She doesn't like me, am I being sensitive?

[manc1]

My daughter has cp aged nearly 4, due to a change in circumstances I have become the main earner and work fulltime. My daughter does go to mainstream school and believe me I know how hard it is, tac, senco,statementing. Why I thought it would possibly get any easier I don't know.
She actually states that she doesn't like me and my husband desperately tries to get her to be a bit more affectionate to me but it feels forced. Tonight for about the 20th time I have walked away and left him to it. I know kids can be mainipulative at a v. early age but she is incredible. He has become the disciplinarian, I do the fun stuff always involve her, play with other kids, take her to paties and she seems pretty settled when it's just me and her, then as soon as he's about I am blanked. I know most kids favour one parent over the other but I am completely left out and feel v. down about the whole thing. Whilst I am ok to do the cleaning, wiping up crap and juggling a million appts any of the good stuff passes me by. Am I going mad? Is anyone else in this position? Have no friends with cp kids. Just work, work and crap if not interupted by hosp appts. Please give me some sanity!

I fear its 4 yr old thing. sorry.

AFAIK, like UniS said it's a four year old thing. I'm sure I read a thread like this somewhere else on the site, would it be worth you looking in Behaviour/Development etc? It's quite possibly kid behaviour rather than SN behaviour, iyswim?

My little boy is similar but not quite. He doesn't have CP but lots of other things going on.

If I want a cuddle with him I need to do it in the morning. Evening on the sofa is Daddy time, unless he's really not feeling great in which case he will want me.

It does hurt though when we do all the crap stuff in order to make sure they are well etc etc and then we are 'cast aside'.

For Luuk I think it is more about routine tbh and try not to let it get to me. Not always successful though. Not ASD but does have some traits

Hugs

manc1, how horrid. You are being sensitive but name me any mother who wouldn't be sensitive in your shoes. I'm sure the 4y old girl thing is contributing, but dc also do try to play one parent off against the other. Plus the more they're pressurised to act affectionate / eat their greens/ hurry up etc, the more opposite their behaviour.

Add in a disability, mum who has to work full-time, the usual trials of adjusting to a family life with unexpected challenges, school problems, no support for parents.... no answers I'm afraid, but you're definitely not going mad to be upset. I suspect if you post in behaviour there'll be dozens of posts saying 'mine was the same at 4 but things are fine now', and I hope you get some better tips than I can give.

Thanks all-did take advice and had a look at threads in behaviours etc. u were all right loads of similar problems and some nightmare kids out there. Have realised she is finding her personality somewhat and hopefully this will settle. I have only used mumsnet twice in 4 years but both times just having people knowing what u going through seems to put my mind at rest. Thanks to all-feel better able to cope.