Do those of you with SN children sometimes look at some 'problems' on this board and think if only?

[oliveoil]

I lurk quite frequently on the SN board and am astounded tbh at some of the things you have to deal with on a daily basis.

Then I think of some of the 'problems' that I have posted about and they seem pathetic in comparison.

Do you sometimes roll your eyes at what you see posted?

I know what you mean Saker as my ds (who is 7 and a half) was my first child. He sailed through (and still does) most things. The things I find the hardest is that ds gets invited to loads of parties, teas homes etc and dd always says why can't I go?
He is such a sociable little thing and it does break my heart as dd isn't. However I love them both for their individuality and have accepted that just because ds is sociable, dd is happier with just one friend and that's that. She is happy so I should be. Hope I am making sense and have gone off on a bit of a tangent

What a lovely post, ghosty. I'm all teary-eyed here. Go Jimjams!

depends on the day I have had.. but it tends to be less about oh if only you had to deal with what I have had to deal with.. I tend to think - if only you knew what it was like for other parents of children with sn who are doing it tough or anyones I know who has it tough. I think I am very lucky with dd1 and certainly don't have it as tough as others do.

For example - I couldn't help myself and I posted on the anything worse than having a birthdy at Christmas thread ( or whatever it was...) simply because I thought of all the people who had lost children or were trying to conceive etc who would love a child - christmas birth or not, along with other parents who really are at the coalface... dealing with things that other parents cannot comprehend.... and I figure there were far more important things in life.....

So on behalf of other parents I had a bitter and twisted moment. But generally mine tend to be bittersweet.... thinking - I wish or so on iyswim.

I can relate to Jimjams poast where she says she waited desperately for ds1 to walk - we did with dd1 - she finally walked at almost 3!!! Now dd2 is almost 11 months old and had been crawling for ages.... and I am so keen for her NOT to walk....But when I see dd2's amazing development it makes me appreciate how hard dd1 has worked to get where she is now.. and sometimes I wish things were just that little easier for her.

bit stunned actually!

Message withdrawn

Ghosty what a glowing post, most people would be honoured that they made such a positive impression.

Ghosty - what a delightful post

Jimjams is a lovely person and I would love to meet her in RL.

I don't buy the 'you are only dealt the hand that you can play' line (too glib for me) and as such I am in awe of all the parents who cope with much more than anyone should have to!

There but for the grace...

And, of course, it could all change tomorrow!

i sometimes think that some things seem very minor but in the grand scheme of things we are all different and all stress about different things, i do often have to bite my tounge at the school gate, but i kinda expect that really my DS is the only child with a statement and autism at his mainsteam school, i tend to stick to the SN bit on here cos i feel comfy here and with 3 kids with autism i don't easily feel i can relate to the other bits

Jimjams, the posts here about how special you are are spot on. Your generosity towards other parents who have far, far less to cope with than you is amazing. I hope I've learnt something from your posts - obviously don't really have a clue but being more patient with kids who behave strangely, because I now realise the reason may be SN.

I saw my sister with one of the kids she used to look after once and said something about how hard his life was and his mother's must be. She said 'yes, but the one I'm worried about is x, because he could die at any time.' Really shocked me and made me realise that there IS always someone a thousand times worse off.

Of course you are stunned Jimjams ...
My point EXACTLY
You just don't geddit do you???

and thats spot on edam, i may have three with autism but i know its not just about numbers, its more about limitations and expectations, i am very very lucky that my three are able to talk and we can get out there in the world, thou it aint all geared up to autism we can manage on a good day, on a bad day...well lets not go there

stop stop!!!!

Edam I know what you mean- now ds1 is at a school that takes children with PMLD, I have heard mother's talking about "when" their children die, and how the latest set of problems may be "the beginning of the end". Amtter of factly. These mum's have nursed their children for their whole lives, often with zero respite. They amaze me. I really can't imagine it.

just take it on the chin jimjams you are an inspiration everyone knows it so accept it

I have enormous respect for every parent of special needs children, because you face struggles and battles that none of us parents of NT kids have. I do thank my lucky stars that I have it so easy in comparison (although of course I moan about how hard my life is often enough, but when I see posts on SN boards on active conversations and read them does tend to stop me in my tracks).

oh god OJ don't you start! you know lots of the same people as I do and you know there are loads who cope with lots more thsn me! Aggh I'm off to bed

Jimjams, thnak for thinking of me a lot, but i also think you are one amazing woman. I am grateful that my kids are relativly healthy (barr the allergies which are taking over atm) and we can do things like go to the beach, to restuarnts etcm which must seem a million miles to you right now. I know other peoples problems are big to them, and something that i might read and think 'is that all?' i just wont post because its not fair on the original poster, because i cant compare my life with anyone elses, as i dont know anyone on here dealing with what we are going through. Jimjams and co are 'fortunate' that there are mums of other autistic children on here and they do have a support network. My main source of support for heart problems isnt actually this board, but one for patients and relatives of those with DCM as its 'safe' and they klnow whats going on.
I know i'm rambling, and have probably change the whole hread, but its hard to explain.

I know what you mean misdee. I suspect the DCM board is invaluable . I spend half m y life telling people to find others in the same situation as them. Otherwise its lonely out there.

Somebody recently told me a sad story about a funeral they went to. It was the funeral of a 3 year old boy who had been born with a chromosomal disorder that meant he never sat up, could never eat, never learnt to talk or walk etc. He had no quality of life at all. He lived longer than expected (they told his mother he would die before his first birthday).
At the funeral the mother stood up and said to everyone that she knew what everyone was thinking. That they were thinking what a relief it must be. That the last 3 years have been terrible for her and that this is the best thing to have happened. She told them all that no one could possibly know how much she loved her son and how he had been the centre of her world. She said she would trade everything she owned in the world just to have one more day with him.
Very sad
She sounded like an amazing woman.

OMG Ghosty. No more, no more please I can't take it

I know, sorry, I posted that and then instantly regretted it ... too sad for words ...

Tbh I'm amazed people who have to cope with very serious problems day in, day out, like SN mums and Misdee, don't get fed up with the rest of us more often and crash some of the threads where we are worrying about trivialities saying 'wtf are you ON?'.

The fact that people generally don't speaks volumes about their patience and generosity.

Am waffling now, will go to bed!

BH - me niether

Was 'welling up' before -now flooding!!!!