How do the sibings deal with other children and SN

[janx]

Ds is 3 and has severe speech delay - to the untrained ear most of what he says is very hard to understand. He is tall and looks 4 which is hard too. Dd is 6 and recently children have been making comments about ds - I can see her struggling to defend her brother from jibes but doesn't know quite what to say- she finds it hard to understand why he can't talk the way other kids do. I find it hard explaining in a way that children would understand...any advice

I've had a bit of a scout round, and found this website. I'm interested too. DNiece is 5 and has ASD. DNephew is 3 and just starting to understand that his big sister is not really like other big sisters

Recommend sibs too - I've been to a talk by them, very good. They send out tips each month if you join their mailing list.

You have to re-explain everything too every few months, as the siblings' understanding develops.

From what i've seen ages of the children make a big difference. There is an age when your DD will fully understand your DS's condition - as will her friends if they make comments. There will also be a point of maturity for your DS when he realises that he is out of sync with his peers - which i find harder, as an explanation just doesn't cut it as you can't do much to make it 'better'.

Thanks everyone - will look at that website. Auntevil - I can see that will be hard. I feel a bit sad as ds doesn't seem to have made any friends at nursery - they just can't understand what he says

janx - have you read the thread of 'have you seen this letter in the guardian' on this page. Make sure you aren't disturbed as it's a bit of a moist eye moment - but very positive at the same time. It's a siblings point of view.

My brother has SN, he has a chromosome abnormality, he has no speech and was slow to reach milestones as well as other medical issues.
I was 2 and a half when he was born so it to a while for me to realise things were different. He makes a lot of loud noises and I remember when I was about 8 or 9 some of the other children in my class were laughing about it. I was embarassed at first but I think your natural instinct is to stick up for your siblings.
Generally I think as a sibling you dont really know any different and as long as your parents have a positive attitude about it then most take it in their stride. I definatley has times when I felt second best or that I was left out especially if he had a lot of hospital visits or things going on but mum always made sure we spent time just the 2 of us and that always made a massive difference.
My brother is 29 now and 6ft 5 so certainly stands out when we go anywhere as he makes a lot of noise lol but Im very proud of him and my two DD's idolise him and love him to bits.
I know this is long but before I go I remember a friend of mine told me this story. She has 2 boys one is 8 and has a variety of SN, he is blind and strips naked at any opportunity, her other boy is 6. The 6 yr old had a play date and she said to him do you want to tell X a bit about your brother thinking he would tell him that he had SN and was blind etc instead he said - This is A and he likes biscuits and is good at jumping. Sometimes its us adults that over analyse and to kids its all very simple!

Thanks SB - what lovely stories - I think I need to chill out a bit - I feel so protective towards him sometimes

have ds3 who is 5 with sn ,Gdd speech problems Pd etc and then have dd who is 7 and ds1 and ds2 who are 16 and 13.There all very good at accepting ds3 is just ds3 .

Dd is very close with him and wont have anyone push him around when were out and there playing eg soft play.She understands now tha her broher is differnt .

At school they was doing stuff for children in need for kids that was disabled and she pointed out well my brother is one of them.Also she is fully aware of diablity access and not worried abou talking to people that are differnt for what ever reason