Finally got to the bottom of what's been bothering DS

[nameymacnamechanger]

He's not been right for about a week and thurs and fri he had a virus of some sorts but was also very anxious and emotional, he finally told me today he doesn't want "to see the timer at school".

DS is 6 (eldest in class - year one MS) has ASD, sensory issues, anxiety, etc.

Turns out in school they are using a timer which counts down and at the end "the ballon bursts" (I'm assuming it's sound and picture) "for when they get changed at P.E. time".

DS is sound sensitive and HATES balloons popping. I can't imagine how anxious a ticking sound leading to a balloon bursting would make him. Asked a friend with a ds in same class to ask her NT son about it, he has confirmed it and friend is also shocked about it and thinks it's an awful idea.

I cannot believe they thought this would be a good idea and I'm so annoyed for DS. I know there is another child in his class with ASD and dspraxia, and another child with CP - sure they maybe will have a helping hand getting changed but they must feel so anxious - it just seemssuch a negative approach IMO.

AM I over reacting????

No you're not overreacting at all.

I would have a word with the people who are using this and explain that this timer is not working for your son and has made him thus more anxious. I would also be talking to the SENCO about this too to see if they can use another timer. Would he accept a sand based timer?.

I would be having his IEP updated as well.

Perhaps they should be asking him what if any sort of timer would be helpful to him.

No you're not overreacting, my DD (ASD) is sound sensitive too, timers work well but that one sounds horrible! :(

Is the school easy to approach on such issues? I hope you manage to sort it out. Unfortunately my DDs school is rubbish, I asked for more quiet time (class of 50+ DCs) and they responded by saying DD has quiet time...reading books on the carpet..still in the same room as the 50+ DCs! Her teacher also said 'A lot of DCs find it tough returning after holidays.'

I think they are using it on the whole class to hurry them all up . Cosnidering DS is the oldest in the class and most of class are still five it just seems very pressurised. My friend thinks its too much for any kid in the class.

Will speak to head in morning and also ask when senco is in to have a chat with her (she is part time).

He has a sand timer for brushing his teeth but it is more of a keep going until then thing to show him how much time he needs to take rather than a pressured 'you should be done by this time'.

What would be put in IEP in relation to this do you think? I will dig out his current one and see what is on it in relation to dressing and changing and suchlike.

His TA is fantastic, she has worked with anotherchild on the spectrum and really gets DS but I suppose it's not her classroom is it. I just don't understand why no one has come out and said 'hmm are you sure this is the best way'. I guess it will be me pointing out the obvious as usual.

We use this timer at home, not to pressure but as a warning to activities ending as it can make DD anxious...

www.amazon.co.uk/Learning-Resources-LER6900-Time-Tracker/dp/B0007DHU0S/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_3

The sound can be turned off/changed and the timing on each section can be altered. :)

Good luck getting things sorted. I hope your DS feels better this week.

They are usually good, they have been really supportive overall I have to say so hopefully they just need it pointing out to them.

Just looked at DS's latest IEP, it is rather sparse! Is there a basic framework or model to an IEP? I need to get out my velvet steamroller.

I found at last week that a month or two ago everyone was sat at 'the panel' (who give the official DX) and said "oh mum hasn't handed in this questionnaire, we can't dx him never mind maybe next time we meet in a couple of months". They've bloody had the bloody questionnaire already! Argh.

I need to get my bossy boots on don't I?

My DS walks out of class if they ever use a timer (say for example every single times table test he's been asked to sit :) )

He would also walk out at balloon popping.

You need to ask they don't use either of these things while your DS is in the room. That is a perfectly reasonable adjustment for his SEN.

x-posted superfantastic, that timer looks really good. I use a timer in the same way at home with my ds to give him fair warning of something changing or about to happen as he gets upset too by little changes.

My DS doesn't have it in him to walk out IndigoBell (good on your ds tho!). He is more likely to panic on the spot and cry or hide under a table. I'm so upset about it as I can imagine how anxious it must make him!

My NT dd would freak out with a timer in a getting dressed for / from p.e. situation. She HATES timers and I find if that pressure if put on her then she takes longer because she spend the whole time screaming that she doesn't want the timer. I don't think this is a reasonable thing to be used with that age group at all personnally. Sounds like your friend has pretty much said exactly the same thing.

Exactly, most kids this age won't see it as a fun challenge or anything will they, it's pressure and there's no cheering at the end, there's a bloody balloon popping!!

My friend is mad about it being used for her son too who is NT, very calm natured and can dress himself so I do feel reassured that other parents also think it's a bad way of doing it.

I would agree the timer is not appropriate for getting changed, it can be hard enough the dcs dont need pressure. We only use timers at home and as warning of changes to reduce stress.

We also use the timer superfantastic recommends - ds reacts well to it.

I use a timer in class, it counts up rather than down so children try and beat their previous time. Or ignore it and change in their own time.
I'd explain to the teacher and ask her to think of an alternative.

I have also just realised that this means DS is getting changed in the hall in front of his class mates who can then all see that he is still in nappies! They just don't seem to be thinking and ds is suffering because of this.

We took the dog out for a walk before I put DS to bed and I told DS I was really pleased with him that he could tell me what had been bothering him and he burst into tears, big chest racking sobs and tears runnng down his face. I'm so proud he managed to tell me as he's not the world's best conversationalist and I just feel like scooping him up and running away with him.

According to friends son if your not dressed when the time's up your out of the game. DS has described it as terrifying and has apparently already told his teacher he thinks it's terrifying.

Goblinchild your timer is a much better approach. DS was doing really well in his own time over the christmas holidays, he did up a button for the first time ever and I was soo proud of him.

Surely it is not odd to think children aren't going to learn due to pressure and shame? Maybe I'm wrong about this school. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

, I heard a teacher say to a child with known motor issues and sensitivities to items of clothing eg shirt buttons "Hurry up slow coach" the other day when the child was last to change!!

Not as awful as the ballon timer but pretty crap thing to say.

Terrible!

I feel wrung out. I'm so sick of fighting and pushing for the basics for DS. Bloody sick and tired of it.

I will be taking DS in to talk to the head with me as I want him to see and hear for himself that I am there for him, that I am his advocate and that when he tells me something is bothering him I will listen, take him seriously and act on it to try and make things better unlike his bloody teacher.

How this is dealt with in school is going to be make or break for me to be honest - I feel they have really let DS down with the whole P.E thing and their lack of judgement, knowledge of DS's individual needs, and communication has me seriously lacking in faith in them now.

Go in and educate them. Don't be apologetic or aggressive, be clear and explain what is going wrong and what you want to see them doing in order to ensure inclusion.
Borrow my special club if you like, it's called 'Reasonable Accommodation'
Ask them what external advice they have accessed' such as the county Inclusion team' if the school is struggling.
Be nice but firm. You can get nasty and firm next if they don't get their shit together quickly.