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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

asd and depression

16 replies

yoshysmum · 20/12/2010 22:10

Hi my son 6 years old, has asd and dyspraxia, diagnosed in the last month.

We went for a meeting with the school to let them know the full diagnosis from the nhs consultant, as they wouldn't belive us following our private diagnosis saying he just needs to try harder.

They have been telling him he isnt doing as well as he should be, and he has to try harder, which as he is trying his hardest anyway, has really damaged his confidence.

The school have said not only has he fallen behind by a year but he has also gone backwards. They are not doing any one to one which he needs, have told me he will not get a statement as his needs are not enough, despite scoring on the first percentile for his dyspraxia, and his unmet asd needs.

We will be applying for a statement ourselves by the way

He is very depressed at the moment and lacking in his usual confidence, as he is having these problems in school and now only has two friends at school as they are growing up and away and not so tolerant of his quirks.

Any way my main point is, is there anything I can do to try and restore his confidence, other than extra reassurence etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

yoshysmum · 20/12/2010 22:58

Anyone?

i am desperate as he is really unhappy at the moment and keeps saying I am stupid, no-one likes me and worse you hate me mummy

OP posts:

ArthurPewty · 20/12/2010 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purplepidjbauble · 20/12/2010 23:16

Apart from out of school tuition, which seems a bit drastic at 6, they need to pull their socks up!! Kick up a stink about IEPs, School Action/Plus, research the legal side and hit them with it. There should be a governor responsible for inclusion/SEN, could you write to or meet with them? Also, you could get on to the LEA or OfSted about their attitude...

Does he do any after school activities - beavers, martial arts, drama etc?

Good luck, hth

Original poster

yoshysmum · 20/12/2010 23:20

thanks guys, am actually thinking of changing schools for him as they are so poor.

he goes to beavers, which he does enjoy, so at least he has something.

OP posts:

zzzzz · 20/12/2010 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IndigoBell · 21/12/2010 08:40

I think the absolute first thing to do is to get him out of that dreadful school. Just don't go back after the holidays and find him another school.

When he's been at a new school for a few months he will be a different boy

signandsingcarols · 21/12/2010 10:03

Just a side thought, we have just started riding for the disabled (it costs £5 here, but there is a charity that can pay some/all, we haven't accessed that, as are using his DLA for that, among other things).

My ds (4 ASD, Mod LD) loves it, we go for a walk round the village, (him, woodsy the pony, me and two helpers) so as well as the 'being on horse-ness' there is lots of undivided attention from adults and lots of chance to 'chat' (sign) about the things we see on the way round.

We also do swimming at local council 'disability session'. Physically he is 'fit as a flea', but open sessions are just too busy and noisy.

These are just suggestions, but they don't involve other kids, so altho they might give your ds some feelings of being valued/important they won't add more friends... is there an ASD youth group/club in your area perhaps?

Original poster

yoshysmum · 21/12/2010 11:44

Hi sorry I didn't answer last night, I was shattered and went to bed!

Re the school we are taking him out and trying to get him into another as the school he is in is so pants.

I am constantly telling him that I do love him and talking to him about whatever is on his mind. He had a bit of a breakthrough last night and really accurately described how he was feeling which is a first as until now he hasn't been able to tell us and would normally have had a meltdown

The horseriding sounds brill as he has always said it is something he would like to do. I will find out whether our local riding school is taking on any new students at the moment.

It is so heartbeaking when your child is this low though isn't it?

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IndigoBell · 21/12/2010 11:58

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Hope he can at least enjoy Christmas / Christmas holidays.

You can take him out of this school before you have found a new school for him....

HelensMelons · 21/12/2010 12:23

HI Yoshysmum, my ds2 is 9 and is on the spectrum. The school sound totally out of touch with your son's needs; he is lucky to have such an in tune mummy.

A few of the parents in ds's school have their little one's in horseriding and they speak very positively. I enrolled ds in clay play (it was a morning session specially for kids with an asd) and he loved it. He didn't want to go and came back brimming with confidence and now wants to do more - it will cost me a small fortune but am considering it!

Confidence wise I def encourage anything creative, drawing, clay, dough, paint - it's a great way of de-stressing.

It is heartbreaking when our children are feeling so low but it sounds like you have the beginnings of a way forward and I hope he has a lovely christmas with his family x

Original poster

yoshysmum · 21/12/2010 12:58

Thanks HM ds loves crafts so thats a great idea, I will go and dig some stuff out and make some xmas deccies.

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auntevil · 21/12/2010 14:05

I know what you mean about the confidence going with dyspraxia. I find myself making a conscious point everyday of telling him positives about how good he is at something. I also remind him when he is low about how good he is at other things and that we can't all be good at everything - then give me and DH as examples - I don't drive, DH sets the fire alarm off even when doing toast - which DS doesn't, so it usually gets a smile.
School makes a massive difference. I had to move my DS in year 1 after the first term. This school works in a far more positive way and started using his strengths to give him confidence from the word go.
Finding him a refuge from his own feelings would be brilliant - horse riding, craft, reading, whatever will give him somewhere to feel confident and safe. If my DS has done something good - like a drawing, i pin it on the fridge and then text my DH to make some positive comment about it without being asked (otherwise he might not notice!) - It re-enforces the positive.

purplepidjbauble · 21/12/2010 20:53

1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup water
1 cup flour

Doesn't matter how big your cup is as long as you use the same one!

Mix into dough, mould, bake in the oven on low for a couple of hours or microwave on half power for a few minutes.

Paint, glitter, felt tips...

Original poster

yoshysmum · 21/12/2010 21:06

Thanks for the recipe I will try that tommorrow.

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purplepidjbauble · 24/12/2010 19:49

Hi, yoshysmum, hows it going??

ByeByeJude · 26/12/2010 22:38

HI, just wanted to add something. I work with ASD pupils and one of the best things to do is enable them to talk about their feelings. Many can't do this fully as they lack the vocabulary, but is you google 'emotions' or 'feelings' etc you should end up with pictures that you could talk about, and he might be able to tell you about situations which make him feel the way the person is looking in the picture. He may also benefit from a structure to his week, knowing exactly what is happening on which day. At his age, the best way to do this is with pictures and drawings, and he can have a timetable full of pictures. Especially if he has some nice activities to look forward to, this can help with getting through a tough school day. Sorry if these seem very basic ideas but in my experience, they make a huge difference. Hope you find an answer soon!

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