aibu to think this dad is a bit of an arse

[nightmarebeforechristmas]

background
his dc is 18
he is not her carer as she has 324 hr care(he is good at getting stuff) she can talk but not walk or do her own stuff iynwim
he thins inclusion at all costs.
so according to him
people shouldn't have respite...
they should all have carers coming into thier houses!!
now he said this to ds, so I have told ds to tell him next time that that is exclusion.

so is he an arse?

You can tell that I have come a cropper with this man before. I don't trust him an INCH. It won't hurt to express your worries about him. I will also have a word with the local SN parents organisation as I think he still be involved. I know his views are not popular there.

I have had it on good authority however, that the two main respite homes will not be cut. This is presumably because SS will be absolutely fucked if they get rid of respite for the most severely disabled kids in the city. Not to mention the lives that it would ruin

He has NO idea. None at all

glad to hear that.
people like him worry me, as he has the time to cause trouble iynwim

All the time in the world. Unlike us

A long time ago I used to work shifts in a weekend respite unit for children with complex disabilities. We arranged the intake according to which dc got on well, and which staff they preferred. We went out. Every day... shops, cafes, supermarkets, cinema. The kids used to decide what they wanted to do, and we'd drive the bus there. Then we'd take a vote on what they wanted for tea, and have games or a video before bed.

Most of the dc had additional problems as well as their disability: one was hidden away by the family, another had a parent who was terminally ill, two more were wheelchair users with no car, living miles from everywhere. Our perspective was that it was the kids' short break, and the nearest they'd get to a holiday.

The unit closed. Respite with foster carers was cheaper.

DS's respite home is very similar to the one you worked in maria. Lots of choice and activities and it's very homely. I would tweak it a bit here and there but on the whole, it's excellent. What a crying shame yours closed.

I think if I lived in a big house, with a separate flat for DS's respite and a team of carers round the clock, it still wouldn't be as good as DS wouldn't have anyone to hang out with except a carer. Children with very severe learning disabilities don't tend to have lots of friends on tap and certainly none that can independently pop over for a sleepover.

I also think it is safer on the whole, to have a team rather than one worker on a 1:1 with a non-verbal or SLD child with no-one to look out for any abuse etc. I think studies into care for under 5's found group settings like nurseries safer than childminders for similar reasons

see DD we have to remember that this man has moved out so his dd is on her own.

On her own with boyfriend, friends and an independent social life..My DS would just be on his own with a carer. That is loneliness in a nutshell