Social worker - do we need one?

[1980Sport]

Hi - could anyone advise me on the benefits of having a social worker involved? I recently had a visit from a new HV for ds2 (16 week assessment) while she was there she said she'd do 2 year assessment on ds1 - I quickly told her about what was happening with his development and the tests he was having - so she asked me if she could do a social services referral for us as a social worker might be able to help - I said yes as we'd missed out on a year of DLA because I didn't know about it and thought a social worker might help us access whatever support might be available.

Anyway - I read a worrying thread on AIBU where nearly everyone seems to have had a bad experience with social services and now I'm beginning to think we'd be better without them? Was hoping for a more balanced view!?

TIA

Both my children have autism. we don't have a social worker and never have had. Don't need one.

There's nothing they can do for you that you can't sort out directly.

depends on what you need - we needed respite-first S.W was pretty useless.second was patronising,3rd was bril and has got funding etc sorted- We haven't 'got' a social worker as such,it was just to help us access funding- If you have no need, you won't get one anyway

TBH, if you want anything from a social worker they will want to explore every avenue before they allow anything to come out of their budget.

If you want respite, you will have to explain why you can't afford it yourself, why your parents, brothers, neighbours, friends can't do it for you, what your DLA is being spent on and why your DP can't use his unpaid leave etc.

They will offer to do things like write a letter to your DP's employer to get him extra time off, send you details of local toddler groups, support groups, write supporting letters to any charities that you ask for funding from, but unless you are going to have a crisis in the next financial budgetary year, you will find it very difficult indeed to get anything directly out of their pot.

If you get demanding about 'their pot', they can get nasty.

Hope that gives you a brief idea. It can be helpful to have a contact in SS, but be careful about presenting needs that they worry might lead to them parting with cash. They will get quite determined to prove that you are either greedy, lying, needing support from another service i.e if you're not coping because of the stress they might send you to your GP for conselling/pills rather than provide a carer etc.

Our SW is OK. Organised respite pretty quickly and also bought some equipment for my son from SS budget without quibble. We had to debate rise in respite hours for holidays at one point but the budget pressures drove that, I guess. I have had no problems caused by having a SW for my son, only good things.

We've had 3 lovely social workers and 1 ok one. I'd say go for it - they can't wave a magic wand but they can give you support and add a bit of professional weight when it's needed.

I know people on here have had very negative experiences, but as a SW myself, and working with lots more I do feel a bit fed up about the premise that 'they' are all like this, will try to say you are lying, will say it is all your fault, etc etc, just like any profession there is a mix, and yes just like all the services there is naff all funding, but the ones i have known do also sometimes know about other funding sources, local bits of money, that might help, can also provide access to 'closed' by referral groups and services,

Not a magic wand, but, in some cases, a useful resource. Worth a try.

hmm ds has a sw from childrens with disablity team and im on the fence with it all atm .But it came about as ds will need help to attend summer playschemes , cbs etc and that is only available with sw input

10 A child is defined as being a child in need if:

?They are unlikely to achieve or maintain, or have the opportunity of achieving, or maintaining, a reasonable standard of health or development without the provision for them of services by a Local Authority
or

?Their health or development is likely to be significantly impaired or further impaired, without the provision of such services
or

?They are disabled. (Sec. 17/10) Children Act 1989)

ds falls under the disabled child in need though we are yet to see any benefit from it and yes i do hate the fact that everyone has a say in how i school raise my child and the meetings are very hard to sit through and ye si do cry and pijnt out that he is my ds and i know him best .

But realstically as ds gets older he will need the input of others to get a s much independence as possiable

the Sw who has come out to us has helped with access to DP/respite/summer schemes etc - he is also processing a referral for behaviour support. So to date I have found him supportive and helpful and I know there are resources we can't access without his referral so he is a gateway in that sense - positive experiences for us.

I never wanted a social worker but the CHAD SW was brilliant even if I just needed someone to talk to she was there, we're now with the adult team and hoping she's going to be just as good she even phoned me christmas eve to wish me happy christmas.

we have always had good experiences with the SW department, all have been nice people doing a tough job with limited resources.
here we cant seem to get Direct Payments very easily but i have equipment coming out of my ears and have also had a ramp built at the back door, wetroom conversion, hoists, driveway extended, gates widened, none of which would have been possible without SW input...or a lottery win!

Hi everyone - thanks for all your responses! It's such a shame that so many families have bad experiences but I suppose it's the same with every profession the world over! I think I'll let the referral go on through and see what happens! It's really early days for us and with no dx the future is so uncertain but I'd like to know a much as possible about what support may be available and how to access it should we need it at a later date! Thanks again!

DS2's SW is lovely, very understanding and has helped us loads. She helped us get a house, arranged respite for us and is also on top of all the benefits/forms that DS2 is entitled to.

Gosh sign I thought I was being EXTREMELY measured and fair in my post. Sorry.

I wonder though, like many professional teachers and SLT that have children that require the services of SLTs and teachers etc. that the service you think you are delivering doesn't equate to the service you subsequently have experience of receiving?

Hi star I think it was the bit that went 'They will get quite determined to prove that you are either greedy, lying, needing support from another service' that probably got to me.....

If I was the OP's SW and someone told her that I would definitely be doing that... .

No, the service I have recieved has not (at times) been the service I give, and I have been very vocal about that! (but I did say "just like any profession there is a mix")

I am honestly unsure about what you meant by the service 'I think I was delivering', do you mean I have been deluding myself? I believe you have a consultancy/advisory role in RL, I don't believe we have had any RL contact.... but if there is anything about the way I have worked that you could feedback to allow me to improve I would appreciate that very much. I would like to be clear i am not defending 'the system' only my own practice and ways of working

As far as the service I gave, I have been a service user, and/or carer in different senarios over a number of years many of which before I was working as a SW and I have aimed to include those experiences in my practice. I am always learning and hope to always continue...

