Was ds teacher suggesting there is a problem?

[roseability]

Today I was pulled aside by my ds key nursery teacher. He is 4.11

She said at times he has difficulty following instructions (although this isn't consistent). We chatted and she also divulged that she thought he was a'serious boy' and that he can be very focused on one thing that interests him and sometimes in group time needs brought back to the discussion. I noticed it says in his record, he can need help expressing his emotions appropiately

As background, he is a bright wee boy and generally well behaved. I think his language is very good. He is friends with a wee girl next door although I don't know how friendly he is with children at the nursery - I mean he doesn't mention names but I presume he interacts.

On the odd occasion, when he was younger, I did mildly worry that he was autistic. He could be very repetitive and for years was obsessed with dinky cars and lining them up. He does flap his hands when he is excited but I have noticed my dd doing this and thought it was normal.

He is affectionate with me now but when he was younger I worked and when I picked him up from his granny, he wouldn't look up or even notice I had been gone. He often would push away from me, although I put this down to him being a 'daddy's' boy in that daddy has always been popular and works where as I have been at home mostly. At playgroup for a while I would pisk him up and he would look bemused or even annoyed then he saw a boy run to his mum and hug her and he did the same for a long time. I just had a hunch he was copying this behaviour.

He is a little bit anxious about hand washing (although we had several vomiting bugs last year and I got more stringent about hand hygiene) and doesn't like being dirty or strange textures.

He has never liked art and crafts but he does dress up and role play. He does make eye contact but is prone to angry outbursts which can be inappropiate. I blame myself for that because at times I have lost my temper and let my anger get the better of me - I always apologise unreservedly and hug him and it doesn't happen often.

He clings to routine, even small details. However we have days out and go away and he adapts well.

I am not sure why I have written all this but I am worried his teacher is getting at something and previous worries have flooded back. TBH I thought he had grown out of more worrying behaviours and I really enjoy my ds. Of course I enjoyed him when he was younger too but will admit found him difficult at times. His sister is 19 months and she is very different (of course) - but now this has cropped up I find myself comparing what he was like at her age.

Argh! Just needed to write it down and if anyone wants to offer advice it would be welcome.

My ds means the world to me and I worry for him

My DS got diagnosed as Asperger's in response to a suggestion by his P1 (Reception) teacher. At first, I was really upset by the suggestion but the more I read about it, the more it seemed to fit with my DS' behaviour. You could ask your GDP for a referral to be seen by the autism team (or whatever is the equivalent in your area). There would be no harm in this, and they wouldn't diagnose him unless he was on the autistic spectrum. I don't regret DS having been diagnosed for a minute: it has opened up access to a lot of different resources and has helped us understand him much better at home. Don't worry - he will still always be the same lovely boy you know and love, no matter what! If you know for sure, it can put your mind at rest either way. Good luck.

Sorry ... ask your GP not GDP

i left you a message on other thread but glad to see you post here too.

There was an article in The Times a couple of years ago about the behaviour of pre-school age boys. It concluded that if you lined up 10 boys under 5 about 8 of them would display autistic/ ADHD behaviour.

At my DC's last school about 6 children were referred to GP as a result of concerns raised by the nursery teacher - all were fine. The GP was quite annoyed at the distress that this has caused these parents as it was felt that the teacher wasn't qualified make these diagnoses.

I would listen to the key workers concerns and if you are concerned ask your GP for a referral for assessment. My DD has special needs but, as a parent, I knew something wasn't right. My DS has displayed a number of the behaviour that you have described over the years. He does not have any special needs and now behaves appropriately for his age.

A mother's gut instinct is usually right - you know your DS better than anyone. If you are worried, see your GP even if it is to put your mind at rest. Best of luck.

What you describe is not ringing alarm bells, but ask the teacher to clarify, whether she was hinting at you speaking to gp or whether its normal for his age.

My experience is the opposite. I didn't have any concerns about DS. I didn't pick up the hints that his nursery and reception teacher were telling me - and DS was 9 before I realised what was going on and got him a dx (of Aspergers).

I regret that school weren't more plain with me and told me that they had concerns, rather than using school talk I didn't understand....

So my advice to you is to flat out ask them - do they have concerns about him, and do they think he should be assessed for anything.