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ASD questions - clinginess, popularity, pretend play

3 replies

Tiggles · 20/01/2011 20:26

DS1 (8) was assessed for AS last year. At the first part of the history questionnaire I was told that the questionnaire and a school visit were all that was needed in 'obvious' cases of AS. At the last part of the questionnaire (after the school visit) the lady said that they had observed lots of the behaviour I described in the questionnaire and that given DSs very obvious anxiety levels they wouldn't need to see him again before letting me know their results. I was meant to hear these results last term but they were postponed due to snow. So I hear them early next week instead. I am fairly certain given the above comments that DS will be given a diagnosis and as prepared as I can be for that, although still part of me hoping that they will say is a parenting issue.
However, during the questionnaire DS2 came up - he would have drastically failed the CHAT test at age 2 but slipped through the net as we moved areas and never had any development checks. So they said during DS1s questionnaire that they would like to keep a close eye on DS2 if DS1 got an AS dx. So I have a sneaky suspicion that DS2 is going to get raised at DS1s dx meeting and would like to be prepared. Now DS1 fits the AS dx like a glove, but DS2 doesn't. I know he wouldn't get an AS dx as he had very delayed speech, but presume as he now talks if he has anything it would be HFA. But there are some things that he does that I have no idea if they fit an ASD dx, and don't want to go down trying to get him dx-ed for the sake of it, if he is actually NT. He has loads of SPD issues, he loves routine - his rigidity was remarked on at his nursery (pre-school) parents evening (but then he is brought up in a fairly routined household due to it helping DS1). But, he is very clingy - not in the same way DS1 was. DS1 used to be put to bed, he wouldn't sleep but would happily stay in his room organising his books, teddies whatever. DS2 however wants me to be sat in his room, to promise I will sleep on his floor etc. He doesn't want to go to playgroup as he wants to be with me. When he comes out of nursery I get a big shout of 'Mummy' and he flies over to me. (DS1 would have been throwing a tantrum about changing from school to home environment, having tantrummed about going in in the first place).
Also, DS2 is very popular. Everybody in class wants to sit by him, be his friend etc. he is quite happy playing with other children, although he is also quite happy by himself too. He doesn't seem to recognise children well - the other day he was shouting at another child (their name) in a cafe as he was sure it was his friend from nursery. They looked barely similar other than the hair. He does push his trains, cars etc around track/road but having seen DS3 play - where all the cars/horses etc talk to each other and make up stories, DS2 doesn't go that far. (DS1 however just made the track).
Basically I guess what I am asking are any of the above ASD type traits, as I don't want to look completely stupid next week saying he can't have ASD because... when actually they are traits.

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tabulahrasa · 20/01/2011 22:55

none of that really rules out ASD...

Some people are clingy, some are solitary - it's not as cut and dried as it seems with that.

Some are sociable some are not.

My son played with cars and trains, it wasn't till later that I realised he didn't play with them 'properly' there was no imaginative play, he just re-enacted what cars and trains did and teh track had to be set up a certain way or it wasn't right, lol.

I think it's very hard when you have one child with very obvious issues to work out if another one does - because they might not present the same way.

that probably wasn't that helpful eh? sorry

Phlebas · 20/01/2011 23:48

Wow he sounds very much like my ds!

He's very strongly attached to me (what do you want ds? 'cuddle/snuggle/play with mummy' 'want to sleep with mummy'), very popular with the other children at nursery, he always gets a following of other kids when we go to soft play/park etc (he's charming, though he doesn't pay much attention to most them as individuals I think they are pretty much generic 'other child'), lots of imaginative play (not just using toy hoover/phone etc but object substitution too though it doesn't go as far as my nt dd1 - ds relies on scripts/scenarios that he already knows (though will adapt them) whereas dd1 (at the same age) would come up with completely novel play ideas).

He has a significant speech delay (he was pretty much non verbal at 3 when he was diagnosed), has delayed self care & social skills, dyspraxia, academically he's ahead of his peers. His diagnosis is ASD + Language Delay - they describe him as high functioning now.

TBH if it wasn't for his language issues we wouldn't have gone through the diagnostic process & I have had times when I'm not at all convinced by the diagnosis. In many ways he is nothing like the ASD stereotype (guess that's why it's a stereotype!), but if I'm honest I don't think SLI & dyspraxia covers his difficulties and though he's making good progress particularly with language & social skills there are other big problems (e.g. major food phobias) remaining.

Dunno if that's even remotely helpful - it is interesting to hear about children similar to ds though :)

Tiggles · 21/01/2011 08:16

thanks both - actually you were both really helpful :)

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