Now it is true that I only have the responses/feedback from the people I worked with, and although we review each year and ask people to look at the support we give and what people would like to be done differently, I do recognise the power differential that means people may not give honest feedback, and lots of work needs to be done on that. That is part of the reason why I am now involved in SW training, to try and improve/develop a profession that i still feel a passion for, and commitment to.

We had an ok experience but that said we were awarded only 2 hours a week of direct payments.

We had a new guy and he seemed keen to help. We have no family locally and said we wanted to spend family time with our non SN children doing more typical things eg a bike ride which DS3 cannot tolerate and helping with homework - so we get 2 hours a week when someone looks after DS (actually we usually pay ourselves to make it up to 3) and we go off to the cinema etc. Initially it was 4 hours a week and then by the next visit it had been downgraded to 2, but tbh we were tied up fighting for a statement we didn't have the energy to argue. I think it helps to be 'on the books' as once DS is 5 he will be able to go to summer schemes etc (there is no childcare for under 5's) and so for us it has been a small positive - no negatives (we're on our 3rd SW and all have been nice) - but we were happy to settle at that time for something very modest. I anticipate once DS reaches the age where there are more services available it will be a useful gateway.

TBH even 2 hours a week babysitting can be a help when you have two very dependant children. If you are not bothered I would give it a go, if its a hassle you can always halt the process. It should be a referral to the Disabled Childrens Team and for your child but also you as a carer. Look at Contact a Family website for the details.

The Coalition were saying all carers should get at least 1 week short break per year so whilst that may not materialise its worth a shot.

Also if you may need adaptations it helps to have a social worker.

I'm not going into specifics but my DS (3.7) is autistic and we have been asked by HV if we would like a referral to SS.

We politely declined and it has been fine. We are very relieved about that having read the experiences of some of the posters on this thread and on this board in particular.

sign, I think I mean that what LA employees seem to believe is happening, what they have meetings about, write policies about, get funding for etc. is believed by most of them to be happening, but down on the ground, at the delivery end, the clients just aren't receiving.

Ed Balls said to me on this website when I gave some details about my particular scenario and how my dd is missing out because of ds' needs 'Well, good news, we have released aiming higher money for respite for people just like you for this purpose. Why not apply to your council?'

I was, at that time locked in battle with SS who told me if I wanted respite my DH shouldn't work in the summer holidays and that there was no funding for me to spend time with dd.

I also mean that a lot of 'support' seems to be up to the social worker, rather than any real criteria, and the social worker's predjudices. I have no doubt that the majority are doing their best to head the support where it is needed and manage both their workload and their resources, and they HAVE to believe that they are doing the best that they can with what they have. But a lot of times parents are left completely dumbfounded about why some support that they are desperate for is being denied on a whim. It can get nasty then.

I do get a bit sick of this tendency to label all professionals one way, tbh. There is a vile thread on AIBU atm about social workers where 'they' are likened to Nazis.

You can't generalise about an entire profession (except perhaps traffic wardens ) and teachers get this all the time too on MN - sweeping generalisations based on one person's experience. If you got a crap dentist who had bad breath, you wouldn't say that all dentists have bad breath, but there is a tendency (and you kinda did it too, on this thread, Star ) to label all people in one profession one way, which is bizarre and unfair.

You must have good qualities to go into social work. It's not exactly lucrative and whatever you do, you're fucked. I agree there will be crap ones but there are also good ones and I think we should remember that our experiences are only our experiences, so we don't scare people by making sweeping statements that are quite possibly only true for us or in some cases.

Of course, we can always generalise about councils who are generally, with few exceptions, penny-pinching, lying gits.

Yes I know giveme. Sometimes it is just hard to get past the bitterness.

The funny thing is though that I used to work closely with social workers in children's services. I was in awe of them and thought they were talented and ace.

But when I think of my social worker, the one that was supposed to help us, her boss and her team I somehow just don't equate them to the ones I worked with. It's like a different planet or something.

I can't work out whether they are the same, fab to work with, dire to receive a service from, or whether they are two distinct 'types'. I think that is what I was getting at wrt to the difference between delivery and recieved iyswim.

Also whilst you shouldn't generalise, our brains are designed to. For example, if I were to ask you what do chairs looked like, you'd probably say 4 legs, wooden. That doesn't mean there aren't millions out there that aren't, maybe even more than are.

Oh I dunno what I'm getting at. Probably trying very badly to apologise.

So, sorry!

Hi givemesleep - it was that vile thread that made me ask the question as I was sure there would be people out there who had positive experiences but I must admit it did make me think twice about inviting social services into our lives!

Agnes - I'd never even thought about respite but with ds2 it might be something we might need in the future as g'parents are already beginning to struggle with ds1 in terms of lifting etc!

As I said before I'd just like to know what support might be available IF we do need it rather than get to the stage that we really do need it and only start the process then if that makes sense!

Thank you to the other posters for sharing your experiences!

Sign - remember is asked your advice on signing? Must share a funny story with you sometime, maybe pm you if that's ok??

My experience of SW's has been similar to starlight's. DS2's sw was extremely patronising and obviously didn't live in the real world as she expected me to leave my mildy autistic toddler and my hypermobile, high maintenance baby with DH's elderly grandparents on a regular basis. She also said that DH should take time of work to transport us to the dc's appointments (which at the time were about 3-4 a week).

I found the volunteer befriender from barnardos far more helpful with helping me find out about what support we were entitled to etc.

If you do decide you want a social worker, do you know any other mums locally who are getting support from social services? They might be able to tell you what support is available and which sw are good and which ones to avoid.