i in same situation as mum in news and i autistic and suicidal too still no help

[susan1973]

i have seen via news the thread woman in news i have a disabled son autism and adhd i get no help either and difference is i autistic adhd too i have pleaded for help and then take child into care they wont as said he cost em too much still no help my local mp promised to help before election after he got in he ignoring me he is gordon birtwistle burnley mp loads people emailed him on my behalf still no joy and due to autism i often feel suicidal over this people know this still no help please help me

I think I read something here earlier today that the Independent newspaper was looking for other families in similar situations to write about.

The BBC are appealing for stories from people in similar situations www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-12237100

What help do you get, if any?

Hi Susan. I hope someone with more experience of autism will be along in a mo, but just wanted to say hello and not leave your thread unanswered.

Hello. We're going to move this thread to the Special Needs topic, where we think you may get a better response.

Hi susan,i too have been following the story in the news today and have to say where that lady is i've been there.I have 2 children with asd and i have struggled on my own for nearly 10 yrs without help from anyone.I had a breakdown and felt i had know where else to turn and placed my kids in voluntary care.i have passed threw many emotions, and i had to fight to get the support for my children and get my kids back, as the authorities wanted to put my kids into foster care rather than help them.my story is long and complicated and my advice for you would be to shout! and make as much noise about your situation that is the only way you will get help, i am getting help now, but it has'nt been easy and it has taken me 10 yrs.

Hi, just wanted to say you're a special, unique person, like everyone is, and I'm sure you're a good mum. You know what's best for your child so you just have to keep shouting as loud as you can for as long as you can. good luck x

Sadly our situations are almost all thr same and noone is payiny any attention to us law abinding people who aew desperate foe rom9ne to get up an help us.
I Have been doing thid for many years, and no matter how hard you try, things nevengrt any better.Dont give up

hi i'm new here but i have a similar problem. my 15 yo son is adha and asd his respite was stopped in september 09 and s.s have closed his case. i have lupus nephritis so i find it really hard to keep up with him he is awake until 2 or 3 am he has anger issues and to make it worse his 13 yo sister has since his indefinate respite stopped become violent and abusive to everyone including me,her brother,her sister and even teachers at school. s.s was contacted by local hospital after she split her younger sisters head open (she needed 3 stitches) with a recomendation that help was needed. s.s did case review without my input and said there was no problem. they also contacted my ex husband (who i divorced because of domestic violence) and given him all my personal details even though the court ruled that he should not be given these details at the divorce hearing what can i do i cant cope with it any more

No easy answers, but wanted to say that I was reading the posts and agree totally that so much more needs to be done to support families through this stuff.
Frogmella, I'm appalled that your ex-h was given your details. That must be hugely scary for you. Is there a domestic violence unit at the local police station or local DV charity who can help you find some more safety in all of this?

Hi

Susan

in fact Mum in the news is also disabled but I agree not much coverage of that- MS in her case.

Amberlight is an expert on autism; I also know my stuff enough I think also. How can we help you?

Amber you have my email don;t you if all stress means you need a chatX. Helpers need care too and all that.

hi amberlight
i have already moved twice because he found out where i was.
also because of my lupus i dont think i could take another move and my 3 dc dont want to move again they are settled here and my ds doesn't do well with changes.
police and dv will only get involved if ex-h does something

Frogmella (great name)

Did you raise a complaint against SSD for giving info, that has to a sackable offence

Peachy, thanks - might well contact you.

Frogmella, sad to hear that the police etc aren't interested, but I can understand why you don't want to be having to move. DV is a strange thing - if people were burgled, we'd never dream of asking them to move house so that the burglars couldn't find them any more. But if it's someone who's been frightening/violent towards their family, society still expects the victims to have to move. Very odd, and very wrong.

I've PM'd susan with the new link for this thread (which has been moved) in case she gets lost in the outer darkness...

i contacted a solicitor in july about my ds respite and it was after she got involved that i found out the s.s has been in contact with ex-h since 2000 i have had no contact other than the divorce (he never turned up)and custody hearing since 97.
solicitor has since moved firms but still willing to take my case as she's not impressed with the way s.s havetreated me or my ds.
btw name frogmella came from harry enfields wayne and wayneta slob(showing my age now)

Ah I know the origin LOl (age? no such thing, attitude is all that counts my dear )

I agree about the moving; friend just had to hand in her job, kids lose their school and move counties away to the only house WA could locate becuase the H got out of prison and was after them: apart from the fact that he should not have been released early if that was needed (WTF?) how come she lost everything becuase he's a wanker?

Sorry, still angry.

WRT to this case though, Frogmella, I think I would be ging the Mp, then a frank meeting with SSD in a safe location route; put cards on table, say you are very unhappy. Speak to CAB as they ahve lists of advocates in your area who can help.

Susan I wish you were closer, but I am a long way away; am willing to put together a professional letter to your mp (again...) if you messaage me, sometimes something on headed notepaper helps; also how much have you had to with the NAS and do they have a befrinder scheme in your area? I get impression your chil over 5 which is a shame as I think homestart would ahve been ideal; we need something like thm for older children

thanx peachy went mp last time and had meeting with s.s thats when i was given indefinate repite.(06)
new s.s team decided i dont need help and stopped respite last yr.
dd1 has been in trouble constantly since it stopped because she doesn't have that extra"special girlie time" that both dd's got used to.