would anyone with a child with adhd mind describing how it manifests itself in daily life?

[popsycal]

will returrn to explain moe fully when children are asleep

tia

anyone around

like a cat on a hot tin roof! thats what my friends daughter used to be like, she never got diagnosed, mum did try and when i saw her aged 17 a few years back she was the same. constantly moving, never sitting still, prone to outbursts of bad behaviour and terrible language. Lovely girl though, had to feel sorry for her because it certainly wasnt normal behaviour.

I also supported a lad with ADHD in school from aged 11 to 15 and he was quite different (although he was on meds some days), he would run away a lot, i mean out of school and id have to chase him, he couldnt concentrate on work, again constantly fidgeting (got him a fiddle toy), spaced out a lot of the time as well.He didnt have tantrums. His father reported that the lad would climb out of the window at night and go on the rampage around the village as he just couldnt control the impulse to be moving .

hopefully someone will come along who lives with an ADHD person and tell you more

My lo is 3.8 and has no formal diagnosis of adhd (paed says they won't diagnose until aged 5) but add/adhd has been suggested now by 3 different paeds!.

Basically he does not stop moving, ever! He cannot sit still, he will not sit to do table top activities at pre-school. At home mealtimes etc are a nightmare as he literally can't keep still. He fidgets constantly with anything and everything. When you watch him you feel that he 'needs' to move. In fact he has told me that he 'can't stop'

He also talks incessantly. (Not sure if this is typical with adhd though as it is suspected he has several overlapping developmental disorders). He talks rubbish mostly and mainly has one sided conversations but he never stops. I honestly could throttle him sometimes.

He is a sod to get to bed. Takes him ages to settle depite very calm regular routine. He is always talking to himself etc for ages before he settles although he thankfully does generally stay asleep when he's finally gone off.

He's very impulsive. Will run into the road etc, You can't go anywhere without hanging onto him (although I expect most boys his age are not that dissimilar). We very rarely take him out to meals or similar as you never get to enjoy being out as he just cant sit down.

I spend most of my time just feeling utterly done in.

Sorry meant to say he also has the attention span of a gnat. He will ask for a particualr toy/jgsaw and instantly want something else.
Today he asked for his robot (it's like mecaanno but for lo's) even as I'm tipping it out the box he was up and looking for something else, he can't concentrate on anything barring some tv programmes and I'm sure it's something to do with the moving picture as the cbeebies website is the only other thing he'll focus on. Even then he's constantly up and down.

Thanks brandy and willmum.

I am a teacher and have quite a bit of experience in dealing with pupils with ADHD in the mainstream setting but not as a parent.

Bit of background. DS1 is in Year 4. Won't be 9 until August. In top sets, fab reader, amazing memory, especially visual and spatial memory HOWEVER has dyspraxic traits (which seem odd considerin his crazy memory). Is never still. Teachers have described him as 'tigger'. Flips from one thing to another. Can maintain concentration with TV/ds/computer but not for other things. WOn't sit still to eat a meal. Talks incessantly even immediately as he wakes up. 'Monologues' himself through activities. Takes forever to do tasks - getting dressed in the more is a HUGE chore. Extended writing is difficult (in part due to dyspraxic tendencies but mainly he wont sit still and focus). Teacher says it looks like he is never listening but when challenged, he has been listening.

Becoming more and more impulsive: has drawn on a Christmas present of DS3;s but can;t explain why (do many 8 year olds still do this???), lashing out at ds2 and even DH. Flies of the handle at little things. Very tearful. LIes and 'uses his imagination'.

He can be very caring and loving and he is a great kid. BUT he never stops.

Sounds like you have enough concerns to warrant getting a referral to a paed for an assesment.

None of these conditions in your own kid is ever like what you thought they would be - no matter how many kids you've taught....

Sounds a little bit like my DS who hasnt got ADHD but has got dyspraxia and mild ASD (lots of comorbidities with these things). Talks incessantly esp when doing a task presumably to try and gian some focus. Needs to move to concentrate otherwise finds it nearly impossible (like your DS looks like he isnt listening at all!). Fwiw we have done reflex inhibition and that has done loads for this and calmed him down considerably but sometimes a good old bounce on the trampoline whilst reciting endless timetables seems to do the trick!
Think these things are difficult to exact;y pinpoint tbh as there is so much variation and comorbidities between various diagnoses...however ways of approaching problems are often remarkably similar so may be worth you seeing a developmental paed and/or OT
HTH

thanks!

