ds2 affected by ds1's difficulties -feel very sad

[cornyPrawnsdefrostJasonDonovan]

ds1 very rarely leaves the house at the moment. Usually we go to my mum's on christmas day and my sisters go also with their broods. We didn't go this year as there was no way we could have persuaded ds1, so just left it. ds2 just asked about the 'christmas party at granny's'. When I explained it was yesterday he cried and cried. Feel awful.

Ds2 effects just about everything we do.. And yes.. When he won't leave the house or is being such hard work the other two dc's can end up really missing out.

Yesterday we almost had ds1 ( who is neatly 16) in tears of frustration because hejust wanted a normal Christmas day.

It's at that point that my mum and dad stepped in and helped out.. It happens.. But my folks are all so adjusted to help us deal with it that it helps out...
And it's also why we have everyone come here.. If it's too much for ds2 .. Then he needs to use his calm space.!

Can you find the space to have a special moment too?.. And if ds doesn't cope he can just go to his quiet space?... It's the only way we manage to do lots that we do.

I've just phoned my mum and she's inviting everyone round here tomorrow afternoon for a mini-party ds2 much happier. He's so laid back usually about everything that I didn't anticipate that he'd be upset. Won't make that mistake again!

Awww that's sorted out well then :)

these things are just these things that here on this board we deal with.. Where the rest of the world don't even have to think about it.
Pain in the butt tho.

I know! We ended up going to the park yesterday evening at about 4p.m to run off some steam. I was walking past houses where families were sat drinking wine and enjoying christmas dinner. I'm counting my blessings though - he actually slept this year on christmas eve!

I am highly impressed with sleeping on Christmas eve !

We don't .. Nor on Xmas eve eve( 23rd)..

I know! I feel unexpectedly rested

Is there any chance of sticking his favorite video or DVD in a nearby or same room when it all gets to much for him?

we haven't spent Christmas with relatives for years - too difficult for DS1 to manage and no-one really wants him spoiling their nice, peaceful, lazy Christmas. I have hardened my heart to it and tried to make the day fun for DS2 by keeping him away from DS1 as much as possible! Oh my, what lives we lead

Indeed - the stuff we do just to get through the day.

My mother came to us this year because we refuse to try to get DS out of the house on xmas day. Getting him to go anywhere at the moment is hard enough even when it's something he enjoys, trying to get him out with a trip to Grannys isn't going to cut the mustard at all.

I don't really get on with my mum- and having her here means it's really hard to get rid of her as quickly as we'd like. I like DS' attempt this year 'I don't like you, time for you to go now' he chirped up regularly. (Not coached by me, I hasten to add!)

We have no other children to affect, but DH (who loves Xmas) feels a bit shortchanged. And a bit bored. We're not really sitting around types and being forced to do it for nearly 3 days is hard. And boring.

Still, better 'boring' than meltdown city, I guess!

Well ds2 went to bed a very happy chap everyone came round (all gone now), ds1 shadowed one of his favourite grown up cousins and is now so high he's practically on the ceiling! Might just treat myself to a brandy

Glad it all panned out :)

and I hope you had that brandy :)