DS2 (NT) threw a massive tantrum and Ds1 (ASD) misinterpreted

[coldtits]

Basically, Ds2 doesn't like Changes. Putting clothes on, taking them off, going to the toilet, putting snowboots on, wearing his coat, taking it off, getting up, going to bed etc ad nauseum, you get the picture. He's 4.5.

Ds1 (7.6, but has ASD) saw me trying to (gently!) wrestle a squawking and squealing Ds2 into his clothes and boots and burst into tears shouting "You're really hurting him, can't you see that? Stop bending him around!"

So I have given up. Ds1 threw up on Saturday night, and on that vasis I am keeping them off school.

I have tried to exlain to Ds1 that his brother wasn't hurting, he was angry, but he's still rather mistrustful and still seems to think I've injured his little brother, despite me asking Ds2 in front of Ds1 if he has 'hurts'.

Ds1 interprets screaming as pain. He's never had a proper tantrum (ie for purpose of gaining own way, not a meltdown) in his life.

Does anyone think a storyboard would help?

I think a storyboard might help, especially if you have a running refrain along the lines of 'No I don't want to' and then end with the child being happy to be outside or in bed.
I'm trying to think of any books along those lines.
It's hard, but at least your DS loves his brother and thought about how he was feeling. It took my boy until about 12 to register someone else's discomfort or unhappiness.

My broke loose and is randomly interfering with my sentence. Sorry.

It is a good thing isn't it? that he actually showed some distress at someone else's distress.

I need to put some storyboards together, I might do that today whilst they are off.

Yes it is , so you have to help him find a way of assimilating the information.
Have you thought of drawing/writing your own storyboards?

yes, I'm going to do that today.

I have already made an 'emotion wheel', and we've done "When Ds2 was screaming, he sounded SAD but Ds2, come and show your brother how you felt while you are screamimng? Yes, that's right, he felt ANGRY" with the wheel involved. this seems to help, they've certainly both cheered up.

Happy Christmas!

We have this with dd1 (asd) and dd2 (query NT/pda)

Dd1 has emotions targets on her IEP, and she has made good progress over the last year. She too cannot bear her sister to he upset in any way, which leads to some interesting situations as dd2 (3) exploits this to the full.

We started out working on a couple of emotions at a time - one positive, one negative. And worked through lots of situations, and described feelings ALL the time. Was a bit like therapy, tbh - so would talk through everything eg mummy is feeling cross (nigella exaggerated cross face) or dd2 is feeling sad because she doesn't want to get dressed etc.

It has taken a long time, but dd1 now says "dd2 is cross" if dd2 is kicking off about coat ob/off, or won't eat lunch etc.

We also worked on getting dd1 to articulate and recognise her own feelings, so would label the obvious ones - happy when she was laughing, cross when in meltdown etc. She can now answer "how do you feel" for happy, sad, tired, cross, worried, amd hungry/thirsty. We found that as she built up her recognition of these emotions in herself, and what sort of situations prompt these feelings, she was more accepting of the feelings in others, and more able to understand why others might feel that way too.

No idea why my.exaggerated cross face might be a nigella face! Phone autocorrect and cannot work out what it was supposed to be!

'Don't let the pigeon drive the bus' is quite a good one to explain meltdown / tantrums. And great pictures!