Blew a fuse with DS

[borderslass]

Don't know if its because of seeing his new Dr and going through everything with him, but it all got a bit to much this morning he wouldn't get up, wouldn't shower, was swearing at me [as usual] and becoming aggressive.
I am ashamed to say that I told him that if he ever hit me again he would be out he's now 5'10" and 11 stone and I'm frankly quite scared of him when he starts.
Came down and broke down in tears I was also close to looking up adult residential care placements, I know he's fine 90% of the time so I honestly don't know why I reacted like this.
Sorry just needed to put it down in black and white.

I think you were right to try to make him understand that it is unacceptable to hit you, whether he has sp needs or not it is never ok to hit your mother.

Don't beat yourself up, you can only take so much.

I can speak from experience as I actually did tell my Dd1 to find somewhere else to live, she has been very hard work all her life and eventually I snapped.

She doesn't have a dx but I believe she has an ASD, she lives independently but has needed quite a lot of support from all her family.

in that situation i think i'd have done the same to be honest!
as you say, this isnt your usual reaction so try not to be too hard on yourself, i find chocolate helps me destress!

Borderlass ( hugs)

Nothing constructive to say other than hugs!

I blew at the weekend, it happens! < glass of wine and lots of choccy>

it's really not funny when they are big ones.. I find ds2 scary when he starts and he's smaller than your ds .. But is my height and nearly my weight!

Feel for you- My ds is small at the moment (and it's hard enough),but I know there will come a time when he is as big as me.Make sure you take care of yourself..and hold on to that 90%

Thanks he really kicked off this morning and tonight tried to push me down the stairs, hitting me and attacking me with a chair.He became that aggressive that we had to call the police out they've managed to calm him down and are making a SW referral they've said it should push them to give us some help.But I feel I've let him down by getting them involved.

No you haven't let him down, he was going to seriously hurt you.

You are trying to support him and have been pushed to the limit and beyond.

FWIW, I think you did the right thing especially as the police managed to calm him down.

borderslass, the police really are the best people to call. tbh they're much more help than adult mental health or learning disabilities to most people

They did ask if we had family he could go to last night and we where brutally honest DH's mother and sister both live 2 streets away and don't want to know about us, they said to get in touch with SW which I was going to do but shes not in until Monday, I mentioned his new Dr had asked us to consider mood stabilising drugs and they seemed to think it could be the answer it scared the life out of me and when DH came in I had to go and sit in the car because I was in hysterics and 2 cars and a van came up which made me worse.DS had taken the lid off his model glue as well and said inhaling it was an way to kill himself he's not had thoughts like that since he was about 10 when he used to try to strangle himself with belts.He's not got it now and isn't getting it back unless under supervision.
They've said if it happens again just to call them.