AS and school trip - she is so wound up :(

[Flame]

DD1 has come out of school and been truly vile (thread in chat). Having sat and spoken to her, it seems to be because of a school trip tomorrow.

It is a full day thing. I am going too, but the whole going out of school for the whole day, lunch out etc seems to have set her into a spiral.

She says she doesn't want to go. She says it will be ok as she will have a partner to work with next week who will know the information.

I am going on the trip too, but that isn't helping her :(

She will regret it if she doesn't go, but at the same time she is spiralling worse than I have seen in ages.

What do I do?!

How much info does she have on exactly what the timings are, what the place will look like, what she will be expected to do, where the loos are, where the quiet spaces are to retreat to if she needs it? Info like that makes it possible for me to get to and from events, and without it I panic as well (as someone on the autism spectrum).

I will sit and talk her through it all, I have been before luckily so I know most of that :)

oh if you know that sort of stuff tell her, I'd also tell her what happens if she doesn't go - I'm assuming that's stay in a different class at school?

and then let her pick...

Why do you think she will regret it if she doesn't go? How old is she?

If she was young (say 8 or less) I definitely wouldn't make her go if she doesn't want to....

Does the place she's going to have a web-site? if it does you could help her prepare for the day by looking at pictures on the web-site?

Dd1 gets like this too , we eaither have to planha the day (explaining whats going to happens, what time lunch is ect..) or change the subbject (if poss).

google street maps is the best invention ever for me, too - the chance to see exactly what places look like from the roadside, from all sorts of angles.

Oh, we love google maps, its great for checking places out, we use it a lot.

Surely the school would have done a risk assessment for this trip that would have involved them getting all this type of info? Not the google maps though! But timings, toilets, when to start off, times and places to meet?
This could have been given to you days ago to start the preparation for the trip.

Everyone seems to have made some good suggestions Flame. We also use street maps a lot and have to talk through every stage of the day ahead.

I hope you've already made some progress this evening and things are a little calmer for you all. I have had to make the decision to allow my dd to opt out occasionally when she has been particularly fretful about going somewhere. Although saying that, after talking things through she will often prefer to stick to the plan of the day when she realizes that by opting out of it her routine may actually be more disturbed.

Are they relying on you being there as a helper?

Must catch up with you soon

Sorry - been out for the evening.

I know she'll regret it as she always does when she backs out of things for this reason.

I'll do google maps in the morning - that will help :) She seemed a bit calmer for talking it through.

Tbh it has never been enough of an issue to crop up before, so planning in advance wasn't something I had thought of. She has AS traits, but generally mild enough to cause a bit of tension but not more iyswim

I think that as we get a bit older, we become more aware of what can go wrong and get a bit more nervous about it, maybe.

Really hope it goes ok today and she decides to try it...

hope it goes okay today Flame..and she has a nice time :)

Well, my alarm clock didn't go off.

Turns out insane panic to get there in time cancelled out the other anxiety!

Not the best method, but worked . She enjoyed herself, we had lots of cuddles throughout the day. Only small freak out moment when a fire alarm went off, but she was next to me, so I could hold her in and cover her ears.

Fantasic !:)

lol, lateness as an anxiety reducing measure, like it

Glad she enjoyed it though