help what happens when carer cant care .....

[missmarples]

hi,

i could do with some help and advice - i have a 12 year old pmld child who is completely dependant on my care 24 /7. he is in a wheelchair, has little communication is deaf, has seizures, scoliosis, issues with feeding etc etc. anyway, a week before xmas i broke my ankle in 3 places and spent 5 days in hospital - hubby has been fab and made christmas but we are only just managing - i can't wait bear for at least 6 weeks and have a feeling its gonna be longer. So, we are managing but not nearly as well as my son needs, and so i am not sure whether this can go on long term. We tried to get our son into a local residential school a couple of years ago and failed - what would happen now if we told social services that we couldn't cope and that we needed more help - so far they have offered one day - the 20th Jan ....... anyone know what legal obligation the SS have to help us ? Could we ask for a residential placement til i am better ?

Thanks for your help.

Are you ok? Sounds painful.
I have no idea what should happen here but I imagine you should be given some sort of respite? Would SS come and do an assessment? Sorry not much use but hopefully someone with better knowldege of this will be along shortly

We don't get any respite but SS told me that they would help out when I have an opration I am due to have, you should phone them.

sorry to hear what has happened to you
SS can or may help with carers to come in i know that happens in scotland , i had similar but it was garrys ankle, due to my heart condition i wasnt able to care for him,so they employed carers for to come in morning and evening to attend to his personal care and dress him and change the bed etc,

myra

I am a nanny ,last year I did a temping jo b for a lady who had broken her wrist and has two children one of whom has complex needs similar to your son.I was hired through a nanny agency but I am sure that the money to pay me did come from SS.

Well.

Their legal obligation is pretty slim. Theoretically if they come out and assess you and say you need x and then don't provide it you can take them to court. But it would cost a packet to do so (unless you get legal aid) which is why no-one ever does.

In practice, it depends on the council (SS budgets and demands on that money vary widely) but afaik it's rare for them not to give you any help in an absolutely desperate emergency, particularly if it's a short-term problem. The difficulty is in persuading them that you are genuinely desperate and there is a real risk that you will fail to cope and then they will be left picking up the pieces. Is your GP any good? They may be able to back you up by calling SS too.

The residential angle is difficult. I think a residential school would mostly be funded by LEA and I guess the balance is usually from NHS. So appealing to social services for respite will probably get you nowhere with what will be seen as an educational issue.

Round our way, SS generally say that husbands / friends / relatives should ask for unpaid leave from work so they can take up the role of main carer. Or that you should 'use your DLA' to pay for the care .

So all in all, I can't see there's much risk of them over-reacting if you tell them you can't cope. Getting them to provide an urgent assessment would be a good first step.

Thank you for your replies and yes the message coming back is hubby has to take unpaid leave which is ok short term but 6 weeks ??????? We do have some respite in place already as he doesn't sleep much so looks like we are just gonna have to muddle thro. And yes I also agree that the residential is via the Lea and health funding - I just wish they would all talk to each other ......

Would it be worth asking his boss to write saying sorry they can't spare him? They're only obliged to offer reasonable time off for carers, which (I think) legal bods usually intepret as short term or easily managed changes to work patterns.

His self employed - if he doesn't work we don't earn - and ss are fully aware of that