AIBU - DD1 out of school under their D&V policy

[r3dh3d]

Yesterday, we got a call to pick DD1 up from school because they thought she had D&V. Apparently a few kids in her (small) class had D&V symptoms so when DD1 had a dodgy nappy and seemed a bit under the weather, they sent her home.

School know very well that DD1 is prone to dodgy nappies. She's hemiplegic so her digestive system is erratic, and sometimes she drinks virtually nothing and other times (eg when she has a cold) she drinks lots and as a result she can have a Surprise Nappy without their being anything much wrong. We have had conversations with them before about this.

So, I was OK with them sending her home because it might be D&V and might not so we watched her carefully. She wasn't herself for a few hours - often the way when she has a cold or something - then perked right up. No dodgy nappies. No vomiting.

This morning I kept her off just in case. She's fine. She's stumping round the house getting in the way of the cleaners and SCREAMING constantly because she is bored rigid and wants to be at school. She's had a truly miserable Christmas stuck in the house what with the dreadful weather and everything. We phoned school and said we wanted to send her in tomorrow because she clearly had not had D&V, just a cold.

School - after 20 minutes arguing on the phone - point blank refused to allow her back in. They said because other kids had symptoms too, they were sticking to their D&V rules and she could not come in for 48 hours.

Am I being unreasonable to be mad as all hell about this? Fundamentally, they are refusing her access to education because of her disability. If they keep her off every time she has a dodgy nappy she'll never be in school. I'm so mad I'm thinking of threatening them with the DDA/Equality act. Is that feasible?

I've had this sort of thing with the school. It's never quite got to the point where I felt a big ol' fight was worth the hassle but if you really think it'll come up with great regularity you're probably best doing something. I had considered try to get a doctor to write a note for me (explaining either DS3s tendency to vomit or DS4s dodgy bowels), I thought that might work?

I think you should keep her home for 48 hours, if the school backs down then they will have to do this with other parents.

I wish my dd's school would stick to the 48 hour rule and then less kids would be ill (half of dd's class is off today).

I know its a pain because she seems fine and doesn't seem to have a bug but they are just sticking to their rules.

In my last job we had a 48 hour rule after d7v/ or d or v, this included if your ill after a night out (drink related) or sick because you had a bad cough.

We had similar problems a couple of years ago due to her Epilepsy. Like other small kids, she had constant coughs and colds - probably more so than usual - and in DD1's case that means sub clinical seizures and seeming a bit dozy and out of it. School decided to interpret this as being gravely ill and so sent her home every time she had a cold. It took a LOT of arguing with them to sort it out.

Part of the reason I'm so cross is that I am a parent governor and - it's an SLD/PMLD school - on the one hand I know that we do have kids with immune issues and I would never send her in if I had a moment's doubt that she might actually have had D&V. On the other hand, I know the huge proportion of kids with all sorts of complex medical issues we have and I'm sure DD1 isn't the only one sent home yesterday on spurious grounds. How often are we doing this? How often are kids being excluded from school by reason of "symptoms" which are actually just their disability?

Marne - what would have happened if someone you worked with eg had asthma and regularly coughed so much they were sick? Eg once a week? Your employer wouldn't - couldn't - have enforced the rule in their case, they would have changed it to be "being properly sick" and they would have to work out "properly sick" meant for that particular worker. That's what reasonable accommodation means, surely?

dd3 is exempt from the 48hrs at her school. However if I feel she is genuinely ill I will keep her off for the full time. Dd3 still has a bit of mild reflux and with the hypotonia, similar issues to your dd. School have surprised me on this actually, thought they may kick up but it is her disability not an illness the vast majority of the time. It's also written into her care plan, don't know if that makes a difference.

r3dh3d- i'm not sure, it was a job where food prep was involved (so to risky to contaminate food), one lady had morning sickness and was not allowed in for 48 hours, eventually she was signed of by her GP because each time she was sick she was sent home. (sounds mad i know).

Dd1 used to make herself sick at nursery (through anxiety) eventually they realised she wasn't ill and just cleaned her up and let her stay. I do see your point.

we had this with dd1.

she sometimes has some bouts of cyclical vomitting. there's no bug, she just throws up.

and, she went through a good couple of years where she would throw up if she had a bath. not through hysterical reaction - several hours later, without fail (especially if w had washed her hair), she would be sick. she was always sick 3 times, about 2 hours apart.

her last school excluded her for this. which meant she was off for 3 days every fortnight (we went scummy for a while, as otherwise she'd have never been at school!).

I talked to her current school about this, and told them there was no way I'd send her in if she was actually ill, but that to keep having so much time of school was detrimental to her education.

they agreed, and the only time they ahve asked me to keep her at home was the time it coincided with a particularly nasty bug going around, which the whole schol was passing around merrily. they shut the school for 3 days (only 3 pupils anyway, dd1 was being sick due to bath, antoher pupil off sick with bug), and anti-bacced it form top to bottom. gave everyone a chance to recover (staff wise), and get on top of it.

otherwise they were fine with her periodical mystery vomitting bouts (she stayedat home while being sick, but they didn't enforce 48 hr rule, as she clearly wasn't actualy ill)

Thanks all.

OK, my plan is:

• booked phone appt with GP who used to be a community paed and is fabulous. For which read "does what I suggest or comes up with something better". Will explain situation to her and ask her to write a letter confirming that a dodgy bum is inherent to DD1's condition and suggesting how we tell the difference between D&V and Business As Usual in her case
• write to the Head, detailing events and suggesting that in future DD1 can be sent home as a precaution if there are good reasons to suspect D&V but that if we follow the GP's checks and she does not have it they accept her back in.
• suggest (very nicely) that we review whatever the relevant policy is, as this seems to have thrown up a potential conflict between sensible medical caution and disability discrimination: we need a policy that covers both.

I'm calm now . Mind you, off to try and buy DD2 last-minute ballet uniform, so that's about to change in a hurry.

Marne - yes, get your point. [nods vigorously] But I'd say in that case someone at risk of chucking up in a food prep area would not be covered by DDA because their condition prevented them from doing that particular job properly.