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SN children

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Original poster

So gutted by this comment today

10 replies

Ellie4 · 14/12/2010 19:28

Ok I know I had better get used to this and toughen up but I was so gutted today.

We were at a Xmas party today, organised by the local mums group. DS1 (4 yrs with HFA/semantic pragmatic disorder) went to get his present from santa and gave him a great big hug. Was very cute but while he was doing it the lady who called up the kids by their names said "I said he was lovely".
Now my take on this is there was a discussion earlier where someone else had commented about my son in such a way that didn't describe him as lovely at all. I know that when written down it seems like nothing and I am probably just being all hormaonal as I'm pregnant but I have been so upset since.
Just needed to offload so thanks for listening.

OP posts:

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 14/12/2010 19:34

She probably meant that she'd warned santa that one of the children might react unpredictably/be worried but that he was lovely.

Poor you though. It's always hard having your child singled out. Why do they have to comment at all eh?

But you're right, you're going to need to toughen up a bit.

bensonbutnohedges · 14/12/2010 19:38

Or maybe they were just discussing children in general and someone said Ellie4s DS is lovely. It does happen you know! Try not to read too much into it.

Spinkle · 14/12/2010 19:49

It's hard not to get upset, and as mums with kids with SN we are programmed to be ultra defensive of them. It's our job.. Try not to dwell on it.

FWIW the head honcho PTA mum once said to me 'I worked with your DS at school the other day, he's such a good looking lad, it's such a shame'

To which I replied........nothing. And her stupidness hung in the air like a giant airship. She's not spoken to me since (thankfully!)

elliejjtiny · 15/12/2010 12:07

People say that about my boys all the time and I just take it as a compliment that they are cute. However it depends on their tone of voice etc as to whether it's complimentary or not. My DS2 loves it when adults talk to him whereas the other younger siblings of the children in DS1's class are quite shy so he gets a lot of comments about how lovely he is. Being pregnant doesn't help either, I keep swinging between bursting into tears and wanting to commit murder at the moment.

purplepidjbauble · 15/12/2010 14:12

You could take her comment many ways, but I would be inclined to suggest that she was pleased to be proved right. Other people will only see and judge the negative behaviour, not seeing the wonderful child your DS is underneath. This lady seems to have seen what a beautiful person you have brought into the world and is publicly appreciating that???

jardy · 15/12/2010 14:38

Agree with purple above.BTW he does sound really lovely.I do know what you mean,that you think they may have been talk,but I think they must have been talking positively.

zzzzz · 15/12/2010 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madsadlibrarian · 15/12/2010 15:39

you get slicker over time at making them feel like the one with the problem - if required ;)

... I say "I know - it took a SUPERHUMAN effort for him to be that quiet" (super human on my part more like to stop him from acting like Taz - but I don't mention that)...

...and when things go wrong, I do tend to agree enthusiastically with his accusers - so much so that one day an old man (who he had licked :0) pleaded with me 'not to punish him' - I think he thought the poor child was going to get a beating ...[FAOD my fury with him isn't for the benefit of onlookers - I do believe that he HAS to learn to control himself]

and I think that is the point - it has to be about what is right for your dc not what some woman thinks - though it is hard hard hard sometimes

FickleFreckle · 15/12/2010 22:17

Ellie4 I would have taken it as a compliment - that the lady has a soft spot for my ds and has been telling someone else that, so that when he does something really cute she says "see, isn't he lovely?"

after all isn't that what we'd assume if it was a NT child?

it can get tiring always being on the defensive so I tend to assume the best, it saves wear on my nerves

Original poster

Ellie4 · 16/12/2010 05:43

Thanks for your replies. Am feeling better today and focusing on the school report which we got the same day as the party. It was much better than I expected and even dh who will ALWAYS focus on the negative admitted it was pretty good.
Sadly the lady who made the comment doesn't really know him so I doubt she has a soft spot for him but thanks anyway ficklefreckle.

Going to toughen up now.
ellie

OP posts:

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