I shake my head at what I have to say to ds

[Thecarrotcake]

" take the foam pen grip out of your nose!"

" why do you think I want to put a foam pen grip up my nose?"

" no I don't want to put the pen grip up my nose"

" take the pen out of your nose"

he is twelve

My DS is also 12. Most of our conversations at the moment seem to revolve around variations on leave your willie alone when there are other people around!

Ahhh we stopped that a couple of years ago.. Although. I expect it will start again in a year or so

i wish!

In our house it's take your finger out of your nose and the tv buttons out of your mouth

Ineed ds ate all the remote buttons when he was younger.. !

( obviously we did intentionally let him)

Did you subsidise his diet with anything else??

Straws and items of clothing also get eaten in this house.

The daft thing is she would go berserk if they broke as they are her sole property from 7am until 7pm every day.

:o

I meant to say didn't let him

oh yes his diet was subbed with avacardo ( because that is what he would eat .. Ohh and 'moo moo' biscuits!

Would that be cbeebies ?

Lol no sadly outgrow, we are currently watching repeats of Tracy Beaker interspersed with repeats of Horrid Henry.

Oh and if she had her way she would have one on the computer and one on the telly.

Gah... We have tracey beaker and horrid henry in this house too! They need to make more episodes!

'stop eating your clothes' and 'don't swear at me/call me that name'
We have a list on our cupboard door of the names he is allowed to call us....

For some reason, DS2 has recently taken to calling us Mr Mummy and Mr Daddy. Not a clue why.... but we're constantly saying "that's mummy, not mr mummy..."

'Take that out of your mouth'

'Turn that telly DOWN'

'What are you doing?'

'Leave that alone... I mean PUT IT DOWN... NOW!'

"That's [blah], not food. Take it out of your mouth please. Would you like a rice cake?"

'Dont touch the TV'

'DS No touch TV!'

'DS touch TV, mummy turn it over!'

(TV is covered in mouth and hand prints from kisses and licks and touching the phone numbers on adverts).

It drives dh nuts!

We put our tv on the wall after DD smashed the last (new) one with the tv remote...before we had accidental damage cover!

Our common phrases;

'Dont lick your brother.'

'Put the chair legs on the floor.'

'No picking...face/bum/nose'

I never get the difference with DS. Why will he not put a knife and fork in his hands and put in his mouth to eat with, yet will lick any random metal pole that we happen to stand near (on a bus, in a park, in shops etc) .
I'm just waiting until one is really cold and he gets his tongue stuck!

Ha ha auntevil

My son licked a metal railing in December about 2 yrs ago and got his tongue stuck...

And no it hasn't stopped him licking things!

in most houses, little lego pieces disappear irretrivably because they have gone into the hoover - not in our house!

ds1 has not long turned 13, and his body is changing - he is extremely proud of his "hairy winkie" and is offering a "look" to anyone and everyone at the moment

Ha -So it seems I am not alone!
Stop licking! Finger out of nose please! Put it away (willy) Take hands out of your pants! Stop chewing your collar/sleeve! Use your fork! Flush the loo!
Not in that order of course! Ds is 11.

" ds please get on your spacehopper/gymball and bounce!"

( which sounds odd be ause I say it when he is strewed and bouncey.. And most parents would go the opposite way :) .. but it calms ds down and prevents meltdowns and pinging off the Walls!)

" turn your volume down please" .. It never ceases to amaizes me how much noise ds can make considering his hypersensitive hearing!

" that was a joke ds" usually followed by his very big and over done laugh.

" stop stroking [ insert object or person]".. he is as I type stroking the table cloth.. And it's making me have goose bumps... When dh gets home ds will sit next to him and stroke his furry arms!

I have given up with the eat with your knife and fork for some foods ..you know.. He can eat with a knife and fork but it's not pretty nor effective in some cases and fingers work okay at home.

( because he's stressed and bouncy!) silly phone!

I thought strewed was quite a good descriptive word. Strewed and bouncy to me is when they drape themselves all over random objects and then roll around/off/on top of them, a bit like strewn.
Magso, i can sooo identify with the chewing cuffs. I bought a new coat for DS and it arrived just after Christmas. The cuff is already in shreds. Grrrrrr.
Had to laugh at you saying 'not in that order' too!

Oh the volume!!

We have started saying "A small voice please" to Dd3 she has got really loud and shouty again recently. If one of us dares to raise our voice though, you would think the world had ended.

Dd3 has taken to sucking the collar of her coat, yuk.

Carrot I totally see why you rate your gymball and thankyou so much for recommending it, Dd3 absolutly loves hers.

:) so pleased she likes it !

( contained pinging off Walls! Lol)

you need a space hopper next.. And then your house will look like mine!.. ( RL people think I'm nuts with giant balls in the house :o ... But it all makes sense!)