What to do about DD, school and CAHMS?

[TheLogLady]

DD hates school. regularly refuses to go, hates it when she is there and insists she learns nothing.

School are shite and don't care because when she is there she isn't disruptive.

Cahms have referred her on and we're waiting for PADDAG assessment.

Had a meeting with a new school parent advice person last term who suggested going back to Cahms.

But because DD hates Cahms so much I haven't been able to bring myself to phone them and get her seen there again.

And now school advice person wants to know if I have been in touch with Cahms ad I feel like an utter failure, wet blanket, avoiding things for an easy life type.

So what should I do? Contact Cahms even though I know DD will go mental (again) and refuse to go and have masive tantrums and get all upset?

or not and bury my head again?

I suppose I could 'let DD decide' in that if she refuses to go to school I tell her I have to take her to Cahms. But DD doesn't do choices and decisions well and will freak at the very idea.

CAMHS could help you without having to see your daughter with your daughter, perhaps?

has she said why she hates it? i have exactly the same issue with my son who is in year 1. his attendance has been pretty bad because of hospital visits BUT its even worse from not wanting to go because he hates it, finds writing hard and says its too scarey (thats what he told a customer services assistant today in a shop)

Camhs are rubbish and ALWAYS mention parenting as my son doesnt show any behavioural problems at school, well not disruptive behaviour, however he has very bad concentration or doesnt concentrate at all and needs someone sitting on him to even get one word written.

Im sick of Camhs so told them i want nothing to do with them now and am getting my mum and my ex to write statements stating that my sons behaviour is also experienced in their houses, so if its down to parenting obviously we all needs lessons

Ive now spoken to the ed welfare officer, who also mentioned "parenting", god that word sickens me. she has told me to try and get my son in at least 1 hour a day and to arrange a part time timetable. I went in with him for half hour this morning and sat outside with him on a laptop,and will be going in again tomorow for half hour but in the classroom this time, god knows what will happen wednesday.

Perhaps try the education welfare officer, they arent anything to be scared of. i think my one appreciates that i made the first move in contacting her.x

what is a PADDAG assessment?

pervasive developmental disordes assessment group. I'm fairly sure she has aspergers.

She hates everything about school, the people, the noise, having to do stuff she doesn't want to, and is bored stupid the whole time.

she is very good at holding it all in until she gets home then lets out all her anxiety and frustration. she is also very very good at appearing 'normal' and if asked she says everything is fine (again, until she gets home).

yes, the 'parenting' pissed me off too. odd how DD1 is perfectly happy

We are stuck in a similar loop except that Dd3[8] doesn't generally refuse to go to school, she is not happy to go most days and often says she wants to stay at home but we haven't had many major tantrums since reception, I think she is just resigned to it.

We are just beginning the process with CAMHS but have been in the assessmnet process for nearly 2 years. I believe d3 has apergers too.

I don't know what to do about school either, Dd3 like your Dd hides her issues, keeps her head down and says shes ok. We get the fall out at home.

Do you keep a diary, I do, someone on here suggested it. I record all quirky behaviours/incidents and how I dealt with them. If you can show that you are consistant they may start to take you more seriously.

Have you had any other assessnents? Dd3 has had SALT which showed up a social communication problem and OT which showed up floppy joints and low muscle tone and visual perception issues, all af which are often found in children whith an ASD.

If it were me I would contact CAMHS again and see if they have any suggestions. Dd3 hates going to appointments and we had the OT assessment at home to lower the stress levels.

Sorry this is so long, trying to get some ideas down.

Good luck .

thanks.

maybe i'll phone and see what they suggest.

D is having a 'good' phase at the mo but i know only too well that it won't last.

diary also good idea.