So fed up with people's attitudes

[Hopelesslydisorganised]

I hate shopping with DS (ASD/ADHD/Dyspraxia/Hypermobility).I move heaven and earth NOT to take him and usually go when he is in school and I am not working. Sometimes though it is unavoidable and he can be hard work to manage.

I have lost count of the number of times I have seen people observe DS and just give a shake of their heads - you know the one I mean, it's the one which says "bloody parents these days have no idea and their kids are so badly behaved". I just want to scream at them sometimes that DS has an ASD and that he is socially very behind other children - he won't be climbing the walls/throwing tantrums/disobeying forever. Often he does NOT do these things now but take him into a palce like a supermarket with all the sensory overload that these places give (especially this time of year) and it becomes much harder work.

What do other the rest of you do when confronted with this?

I love the phrase 'yes, tutting is a well known cure for autism'

have to say if people actually make comments (rather than just doing the 'cat's bum face') I also love the faux naive " oh you must have lots of experience with disabled children to make that comment... in view of the complexity of his disabilities what would you suggest????"

Cue much stuttering!!!

Yes, it's horrible and the amount of energy it takes to manage, etc; I mainly just ignore it. Sometimes it's the other way round though with people being helpful which makes up for all the twats. Will have a look at that website Northern x

Haven't had this problem for a while now because amazingly DS has got better as he got older, but I used to just repeat to myself "Those who mind don't matter;those who matter don't mind".

i just totally don't look at anyone apart from DD ever, so i don't see any looks, it works!

Oh I had a moan about this the other day. Ds is not off the scale in supermarkets but he dies do the touchy, flappy.. Spinny not looking where he is going thing and I end up steering him!

Which was fine when he was little.. But he's a biggy now , stands as tall as I do and the looks we get are now more of annoyance quickly followed by pity!

Most of the time I don't care.. Sometimes it gets to me..

What works a bit.. Is the insane ability that ds has to play on his psp and walk in a straighter line not touching things.. Than if he is without it!

great posts, STAR and IMAHAPPY- I was wheeling ds in supermarket trolley the other day;he was making loud random(happy) noises- I noticed out of the corner of my eye a woman having a good look-I turned around and she gave me and ds SUCH a big smile I wondered if she was 'one of us'- but then to be honest I think I have had more smiles for ds than tuts over the years

my DS is 13 now.. 6 ft tall and has NO idea of personal space. When he's not bashing into people or rearranging the shelves ( he likes to line things up) he likes to getthisclose to strangers and tell them about his obsessions..

It tends to unnerve strangers

In the past I used to feel the need to 'explain' his behaviour (especially as he liked to touch people) but over the years I have developed a thick -rhinolike-skin and just think 'deal with it'

Usually people realise fairly quickly that he's not 'typical' and are friendly.. over the years I have come across absolutely wonderful strangers who chat to him in queues etc:) The miserable gits we just forget about...!

Medusa, it's funny how people are so much kinder when it's adults! I've worked with kids for years, now working with adults. We pop to the shop for a pint of mile, or to the pub for a cuppa, most days and people smile, nod, hold doors open... Yet if I were walking around with a group of children we would most likely get a few shaken heads and tuts.

Only one conclusion:

Bastards, the lot of 'em

I must admit that any child who is not 'behaving' - whatever that means- when we are shopping - i often find myself giving the parent an empathy smile. Mainly because for once, it's not me!!

I always wonder whether to smile or say something kind (I don't do sympathy) but usually stay well out of it unless i get bumped into/roped in some other way

I think the look of empathy comes from hearing the displays clatter down - glass smash - high pitched shrieking, look at my DS and realise its not me. Maybe i'm mistaking what i think is a look of empathy for what might be a look of relief?

hank you folks - calmed down 2 days later lol.

Moving house on Tuesday so disarray rules here - DS is in full hyper mode as a result. Thank goodness for his lovely school who are helping him cope with the change too.

No shopping this weekend - just lots and lots of packing.