Need to talk.. Long post -get a cuppa....

[Praline]

DS is 6, has been to seen one doc as I felt there was something about him, I felt it was dyspraxia, anyways this doc was nice focused on the physical (telling me he was hypermobile) and that was it. He SENCO has mentioned dyspraxic tendancies, and he gets lot of extra help at school, with his reading writing etc. He could play most wii games, but struggles to write his name. He cannot entertain himself in anyway, he is always beside me, and always touching, rubbing my arm or looking for 'cold arm' even if I am washing up, he is there with his arm up my sleeve. DD who is 3 can play on her own for hours. He is always asking what to do, what can I do, will you play with me, will you do this. As soon as I sit down he is on my lap, the week before Xmas he had really bad flu, which he is now mostly over, but it was hard work, as dd was stuck at home with me too, now we are still indoors a lot as weather is grim & it makes him cough a lot. I am going to go insanse if I dont get a break, really mad, I am starting on the Xmas spirit earlier in the evening, when I am cooking their dinner etc just for a little respite. I have even had to stop myself screaming 'why cant you be normal' at him, when he is spinning round the aisles at Waitrose. I dont mean it, and wouldnt say it to him, but I do think it. When DH is off on saturday I go to work, which is a break, then I feel guilty leaving him, as no one really 'gets' him, and they get angry when he trips over his own feet, or knocks his drink over, or cannot manage to wipe his own bum. Not sure what I expect anyone to say, just wanted to say it 'out loud'

I can listen and sympathise if that's any good to you? Sorry I can't do more!

My ds is clumsy, likes spinning around or literally bouncing off the walls when he's not clung to me (he's 6 too). I really get the needing time out and then feeling bad that no one else 'gets him' too, as I feel exactly the same when ds goes to his dads.

Just wanted to say I get it really.

Thanks, thats all I needed really. :-)

I'm fed of saying:
'be careful'
'get off the ice'
'you need changing again'
'yes that's very nice ds'

Are you happy with his current dx or are there still things niggling you would like checked out?

{{{{{hug}}}}} passes tea and s

You could be describing my ds1. I'm trying to write and assignment due next week and he's at my elbow every few minutes.... he's very tactile too and much as i love cuddling my children there are times i want to scream as he can't communicate with me without touching me 90% of the time.

he's been referred for assessment by OT but he's not been seen by anyone yet. He's driving his teacher to distraction too as he can't sit still, can't focus and takes an hour to do what the other children do in 5 minutes.

My dad told me he was 'a weird kid' on Christmas night

Dp gets angry at him too... so do i but I try and remember he can't help it but dp gets cross then and says i'm favouring him and letting him get away with stuff >

Thanks guys, trying to to get teary now. I am not really happy with the diagnosis & I am going back in the New Year for referral to a new doctor. I dont have family as such, but my inlaws who are a very middle class and 'lets sit & do puzzles' kind of people struggle to understand his behaviour when they buy him a lovely book, and he sort of discards it to jump about pointlessly. DH is very good but again doesnt understand why he is like is his.
On a positive, he has started Cranial Osteopathy,which I am keen on!

You said 'one doc' - did you mean a GP or a child development paedetrician? Because if he hasn't been seen by a pead he really needs to be.

I'll pass another cuppa over to you.. And help yourself from my green and blacks selection :)

I'm going to say to you yes yes yes ds2 is so very similar!
For ds he is constantly seeking sensory input.. Bouncing about rubbing objects and people , being upside down.. Seriously the works!.. And it's tiring just being near him!

What we have put in to help out is:
a wobble cushion
gymball
spacehopper ( yes indoors!)
a bag full of fiddle objects of lots of different textures and noises etc
all of our sofa cushions have different textures!
A hanging swing seat from ikea ( blooming brilliant thing!)

now none of this in the short term stopped the bouncing about thing.. But what it did do what sort of contain it a bit... Which made it more manageable!

And longer term.. He has needed to use these less often!

He bounces about extra if he is stressed or has had to deal with something stressful ( going to the supermarket).. And knowing that he can come home and just bounce is a great help to him!

I would go back to the gp and get a referal for a full assesment.. And list the things ds is doing.. Because it sounds like he is sensory seeking like my ds does.

Ds has ended up with a collection of different labels.. And we have been back and forth quite a bit.. When one area seems controlled to a point another area has shown up more!
He is pretty mild in a lot of different areas.. But combined it's a bit of a nightmare!

But having said all that if he wasn't a bouncey tigger crossed with desperate dan and a bit like hancock.. Then he just wouldn't be him :)

"as no one really 'gets' him, and they get angry when he trips over his own feet, or knocks his drink over, or cannot manage to wipe his own bum."

Sounds just like Dd3.. I feel I have to be around as much as poss because if I am not she struggles and gets into trouble through her constant string of disasters.

She too is hypermobile but doesn't yet have a Dx for the ever growing list of other issues.

Somedays she cant even sit on the sofa without falling off!! No joke honest.

