School a dead end socially for ds and me

[TotalChaos]

Ds is in yr two at a small school a mile away. He has language delay and asd traits but no dx, so seems young for his age.The parents are standoff ish, a lot have grown up in same area etc, so wary of outsiders. Ds seems happy but has only been ionvited to one party in 3 years, and one playdate. School is small and caring so dont want to move him but want to improve his social life. I have v few mum friends locally, the nightmare pre school sn years put paid to that. All i can think of is putting him on waiting list for scouts. Any advice anyone? Tia

Well you are always welcome to come down here for a visit. Or we can come and pester you. Realise it's not good for what your ds actually needs though, which is regular social contact.
Have you thought about beavers or Woodcraft folk for him, or do you think he wouldn't cope with them?

Why don't you invite other kids to your house for playdates rather then hoping he will be invited by others. Also I would make more effort with the other parents. I know you say they are standoffish but perhaps that is how you appear to them as well.

I am quite shy and quiet, but a few others have said the same, its not just me being negative, honestly, i made one good friend there a few years ago but she moved to scotland. The one person i am prepared to approach has a newborn so dont want to bother her.

Thanks v much bullet will email you

Sounds exactly like DS' school. I'm not a 'local' and they do not know my pedigree so I am highly suspect apparently. I am also a teacher in another local school, as is DH so they are even more wary.

I've given up worrying.

DS will do the social thing in his own time and I happen to think he's quite a nice kid despite his problems (ASD) so I'm not too bothered.

Spinkle, ds is v sociable and wants playdates, thats why i am feeling guilty. . .

Spinkle, ds is v sociable and wants playdates, thats why i am feeling guilty. . .

I'd invite the child of the mother with the newborn round to play - taking an older child away to play at yours would be no hassle for her

Thanks ladies am full of a cold but once am less germy will invite sib of newborn

thanks v much for sharing zzzzzzz interesting to talk to @someone in same boat. Are u in nw at all, my ds loves younger kids

What the others re: sibling of newborn

Plus beavers is a good idea.

My son is having assessments etc at the mo but they are ?ASD / ADHD. We have similar problems socially.

I have a secret weapon... rugby. Seriously they are very inclusive - my son isn't very good but I take him every week and he is very much part of the team. He loves it and so do I .

Defo try rugby - it's non contact until they 9/10yrs

thanks dayshift. think you are right about finding a sports activity, DS loves PE etc at school. want to avoid football as it's likely to be v. competitive round here.

Football is very competitive and if they aren't very good they will never get a touch on the ball.

Rugby are very different, completely different atmosphere.
Scallypants has been going since May and it's just paying dividends now and there are times I have had to MAKE him go but it really has been worth it.

Apparently basketball is supposed to be good too.

A minor miracle. I approached sibling dad who invited ds to play at theirs today! Sibling parents are nice but dont wait at gate as got another pick up

doris, basketball sounds safer and warmer! Any views on martial arts!

A judo fan here too.

Ds doesn't like being grabbed.. But is fine in judo with it :)

Also Tiakwondo( sp).. Ds enjoys that too and doesn't mix the two up :)