does your dp back you up or do you have to take all the difficult decisions - a bit of a rant

[cansu]

I am feeling very pissed off that dp won't ever be firm with ds or face up to any difficult decisions. ds1 is being toilet trained. He is also ripping up his nappies so it makes sense to keep him in pants as much as possible. However, dp can't be bothered to toilet him every twenty minutes and also gives in when ds1 starts screaming because he wants a nappy to rip up. I know it's hard but he gives in almost instantaneously which gives ds1 the message that screaming works and also frustrates any efforts I am making. Does anyone else's dp pull this kind of crap? or is it just me?? Rant over.

Sounds like DP needs a reward chart for good parenting behaviour - and you need wine and chocolate

I already have the wine LOL. I think he is quite a serious case for the whole reward charts thing IYSWIM!

Same here when DS has attacked me or DD2 for whatever reason its
'what did you do or say to him'
Same with trying to get routines done with him when he was younger.
His answer to him not getting up in the mornings was 'throw some water over him', he doesn't seem to realise what would happen to me if I did that.

yep, i'm the only one that makes ds2 go out of the house, or try something new. dh always takes the easy option with him.

My DP requires more training than my DCs!!!

I am a single parent - and so thankful for it!

I threatened to get y hubby a pebble jar yesterday. We use this for DS instead of a chart as he can visibly see the jar filling up and see how many pebbles to go before he gets his reward. ( Also takes a bit longer than your usual reward chart to get to the reward which help hi with his patience).

I do honestly think men and women see things copletely differently. All my friends, if they are having a moan about their hubby or partner all complain about the same things. Helps me to stay married as I realise he isn't doing these things to annoy me - he's just a man - lol!!

xx

Agree here too - DP is on the whole very good but really dislikes doing physio (needs doing daily), and anything gory to do with gastrosomies or enemas.

So muggins here does most of it. But really I think its not worth destroying our relationship over.

Cansu... yep I do all the difficult decisions and most of the discipline[sp?] in our house.

DP does cooking cakes and staying up late on the DS!!

Oh and right now he is doing paper shredding, one of Dd3's favourite pastimes .

Sometimes it drives me potty, but its me Dd3 wants when somethings going wrong so I guess I cant be all bad..

Hi

Same here, I make all the reasearch, put therapy in place and try to stick to things and yes, he can not be bothered but I have a hunch that he is afraid of all this maybe more than I am. So I am happy for him to be the shoulder I can lean on when I can not taking anymore, even if he does not get involved in ground work :))

Do you think it's because they just don't know where to start? My DH's answer is the biggest cop out - 'you're so much better at it than i am'. This translated means, you do all the hard work most of the time so you find it easier to do and have had more practise - i'm just a lazy b and can't be a*d.
Have to agree with you shaz, all of my friends who are married complain about the same things. I also see the same traits developing in my DSs. If it was legal to beat it out of them i would, but i will just have to work on the persistence to drum acceptable behaviour into them so that another generation of women don't have the same problems

Hmm, no. DH is probably better with DD than I am (more patient as less over-exposed!).
The only thing he won't do is give the cat his antibiotics!!