Working and having a SN child

[henryhsmum]

Hi

My DS aged 5 has autism and goes to a specialist school (started school Sep).

I had been having a lot of problems with work in terms of them not being understanding about me needing to go to DS's appointments etc. My job was quite responsible and well paid and wasn't really a walk in/out the office type job but I was trying to do it in that way due to stress about DS and numerous other issues. Basically I lost confidence in my own abiilites. Added to this I had some problems with nurseries as most wouldn't accept DS's behaviour e.g. throwing toys etc but not violent to other children. one nursery basically askjed him to leave and others had qualms over having him in holiday club.

So in July 2010, I took voluntary redundnacy as I had basically had enough and was at breaking point. I am now finding I miss work and the social interaction with other adults but I am struggling to see how I can balance a job with DS.

For me, there seem to be 3 main issues:

1. Finding childcare that will take DS and impact being in before/after school care may have on DS
2. I would only really want to work part time but almost all jobs that come up in my field are full time (and very few come up at the moment)
3. I am willing to take a big cut/career change but how do I convince an employer that I am willing to drop from £30k to circa £10k???

I was wondering how the rest of you with special needs children balance work and caring for DCs. Do you work/what childcare do you use? If you don't work or gave up a career due to kids how have you adjusted to this?

Sorry for longish post, this is really starting to get me down now as I feel unfulfilled on a personal level.

BTW I don't have any family locally to help and a nanny is not an option as not financially viable

I work full time (ish - I am a teacher, which isn't full-time in terms of hours in the workplace, though I do have a lot to do in evenings and holidays, but at least I can do it at home).

I manage it by trying to make all my son's appointments after school or in holidays - not always possible but very often it is - and I use a private nanny to pick him up after school and bring him home to our house for an hour.

It works for me. My childcare costs are about £100 per week at the moment, but worth it as he is safe and happy which he would not be at an after-school club.

Up until may I was working in a wonderful job and had very understanding boss. However their understanding only goes so far and I finally felt unable to do it anylonger. I miss work but I know it's not forever. Where are you? Maybe someone here knows good childchild near you.
Just take a few months out to let things settle, hope that helps.

If you're willing to take a pay cut and a career change I think you have lots of options. For example could you become a teaching assistant? Could you do temp work? Could you work as a waitress in the evenings?

I think it's very important to work and have a life outside caring for the kids if it is at all possible, so keep thinking creatively about what kind of a job you could do.

Alternatively could you throw yourself into something adult but non paid while your son is at work? The PTA? Working at a charity shop? Drama class?

I don't know. But there's got to be something.

Is what you do something that you could go for on your own and work self employed from home?

I do this and it works well as I can arrange client meetings around ds's appointments and meetings.. And the majority of the time if school calls I can get to him asap!

Also takes care of the childcare side of things

only down side is I do a lot of work around the dc's needs and can up working very silly hours!

Hi

Thanks for all the ideas, it has encouraged me that taking VR hasn;t totally ended my career prospects

I am in Shropshire, between Shrewsbury and Oswestry. In our village there is no childcare and the school does no before/after school clubs.

I am seriously considering teaching assistant, I have a degree so could do PGCE in future but don't think I can cope with the stress and commitment of training to be a teacher at the moment! I was going to open a boarding cattery as it seemed good on the face of it, in that it is home based and I love cats but it is a 24/7 responsibility and a large finanacial outlay which I can't really cope with given my son's needs.

I do have a tendency to jump into new things and I am trying to stop myself and think this time!