mainstream school accepting non potty trained child into reception?

[mintyneb]

I'm hoping this might be the right place to post this question. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be too long!

My 3.9yo DD has cystic fibrosis and is due to start reception in September 2011. She is fortunately a very healthy girl chestwise but suffers badly with her digestion and even had to spend 8 weeks in hospital at birth following surgery to remove part of her bowel.

As a result of the CF she suffers particularly badly with constipation. After a fairly succesful start at potty training 14 months ago she hit a period of constipation and hasn't pooed in the toilet since despite all variety of encouragement from us. She will wear knickers all day and go to the loo for wees but asks to have a nappy on to do a poo which of course means she then has to be changed.

Anyone I've spoken to from the medical profession says that she is obviously not ready to be fully toilet trained and that i shouldn't put any pressure on DD to use the loo before starting school as that could cause more problems. I should just keep gently working on it but she will get there in her own time. But who knows how long it will take?

So my question really is what is the general position regarding mainstream schools taking on children effectively still in nappies? Is there likely to be anyone in the school prepared to change her or would they expect me to come in (I'm a SAHM)?

Also, if she does finally manage to do her poos on the toilet before September but hasn't yet managed the art of wiping her bottom properly by herself, will she be left to sit in dirty knickers all day?

the school we want her to go to know she has CF and I have met with the head teacher to discuss her condition. however, I haven't as yet talked about toilet training as I have always hoped that she would be OK by the time she gets to school

My DD2 started school in nappies and only came out of them this summer, at the end of Year 1 (she still has occasional accidents due to her problems).

As she has a statement and her incontinence is "medical" there was never any problem about her being in nappies.

I would try and make an appointment to discuss all her issues once her place has been confirmed at that school. Will she have a statement?

Sorry should have clarified she's at mainstream school (with 1-1 support).

Our experience is a bit different as dd has learning disability so she has a one to one Teaching Assistant assigned to her in her mainstream setting - she's in reception. They are absolutely fine with changing dd's nappy if needs changing.. but if your dd doesn't have a helper with her then maybe it would be the T.A in the class she's in or in our school there's a ' welfare specialist T.A' who helps some of the kids who haven't quite got all the toileting skills in place so to speak! So maybe someone like that?

Probably the school will be able to reassure you. They'll need to consider who they will assign for this task and it would be worth trying to ensure that there's continuity in this so that your dd can build up trust with the staff involved and it can be dealt with sensitively and so that the routine can be normalised and not stigmatised in anyway for her. Also if the same people do it they can be kept fully involved with where your dd is at in terms of any progress and make sure that is implemented in school too.. Good luck!

sidge, DD won't have a statement before she starts school although it may be something they might want to look into once she's there. I don't know.

DJ, your school seems to have a good set up in place so hopefully we will have something similar.

Although the toilet training issue isn't specifically a result of DD having CF it certainly hasn't been helped by a bowel/digestive system that doesn't work properly so it may be the school will look more sympathetically at us.

Of course, once the toileting is cracked DD will still have to cope with the fact that CF poos can be huge and extremely foul smelling (due to the fact that she is unable to absorb and digest all the food she eats)and I am so worried that she will get known as the girl you don't want to follow into the loo after :-(

As long as it has been discussed the school probably won't mind. Bear in mind it will take two members of staff to change her as staff are not allowed to be 1-1 with children in this situation. My DS couldn't wipe his bum until recently and had to be helped with this. I made school aware and they were fine about it. He does have the occasional accident still.

My DDs 1-1 changes her alone, it may vary between schools depending on their policy.

They have a disabled toilet with a changing table etc, the other children don't use it so if they have the same at your intended school smells may not be a big problem

I think as long as it's all discussed prior to her starting it shouldn't be a problem.

minty

Dd smells are something that you wouldgive credit to a teenage boy for.Butsince she has 3 brothers anyone says to her you stunk the bathroom out shes like and so thats what it is for.DD is coming up 8 looks very delicate but she is not .

Dds2(13) has crohns and oh boy you really do not want to go in after him or be anywhere near him (thats a vomit emote).School have been good and he can use the disabled toilet and at home no one goes in afte rhim he has learnt to open window

Ds3 is sort of toilet trained but he does have accidents and they just help clean him up its not made a big thing of and the other dc in the speech unit just accept tahts Ds

i have been having a break from the pc over new year but just wanted to come back to the thread and thank you for your replies.

as many of you have said, as long as the school is aware of her condition beforehand then hopefully she should be OK. I hadn't thought about her using the disabled loos so that might be something to discuss with them

thanks again