Returning to work, my rights re appointments etc.

[rebl]

OK, not exactly SN but is iykim cos I'm sure some of you know the answers because your already doing it. I'm desperate to go back to some kind of work, not what I did before though. I left work after returning having had dtwins but finding it impossible to meet the job demands, the bosses demands and my ds's medical needs. I was badly treated and the union were backing me for unfair dismissal but then ds was taken seriously ill and I decided not to go to tribunal and just dropped it all.

4 years on and I want to work again. I've looked at ds's and dd's appointments and there has never been an appointment on a Friday, rarely on a Monday. But Tues / Wed / Thur all often have appointments on them but never more than 1 a week. So I was thinking could I say I can work Mondays and Fridays but I would like the 3rd day to be flexible between Tues, Wed and Thurs depending on the appointments?

Also, what is the legal position in terms of time off when children are ill? This was the major problem at where I used to work. DS was fighting for his life in hospital for 2 weeks and I was refused leave from work (both paid and unpaid and I also asked for parental leave and it was refused). My understanding at the time was that they were in the wrong but I was very emotionally fragile and my mind was very much with ds so I might have misunderstood.

I so desperatly want to work again and I'm starting with something unskilled just to break myself in again and get used to working but I do eventually want to retrain (something like portage worker or sen ta) and have more of a career. But I'm so scared of ending up with the same problems as before. I know that my last employer was wrong but its knocked my confidence.

I think your best bet would be do to a fair bit of research into the potential employers first - some boast of being family friendly employers (seethis list which might be a bit out of date). My guess is that you're looking for large corporations or small family firms - it's the ones in between which might be less than flexible.

This is a useful charity with advice etc re flexible working

Good luck!

Thank you Hassled. I'll have a look at those.

I have applied for a cleaner job in a local school which is obviously outside normal working hours which I was hoping would make it easier for me anyway but I was looking at other jobs and obviously the majority are in normal working hours which is where I I start worrying about what I do if ds is ill or appointments etc.

You are allowed time off under Dependant Leave

IndigoBell Thank you. That is really helpfull.

I am really shocked at your old employer's attitude. If your child is ill and fighting for his life you are entitled to unpaid time off to deal with the crisis. Regarding appointments once you have worked in a job for a year you are also entitled to parental leave and if you have a disabled child you are entitled to take that leave one day at a time rather than by blocks of one week for parents of normal children. Well worth looking into all the legislation. I tried to go back to my old job after my maternity leave but we couldn't agree on the number of days.I found another job where I have been for almost 5 years, where they give me a lot of flexibility. I move my days around according to my DS appointments and it works. I never take advantage of the flexibility and am flexible for them as well. It is a very small business so there is no issues around policies and what other people thing. As long as the job gets done, my boss is happy. Just wanted to reassure you that there are options out there!

I am just coming to the end of a fixed-term contract, where my boss has let me be flexible for appointments, but I have also been very flexible for them when I can - working extra hours and changing days to suit them. I think it has to work both ways, but they are supposed to be reasonable if we have disabled children - your old employer sounds completely out of line, but I expect there are plenty of others like that out there.

My contract is being extended provisionally and I will be working for a different boss - who is much less flexible and has already made a big issue of the appointments and problems with illness. So I am worried about whether I'll be able to meet her high standards and also be there for dd. At least we have discussed it before we start.

I think you should lay your cards out on the table at the start, so everyone knows where they stand before you begin. Your proposal sounds quite reasonable to me!

izzie and mole thank you. My old employer was horrendous, I know that now. I didn't know I could have parental leave a day at a time with a disabled child. I will do as you say and lay the cards on the table from the beginning.