DCD and puberty

[yanny]

Dd age 10 started her first period on Christmas Eve. She woke me hysterically crying in the early hours of the morning having soaked through her pjs and bedding.

We are now 5 days on and it has been terrible. I have to help her wash and change, she has been refusing to drink much so she doesn't need a wee and therefore doesn't have to deal with the sight of any blood. I know it's early days but she's worrying about school and to be honest, so am I.

She has known about periods for the last 6 months or so but is quite young minded and at the moment can't see to her own personal care. This has also set off her sensory issues, feeling uncomfortable because of the sanitary towels and using about half a loo roll for each wee. She hasn't been to the bathroom alone since Friday as she finds it too distressing. Her anxiety has been through the roof too.

She was given a dx of DCD (Dyspraxia) in late September and is waiting on assessment from the local Autism team, CAMHS Psych suspects Aspergers.

Help!

No advice, but didn't want to read and run

10 is so young, I'm not surprised she's not coping, poor girl.

Social stories like this or books and dvds like this might be useful??

Oh dear. Can the GP give you anything to supress it? I am an aspie and really struggle with pads, sensory yuckness. Also can manage to disconnect from it and end up in a mess. I use tampons but have gps permission to run three pill packs together so avoid as much yuck as possibe.

Thanks for replying

I'm sure things will get better with time, dd is very overwhelmed atm understandably and is pissed of with the laws of nature. Logic tells her that at age 10 she isn't going to get pregnant so she cannot comprehend why this is happening now. Even though we have had lots of discussions about growing up.

I'm struggling to deal with this too to be honest, it's so hard seeing dd upset and there's not much I can do to ease the anxiety and tears.

Thanks again x

X-posted there Bucking.

I'm not sure about supressing it, haven't a clue to be honest. I feel overwhelmed too, dd is changing into a young woman but still can't be out of the house alone. It makes me concerned about the future to be honest.

I really feel for you and her. DD1 has AS and she struggled immensely when she started aged 12. School was a problem for her but as it came around the time of her refusing to attend a lot anyway I'm not sure how much was about the periods and how much was about other issues.

Unless your DD has a fantastic school with very reliable understanding staff I would be tempted to allow her to have some time off when it's very heavy. For me it just wasn't worth risking her getting distressed and embarrassed by being unable to cope there.

My DD took a few months to stop being stressed about it but now one year on she is able to cope on her own for the most part. I just have to keep tabs on how often she washes. They were very very heavy the first few times but have become much more manageable now.

I'd wait and see how heavy and how regular they are before considering using the pill to control them but I would definitely consider it if they have a very big impact on her.

Thanks Alison

School are pretty useless, it wasn't until the multi meeting at school in September that school acknowledged there were 'issues'. Up until that point I'm sure they thought I was deluded as dd copes ok at school. It's a different story come hometime though. They were shocked to hear of what we deal with at home but the head is unapproachable and difficult to deal with. Senco isn't much better unfortunately. I'm not even sure how to broach the subject or who with.

That sounds very familiar. DD1's school are pretty much in denial too. It's hard to know how to broach this sort of thing because they could well reassure you that they'll help her and then let her down badly. Also if she's anything like my DD1 she wouldn't dream of mentioning she needed help at school until it was blindingly obvious to everyone else anyway. Can you try to manage it by finding another excuse not to send her?

Thanks again Alison, like your dd mine wouldn't ask for help, never has. She's more inclined to struggle quietly and explode at home.

We try to avoid days off school as she needs a lot of overlearning esp with maths (senco mentioned possibile dyscalculia) and after nearly every weekend she is having to be shown again how to do things she learned the previous week. The alternative though is scary, send her anyway and hope for the best, knowing she can't cope!

Maybe CAMHS will have some suggestions or maybe OT?

Thanks once again

It is a hard one to call.

Fingers crossed that you find a good solution.