the ta. The ta is very good and it works well for all the others in the reception year but not a child with SEN. I will be careful not to put the school down. I'm pretty sure they all talk to each other! I've just rung and expecting a call back from the ht at our 1st choice. I will make sure that I don't put the current school down.

I've had a busy morning on the phone. I've spoken with the family support worker at NDCS and she's made a referal to a specialist CAMHS team who specialise in deaf children and adults. She's spoken with their Ed psyc after she'd emailed the referal over. They will be meeting to discuss ds on Thursday with a view to the 1st appointment with them within 4 weeks. They apparently said that my ds was well within their remit and was the type of child they can help.

Not heard back from the school yet.

good news rebl, hope you get it all sorted, the ndcs are pretty fab. Just hope the school are the same. How are dd and ds today?

DD screamed about going to school and I nearly didn't take her but ds wanted to go so I got them both in the car and when it came to me actually leaving them at school dd wanted to stay! So she's there, with ds. Not heard from the school with regards our letter.

Have now spoken with the ht from our 1st choice option. There is space as I knew. She is going to investigate at county level to ensure that she'd be right in bring him in at SA+ (because she can't understand why he isn't already so wants to make sure she's not misunderstanding things). She was very nice and even when I was saying how his behaviour was and it really doesn't paint a nice picture she thanked me for being honest. I did point out he can of course be a delight, its just he has a difficult streak to him. She asked if I thought he was performing academically at his full potential so I said that I've been told he's doing fine. She said thats not the right answer, he could be performing at average but if he's a genius thats not good enough. She assured me that no child has ever got out of her school and that if a child did the parents would be immediately informed. She said that the picture she's getting is a child who is unhappy and acting up for attention.

Forgot to say I'm meeting with her face to face on Friday.

I feel so much happier for getting some balls rolling at last. It certainly seems to be true that unless you shout very loudly you get no help at all.

that sounds positive, hope the meeting goes well. Hopefully your letter will have stirred them enough to make sure dd and ds remaining time is less fraught.

Great news rebl. New school sounds great. Can't believe you've taken a whole term to come to this decision :)

I hope Friday goes well. The HT sounds like she's making all the right noises! Don't be worried about schools talking to each other. I was really worried when we moved DD that old school would say there was nothing wrong with her and that I was slightly neurotic. It didn't happen - new school were slightly aghast when they got DD's file at complete lack of action.

I've my fingers crossed for you.

I'm lost for words. DD was sick TWICE in school today. I wasn't called and I wasn't told. I've found out from DD (who I told off for lying because I thought the school would have called if she really had) and since had it confirmed by 2 other children.

That's awful! Focus on Friday and get through the week -keep DD off at least tomorrow. The school is clearly failing your DC on several counts. The other school has places and the HT sounds caring.

My DD has unconteolled epilepsy aswell as SN. I was called daily to collect her as they wouldn't take training or keep her until she had recovered. My DS, who is NT, was so unhappy because DD always ill, being bullied, withdrawn and upset on way/from school. He was behaving quite similarly to your DS - running in front of moving cars deliberately, constant tantrums and uncontrollable behaviour at home. (an angel at school though!)

Now DD happier he's like a different child. When we left old school he was same age as your DS. They can't explain their feelings so show it through their behaviour.

Keep going until the end of the week and keep focussed. If anything the school's inaction today can only reinforce your decision.

Rebl - how did it go?