Ugghhh. Horrible man.

[Taysh1109]

I went to a dinner party last night, and it was a lovely evening, until my friend's partner and all his friends returned from the pub. I'll re-enact the conversation for you, and would like you to bear in mind that I have never met these men before, he was a complete stranger to me and most other people there.

Man1: So what do you do then?

Me: I'm a behaviour management trainer

Man1: What does that entail?

Horribleman: (shouting) You do what?

Me: I'm a behaviour management trainer

Horribleman: What the hell is that?

Me: I train staff on how to manage challenging and aggressive behaviour displayed by individual's they support at work, people with LD and mental health needs etc.

Horribleman: You mean window-lickers?

Me: No... I mean people with learning difficulties and/or mental health issues.

Horribleman: Yeah, window-lickers, slobberers, you know, mongs?

Me: ~silence~

Horribleman: It's ok, I'm allowed to say it.

Me: Why's that then?

Horribleman: Because I am one! Hahahahahahaha ~insert disgusting (and very poor) impression here~

What. A. W*@n$£r.

What I wanted to say was "Considering I've just told you where I work, I can't believe you're stupid enough to think that I would actually find that funny. Also, my baby has down's syndrome, and you've just offended me. So I think you should f$@k off now."

But I couldn't get any words out at all, I just sat there, seething; fists clenched, going very hot, with the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end and a big lump in my throat
I'm a bit cross with my myself now for letting it get to me in the first place, I know how horrible people can be from working where I work, but this time it just threw me

tosser. unfortunately it doesnt surprise me look at the crap frankie boyle is allowed to spout on national tv as a sick, vile, heartless, cruel wanker comedian.

not very nice man at all.....id also be asking myself why none of your friends intervened on your behalf especially knowing about your daughter

The C word should be saved exclusively for people like him.

Taysh that was horrible and unexpected. Sometimes its just not worth saying anything especially when drink's been taken. He's a complete ars.

Vile. What did man1 say?

So now you need to have words with your partner about the quality of people you will allow over the threshold.
There are a lot of nasty shits out there, but you don't need them in your home.

Did no one bounce him back onto the street?

I think you did the right thing by not engaging with him any further.

Well because there were so many people there, not many people heard as everyone was engaging in different conversations.
The people that did hear (including man1) just sat awkwardly and confused (I think expecting me to lunge across the table and punch him), apart from my best friend, of course. She stared him straight in the face and just said "I don't really think that's a very nice thing to say, do you?" and he just slurred a little bit and carried on laughing, and then for the rest of the night generally acted like a tit.

He also, about 30 mins later, made a joke about cervical cancer, or 'fanny cancer' as he called it. Seriously, nice bloke. Marriage material almost?! Maybe not.

What a twat - you probably did do the right thing by not engaging with him - unfortunatley there is no reasoning with some people

The only way I can cope with people like this is to pretend that I am at work. And I ask myself how this behaviour would be treated if they did have an underlying diagnosis.

Then I calmly explain that no other service users behave like this despite much worse problems, remind them why their behaviour is unacceptable, call security to have them removed and add their names to the zero tolerance list (in my dreams ).

well done on your restraint- he sounds like a total tosser and best ignored...but it is hard to ignore-In a quiet moment I might ask my friend about her bloke's friend...and why he IS a friend...and what a pity your evning out was marred by this man

...evening...

Into, that sounds like a good way to handle it. You'll probably find that your friend has ishoos with him too, and it might give her an excuse to make her DP kick him in the knackers see less of him. Not that I approve of such controlling behaviour normally, but this guy sounds like the absolute limit!

Taysh, poor you! No point in attempting to reason with knobs like him.

One piece of advice I read on mn was to ask the rude person to repeat what they said: 'Excuse me, what did you just say?...I'm sorry I didn't quite get that - could you repeat it?' etc. But in this case you probably did the right thing.

At least he didn't get an appreciative audience by the sound of it.

What a repulsive arse he sounds.

There was nothing you could say.

He's an ignorant twat. It's how the man obviously IS....fundamentally.

Is it any wonder that we mums of disabled kids fear for them in the wider world and for their future.

Frankie Boyle and that git Jimmy Carr? I'd have em' put down.