Pregnancy after birth injury

[badkitty]

Well, here's a bit of an announcement - I am pg (a bit of a happy accident!) - only early days yet (7 wks maybe) so of course a lot could happen. I just wanted to see if there is anyone on here who has gone on to have no. 2 after an experience like ours - DS1 was brain damaged at birth due to lack of oxygen. I could do with some advice as to how to cope with it all as I am not really over the trauma of the first time (wasn't actually intending on trying again for a while!) Obviously am very frightened of it happening again.

At the moment I am quite worried about the care I will receive. I will insist on an ELCS this time as no way could go through labour again and wouldn't trust anyone to monitor it properly anyway. Basically I am going to our GP on Friday, and I am nervous about having to explain the whole situation to them (they are not in my experience v. sympathetic) and I know the normal thing would be to put me in for a booking app with the midwives, but I don't want anything to do with the local midwives - there is a very good chance that I could end up seeing one of the midwives who was present at DS's birth who I think are at least partly to blame, and I simply can't bear to have to see them. Can I just refuse to see them?

How I am going to cope with DS and a new baby, is probably something for another thread entirely - trying not to think about that too much at the moment!

Hey Badkitty - congratulations! No advice but bumping for you. I remember other posters with similar concerns so hopefully they will be along soon!

Hi - I wanted to be the first to wish you congratulations!! I can't offer you any practical advice regarding the pregnancy/birth!

However, my ds has gdd and I was pregnant with ds2 before we realised the extent/seriousness of his problems (suspected genetic condition).

I had a very long and traumatic birth with ds1 and always thought that he had suffered some brain damage at birth which wasn't the case in the end. The birth with ds2 was a dream so completely different! - I worried the whole time that ds2 would have the same problems and how I would cope with the two of them! I begged my dh to take some sick leave to help me but he was too worried about losing his job so I just had to get on with it and I do and it's great I love being at home with them both. We've got a great routine going and have lots of fun and laughs (few tears too)

Anyway I suppose what I'm trying to say is every pregnancy/birth is different and you'll find a way to cope!! Many many congratulations, hope you have a lovely safe pregnancy. Look forward to hearing updates x

Thanks very much :) I am hoping that it will be a really good thing for ds to have a sibling in the long run - 1980sport how long is there between your two?

20 months between the two! I dreaded telling family as I knew they'd all lift their eyebrows in a 'she'll never cope way' I was also a bit concerned about telling the professionals but they've all been very supportive and said ds2 will be a great encouragement for ds1. It's early days for ds2 as ds1's development problems weren't really noticed until 6 months but signs are good in that ds2 is much more alert and responsive than ds1 ever was at this stage! (ds2 is 3 months and ds1 is 23 months but about 12 months behind.)

oooooh congratulations

you can insist on consultant care at the hospital but I don't know how you'd avoid the post natal visits from the midwives unless your gp would be willing? Did you get a copy of your hospital notes from ds birth, might help? Most hospitals have a midwife that offers some sort of counselling or a person that will go through your notes with you after a difficult delivery, would be worth asking. There is also the birth trauma association that you can contact. Speaking as someone who didn't deal with a difficult delivery before the next one, I would say find someone to talk through everything with.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I also had traumatic birth with oldest dc and hence extreme anxiety with subsequent 2 pregnancies. You should be able to ask your gp to refer you to consultant at hospital given your experience with your first dc - (in our primary care trust at least you can opt for whether your pregnancy care is under gp or hospital). Also my notes specified in advance who would be managing the birth. I was given option to choose elective C section. I did find it helped to an extent with managing the anxiety to be able to talk through the options and birth plan with the experienced consultant first. Also if you feel it would help you can be referred for counselling during the pregnancy to help you manage the feelings that inevitably surface again.

Also second 1980 that siblings are definitely a boon for all the family even if one or more have sn and even though you anticipate feeling spread too thin.

Hope it all goes well.

Thank you, useful ideas. Have thought about requesting birth notes, although not sure I can cope with going through them! Good idea re counselling though, hadn't even considered that I could be referred for it.

1980 I hadn't realised our DS's are about the same age - I'm glad that it is going well for you with DS2!

Congrats!
My dd had AN un-dx brain injury in utero, and I am also nervous about my current pregnancy. I will choose to have an ELCS,I felt it reassured me. My dd is 3 1/2 so our situation do not really compare, but I just wanted to say to think positive and do not hesitate to see your dr if your instinct tells you so.

Congrats!

I do totally understand your anxiety. My DD was also starved of oxygen and has some brain damage and I would also hugely struggle with another pg and birth. Can you go elsewhere for the birth so as to avoid the midwife situation?

I will ask to go to a different hospital, but all my midwife apps last time were with local midwives at our gps, so I assume this is the same whichever hospital I go to. Still if I get consultant care maybe I can avoid the midwives altogether.

Can you take someone with you to the GP appt to compnsate for the potential lack of sympathy & speak up for you? I usually write something down if I'm dealing with someone difficult or if I'm going alone and think I might be tearful and incoherent.

In my area you can self-refer to the hospital via their website or calling the head of midwifery services and sending her a letter / fax.

Thanks Starlight, I am rather prone to make major decisions without really giving them much thought so I will bear that in mind and make sure I discuss the possible risks with the consultant!

Congratulations on your lovely news. I believe you had a placental abruption like my DD. She has been told when the time comes (if ever!) she will have a consultant led birth and an elective c section. (she point blank refuses a trial labour)

Although there was not much discussion on it at the time and putting the facts we know together, it is obvious that she had placental insufficiency (failing placenta for some time) as the baby was small for dates. The sonographer did note this but was over ruled because DD is not tall, but DGS was only 4 1/2 lbs despite classed as term at 37 weeks plus a few days.

If and when she is going to insist on scans to monitor the health and blood supply of the placenta - I think via USS. Getting hold of your notes or going through them with the drs might highlight if this is the same for you. DD wants an ELCS at 37 weeks - something she will feel safer with. She wants to wait a bit longer till DGS is more mobile before considering another baby, but secretly dreading it I think.

Many congrats Badkitty. I do hope all is going well with your pregnancy. How very sensible you are to insist on an elective C-section under a consultant this time round. The best time to have a baby is during the day time, when consultants are present. At night time, consultants do not tend to be around (although they may be on call) and there is generally less supervision which means that most blunders tend to occur during the night and early hours of the morning. I am due to have an elective C-section with my third child next month. Although it might be difficult, you could consider making a formal complaint re the treatment you and your first child received to both the Chief Executive of the hospital concerned and to the Patient Advice Liaison Service (PALS). Obtaining some answers may help you to move on. A formal complaint may also ensure that you receive a much better standard of care the second time round. Finally, there is absolutely nothing wrong in your identifying at the outset which midwives you wish to avoid, given your past experience.
I am sure you will cope well with two little ones. The second one is less of a shock to the system than the first. I was terrified of being exhausted with my second, but I felt fine. I wish you all the very best.

Hi and congrats!

My almost 4 dd suffered brain injury for reasons still unknown, probably due to a stroke in-utero.

I was also anxious during my second planned pregnancy, but gave birth to a healthy dd a month ago.

During my pg, I was more closely monitered, and at the end I was going to the maternity ward every second day to listen to the heartbeat and to moniter movements. I had 4 scans to make sure everything was ok. Since my first pregnancy ended in an emergency c-section, I chose to have another one, at 38 weeks.

Since the reasons for why it did not go well the first time were unpredictable, I had to force myself to be calm, especially at the end. Of course my dd keeps me busy enough so that helpeld!

Best of luck