He has been assessed for dyspraxia a year ago and found to have 'tendencies' but not dyspraxia. We have been doing stuff with him that has helped, especially with handwriting etc. I think it is becoming more noticeable now as he is approaching the age of the children that I teach and I am noticing a big difference. Also his younger brother, almost 6, is a LOT better at some of the things I mentioned below. I don't like tocompare them but it has been a useful point of reference.

His class teacher is SENCO and my sister works in an ASD unit. I feel confident that he does not have ASD - pretty much certain. However, there are certain things about him that make me worry that as he gets older, class mates will be less tolerant

Here goes ..... My ds2 is 7 with a dx of ADHD. Talks LOADS .. can wake up and chat the rear legs off a donkey before his eyes are open. Moves around a lot ie: from one end of the sofa to another, jogs on the spot around people, hands flying around, cannot play quietly even on the Wii/ds etc - always has a running commentry. Butts in and has no idea it's seen a rude. Demands attention and answers immediately. Can't stay seated during dinner or in the classroom. Has to be supervised to stay on task at school. Loves being centre of attention and is a real showman/comedian. He's enthusiastic/confident (less at school) even when he should be shattered. Is bright and very aware of his behaviour and how others see him (often says "I can't help it mum, I have a different brain". He can watch a movie at home or cinema from start to finish and not move. Play with contructions sets, sort out his match attax, read, ride a bike, play footy and rugby. He's favourite place is in the park, up a tree with a mate. We say "Calm down" and "Quiet down" A LOT !! He play fights all the time with older brother - loves rough and tumble. Eats loads and loves all food. Sleeps very well - who wouldn't after a day like that Generally winds people up cos he's a pain in the arse .. other than that we love him cos he's brilliant, unique, loving and 'smart'

My Dd1[22] was nearly dx'ed with ADHD when she was 9, we actually now think she may have AS alongside ADHD, this is how I used to describe her playing in the garden.

Kick the ball, down the slide, ride the bike, swing on the swing, kick the ball etc, All the time she would either be talking or singing and the top of her voice.

Sound familiar??

Oh yeah she did sleep, but tossed and turned all night, as a baby she used to wake up with her arms and legs out of her babygro.

Funnily enouh she said to me the other day that she thinks she's got ADHD.

Hi I have ADHD. Inattentive with a dash of impulsive, but no hyperactive. From what I can remember (ha!) at school:

Very compliant in theory but failing in practice. Labelled "lazy" at school: always appeared to be capable of doing the work "if I felt like it" - classic ADHD brain forcing switchoff when the subject isn't interesting. Would appear to daydream in class. Wouldn't do homework. Would mean to, would want to, but was literally incapable of forcing myself to do it. School reports dire. DIRE.

Advanced early reader (read Lord of the Rings aged 9) but huge problems writing: slight dyspraxishness and brain would not slow down for hand to catch up so by the time I was halfway through a sentence, I'd forgotten what it was.

No organisational skills. Constantly losing gym kit, forgetting to bring notes home. Teacher had to get other kids to pack my bag every day or I'd turn up to every lesson with the wrong books or no books at all. Compensated for poor memory by understanding everything: went into Physics O level with no equations (in those days you needed lots) and started the exam by deducing all the equations from first principles before reading the paper and applying them to the questions. Absolutely useless at anything that required any degree of rote learning: languages, for instance. OK at Latin because only translating from Latin to English, and you can make a fair guess at it if you have a good English vocab, which you do if you read that much as a kid. But useless at French. Good at English once I managed to write properly - good imagination is an ADHD trait. Couldn't learn my times tables and can't do mental arithmetic, but 2 Maths A-levels, both A grades. Thrown out of University 3 times.

Now? I can only remember things that are "meaningful" - at work would forget important project dates until I had got far enough into the project to associate the dates with something I was interested in. Complete inability to remember dates and times otherwise eg hospital appointments (it's not whether you care about it, alas, it's whether it is inherently interesting and hospital appointments aren't). Don't know my own mobile phone number. I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow, until I look at Outlook. Without Ritalin, I wouldn't know what I'd had for lunch. Will get sucked into things (emails, books) and become irrationally cross if interrupted. Unusually sensitive to noise "interruption". May start daydreaming halfway through a conversation, sentence even and just gaze into space. Dire timekeeping: poor sense of time and unaccountably find myself late when I made a huge effort to plan to arrive on time. Inability to do admin - it's grownup homework really, isn't it? Occasional flare-ups over things I'll take way too seriously.

