Wendi, urk re what happened with dh 
Just from what I read and my own experiences, The social friendship thing can take years and years for us to get even half way right. And it's very very important.
I truly had no clue at all until I was in my late teens/early 20s, and then I could only handle conversations with 1-2 people at most at a time, so social events were just about impossible for me. I was the silent child at school with the major stims and utter obsessions (what other child spends two solid years of their life at early secondary school creating statistics on weather and horse breeds, 18 hrs a day if allowed to?). School used to hit me if I stimmed, and the pain was so bad (sensory sensitivities)... so I learned to keep them invisible and sit real still.
(Our brains apparently re-uses the maths-rules bit of the brain to talk with people, instead of the people-centre bit of the brain. It's why we need to know the rules for where we are and what will happen, they think, and why our natural social skills don't work - it can't get to that bit of the brain.)
I spent another 25 yrs improving basic friendship skills, so very very gradually. Still learning, still getting it wrong sometimes.
Was it all worth it? Yup, but I could have done with some assistance, because there were too many times when I just wanted it to stop. Sometimes there still are, but now it's because I take on too much without thinking it through, and try too hard to communicate without the skills to handle big group discussions properly.
Even on something like this thread I've no clue who people are,
and can't hold onto what more than one person has said at a time. If I go back and re-read, the info from the other person falls out of my brain instead. It's literally "one at a time!". (tip - I keep praying that no-one realises and that I don't mess up too badly each time). And I often can't remember who already knows what or who needs to know what. It's why I never work alone on things.
The 'lucky things' were having a very very structured school (primary and secondary), learning about computers so I could make a living doing something I can do, and finding the books on human behaviour so I could interpret the stuff a bit. And having no memory for "this is too hard", so trying and trying and trying to get things right.
I now have a social care team who are very practical with me and have learned to order me about if I'm being silly (which I need). 
(The hardest and maybe scariest work is getting up every morning with a brain that can't remember who's a friend...and re-teaching it every day, (mine is especially rude about this stuff as I'm also faceblind). I have a list of who my friends are and a bit about them, so I can work through it and remind myself. I care very much about them, but can't find the info on them without re-training my brain each day, if that makes sense...)
What would have helped me, if I'd been diagnosed earlier? Social skills training (specialised for autism), and really good anti-bullying stuff. And a society that understands difference and disability and manages to think "OK, how do we support this family and this child, because this is a child with much to offer the world if we can help them do so" rather than "how much money can we save this week by not bothering to help them at all?" 