quick advice needed re school

[cheeryface]

Ds2 11 had to leave secondary school , there was bullying and he couldnt cope . The school had suggested aspergers and wanted to have him assessed.
i requested a camhs appointment myself as he is also very emotionally unstable since. He had been ok at Primary.
just had a call from the school i am trying to get him a place at to go in a see them.
Do i tell them everything that has gone on ? do i tell them i think he needs special help and that we are looking into aspergers ? will they not want to take on a problem child ?

he was never a problem at primary and my first reaction to the schools suggestions was no way , but now im not sure except to say he needs help coping so this doesnt repeat.

please advise , i am clueless !
the school are usually oversubscribed and i was told that they can take additionally kids depending on the head and the circumstances.

Have you been to your GP and asked for a formal assessment with a pediatrician? Have you got/had the CAHMs appointment? I'm sure someone with far more knowledge will reply soon.

hmm, I think I would be honest assuming they will ring the old school so would find out anyway. What you want is that they will handle things better, they won't be able to do so without all the facts.

yes be honest. If they are funny about then they are not the right school. Why did your ds have to leave the school though -Why didn't the school sort it out? Is he at home at the moment?

the school were rubbish. they wouldnt accept there was any bullying even when he got punched in the face and they didnt return my calls for 10 days.
when i finally got to see the head of year he was arrogant, aggressive and left me in tears saying that it was all down to my son and he had some sort of problem.

Oh my god that is awful - when did this happen?

hes been out of school since beginning of december. Its been horrendous and we are still really struggling with emotional problems. tbh i am worried strating another school may tip him right over the edge. have posted a few times about it all.

well, I can certainly see why you wouldn't work with the old school! Have you got an appointment with camhs yet?

we had the initial appointment with camhs where they nfound out what was happening. They then said we should see the psychologist BUT theres a 6 month wait.

the school were rubbish. they wouldnt accept there was any bullying even when he got punched in the face and they didnt return my calls for 10 days.
when i finally got to see the head of year he was arrogant, aggressive and left me in tears saying that it was all down to my son and he had some sort of problem.

SNAP! I could have written that.

Definitely ask for a statutory assessment - you should apply as he's not actually attending school. Give that as one of the reasons for seeking the assessment.

He should be having some form of education while he's not able to attend school. The LA will expect school to provide him with something to do but as he's been out of school for a while the LA should be providing at least 5 hours of home tuition per week.

Try to get him signed off by the GP. Forcing him to go back to an uncaring envirnoment such as his current school will have a very bad effect on his mental health. If you don't get the GP to sign him off you run the risk of Educational welfare Officer getting involved.

I woudln't rush to get him back into any school. Look around. Speak to the SENCOs of each and ask how they would support him. If you're not happy with any of their responses then don't send him.

If the LA offer a Pupil Referral Unit - refuse. They are not places where children with long-term special needs should go. You'd just be solving the LA's problem very cheaply for them instead of holding out for the suitable placement with the right level of support in a school that will care for him.

If you don't start the process by seeking a Statement the LA will drag this out. The longer he's out of school the cheaper it is for them as they save money they would have had to spend providing the support he needs.

You really have my sympathy. Mine was forced to stop attending school at age 15 due to bullying and assualts. His mental health declined. He was referred to CAMHS and dx's with Aspergers. Only then, with the dx, was I able to obtain a suitable placement for him when he left hospital.

I woudln't want anyone to go through what he did.

Best wishes

Yes be honest with the school then you can avoid any who will be useless when they do find out.

Echo the tuition. Some info here

Also some internet / online school options eg here

thanx agnes

That is outrageous. Yes the school will send his records on to a new school. Have you requested his records? You can do so by asking in writing and I would think about doing that to see what they have recorded about him.

wetaugust , so sorry for you and your ds. glad things got resolved in the end though. we had a fairly uneventful time at primary and what has gone on since hs really shocked me.
The upset and stress we have had with this has been immense.
thanks for the advice