Record number of umbrellas lost in one year: 16. Record number of times for microwaving the same cup of tea because it went cold before I remembered I had it: 12.

My DS was impulsive, didnt see consequences, still doesnt, very intelligent but no common sense whatsoever. Not particularly hyper after the toddler stage. Could concentrate for hours on what interested him, but no attention span if not! Wanted to do the 'right' thing but always ended up forgetting! Apart from to DD he didnt go in for hitting other children (DD was a sibling jeolousy thing) Untidy, would sleep in clothes! could go on and on.

My DD1 was dx with ADHD at 6... if you remember the 'Taz' cartoon..well that was her..a literal whirlwind! Bright as can be but couldn't sit down long enough to do any work.. distracted everyone, and NEVER stopped talking.. at gunfire speed! She didn't sleep well at ALL.

She was quite stroppy 2-10 but never aggressive, thankfully and has always been very caring. She was on ritalin until she was 11 and then decided she wanted to try without:)

She's 19 this month.. and still totally ADHD!! She is mind blowingly untidy, struggles with directional coordination (tried to learn to drive but has given up for now!!) ...

BUT her fast mind has worked in her favour.. she wanted to be a doctor from age 4, and in September started Uni to study medicine.. She was able to concentrate on her A levels because she had a goal..and got straight A*/As..

Like R3dh3d she is very noise sensitive .

Her school reports were always 'entertaining'.. teachers loved her quick brain but even at A level, her chemistry teacher shut her in the stationary cupboard for 5 mins because he needed a break..

She still doesn't sleep..gets by on about 4 hours, but she figures that's not a bad thing when she is a junior doctor...

ADHD is hard to live with but can produce some amazing people..:)

Oh god this is ds1 to a T!!

My most use phrase/gesture is to turn down the volume! The incessant chatter and the VOLUME!!!! The moving. Constant moving. Loud, overly boisterous. Arms and legs everywhere.

I watched him today as we picked up ds2 from football. He ran ahead a little and stopped at the road (doesn't always) and spent the time waiting for me spinning and spinning then hopping and doing a mexican wave with his arms!!!

Thanks so so much for sharing your experiences with me. It has been immensely helpful

Singing! The singing! He sings before he opens his eyes. At volume. Despite being told repeatedly for years and years and years that he really should not be singing at 5:45 when he share a bed room with his brother and a small house with four other people!!!

Just wait til he's old enough to drink DD1 after a few with her mates is unbelievably loud.. and always has to wake up her sister at 2am to tell her about her night....

(I'm missing her HORRIBLY as she's just gone back to uni after Xmas..I have 4 children but it's so QUIET without her, although she skypes me every night!)

Oh gosh. I can actually imagine him doing that. He would probably wake EVERYONE though to 'share'!!

I think, though, I have kind of realised that I need to look into it a little more, don't I? Start the ball rolling with school/gp?

As well as most of what has been mentioned here, my DS sees things as black & white/ right or wrong. No grey areas. In Y5 he was asked to referee a football match at school and stopped the game because they "weren't playing properly". He had to be removed from the pitch

As a 5 yo he approached a gang of teens in the park and told them to pick up their litter (they did).

He is 21 now and still has to be told to turn his volume down when speaking, and reminded about "appropriate conversations".

ds1 does not really have the 'no grey area' thing. He is actually remarkably flexible.

Ok.
Where to begin?

If you really think your child is 'lively' beyond the realms of 'normal', the first thing you should do is talk with your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician. You don't have to take your son to the GP with you for this initial meet, although you've probably been through similar with his dyspraxia assessment. His traits need to be affecting him significantly in 2 or more environments, ie: home & school. The school will need to get involved with regards to 'form filling' for the assessments (if it gets that far). You don't need to make any referrals via school as it may take longer. However, if the school agree with you, they should already be making provisions for him in the classroom apart from co-ordination/fine motor skills stuff. If he is having difficulties at school, talk to his teacher/ SENCO and let them know what you think and plan to do