Do you keep a diary of his quirks and issues if not I would recommend it, ours certainly helped to get the point across to the paed... eventually.

Indeed.. Ds fall off the sofa as well.. It's quite amaising!

He can be sat on the sofa and just fall off! Mad!

And yes keeps diary!

It worries me when she does the sofa thing because a friends Dd broke her arm really badly falling off the sofa and ended up having 2 ops!! Nasty
Although I do wonder if Dd3 being so floppy prevents her from breaking bones!!

Praline.. if your Ds has coordination issues your inlaws are probably wasting their time with puzzles.
Dd3 is v bright but completely unable to turn a puzzle piece round to make it fit, she simply can't see it.

Does your Ds have any playmobil? It can be played with, acting out real life senarios[sp] which don't require massive imagination skills.

ds1 is renowned for his ability to fall over whilst standing still doing nothing. It's amusing but also a tad worrying as my eldest broke her leg jumping off a low wall so i'm acutely aware of how easy it is to do serious damage.

He falls a hundred time a day yet has never done any serious damage thankfully.

ds1 is also a bit useless with puzzles although his fine motor skils are definitely improving, he can write and draw simple pictures now which a few months ago was still impossible for him. He is carrying around a lego boat/submerine which he claims he made himself but based on the fact that he can't even get the squares onto a lego dice i'm assuming dd and her friend had a helping hand

Indeed ... Ouch!

Don't know if ds being a tad bendy stops the bone breakage?.. We have had broken bones and teeth due to being seriously clumsy!

The paed actually giggled when we answered the how many A&E trips question!.. Not sure she was supposed to giggle tbh.. As I swear we need our own parking space at the hospital!
( and I'm always in shock when ss hasn't been called!)

btw, totally agree wrt to playmobil.... ds1 loves it and it's great for stimultaing their imagination and isn't too fiddly unlike some toys

Bizarrely ds1 is the only one of my three who is never at the hospital or the gp for anything. I swear he has a gaurdian angel because if you'd seen some of the falls he's had (off the top of the 6ft high slide, off the playhouse roof, off the bunk beds, down the stairs) we should have been camped out at a&e at this stage but he has a remarkable ability to only do minor damage.... lots of it, he's a walking bruise, but still minor compared to stitches and broken bones.

Sympathy here, DS1 is full on Dyspraxic and I know exactly where you are coming from. The bouncing, the need for stimulation and constant attention. I have shouted 'Can't you just be normal' at him in the last 6 months . I've also had to make sure I shouted it at his (NT) brothers within his hearing so he doesn't feel it's just him I was saying it to! For me I think it's his constant deep monotone voice going on, and on, and on. I feel horrible saying it but after a while having a running commentary with random asides get intensely irritating. I love him dearly and in some ways he can be a lot easier to parent, but being full on 'the one' to him can be exhausting. (is it just me but boys like him do have a tendency to 'the one' don't they. He doesn't follow DH around trying to stick his hand up his jumper!?)

My ds isnt as clingy but can be a bit of a whirlwind at times, i identify with what u say about in laws, mine are the same. Agree with other posters about getting a paed referral and in meantime look into sensory issues. We still have a small indoor trampoline for ds to bounce off energy.

Sounds just like my ds 6, who has ASD and Dyspraxia. At the moment he is super clingy and is even sleeping in our bed at the moment, we keep getting him out but he sneaks back in, in the middle of the night.

We are constantly dealing with him bouncing around or being super clingy, so I can empathise, it's bloody hard work isn't it? Despite that I wouldn't change him for the world.

One thing we have found really useful for ds is a trampoline as he could bounce around for hours on it. I have heard you can get small fold up ones for the living room, which may be suitable.

Lostinwales.. Don't know if the clingy thing is more common with boys but Dd3 used to spend huge amounts of time with her head up my jumper, I thought it was a sensory thing, a way of shutting out the world.

She doesn't do it anymore thank goodness she is 8 but the size of a 10 yr old. Although secretly I think she would like to sometimes..

Both my boys are definitely latched on to me in a big way, ds1 probably because i get him more and he gets an easier time from me so feels a bit more secure around me and ds2 is orally dyspraxic and non verbal other than his one and only word that he learned two weeks ago 'Mama'.....

I've got a clingy one too (ASD, 6) and super bouncy. We bought him a rebounder (Argos) which we keep in the living room for all his bouncing requirements. (One big one outside also)

He clambers all the time too. Never still. Clambers over the sofas, people, beds, cushions, the lot.

We're used to it but visitors can find it alarming to have him pinging around the room. He likes to put his head up my jumper too (but not for long as he's off again...)

Does he sound like he has a sensory processing disorder? Not the hyper stimulated, need to get away from the noise, sensation, touch type, but the hypo stimulated type. Hence the need to twirl in waitrose, touch mummy endlessly and jump about thereby stimulate himself sensorily? He also certainly sounds dyspraxic too. I would look into sensory processing disorder I believe there are treatments.

This has been great guys, thank you all so much, I have a lot to look into. It is lucky I work in Waitrose so are used to the spinning boy!