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SN children

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Original poster

I am just so sad about this

28 replies

Blossomhill · 25/09/2005 19:51

Was on a night out and one of the girls (who I don't know very well) works with adults with autism/LD. Anyway I was chatting and said you work in a home don't you. She was like "yeah I work with spastics " Well I then said "the reason I am asking is that my dd has sn and asd traits.

You can imagine her face dropped and she was like "oh I didn't mean it like that". I honestly didn't know what to say and as it was my friends birthday didn't want to make a scene but the more I think about it the sadder I am getting.

These adults are being cared for by this woman and their families must feel that they are safe and then she does something like that. I just thought I would feel so, so gutted if the people in dd's unit spoke about her like that.

Why are some people so cruel? I just don't get it. Unless you have the heart and passion to work in that kind of job. Why bl@@dy bother.

Sorry but I really needed to offload. I am really upset as should have slapped her face it was just so hard

OP posts:

katymac · 25/09/2005 19:53

Blossomhill - this is awful.

I want to work with children with special needs and I would be up in arms if an colleagues felt this way - it is absolutely disgusting

waterfalls · 25/09/2005 19:54

Do you know which home she works in, if so report the bitch

spod · 25/09/2005 19:54

Message deleted

Original poster

Blossomhill · 25/09/2005 19:56

do you know I am sitting here in tears thinking about this. I just don't get it at all and am angry I didn't slap her one.
How dare she be so cruel

OP posts:

waterfalls · 25/09/2005 19:58

Surely she should be sacked for that and written off ever working with special needs or children again.........so awful.

Why on earth do people go into these proffesions if they think like that.

Original poster

Blossomhill · 25/09/2005 19:59

waterfalls - exactly. I dread to think what she is actually like with the people that live there.

OP posts:

jenk1 · 25/09/2005 19:59

you did really well keeping your temper, i dont know if i could have done that considering that i would be one of those "spastics" that she referred to as i have AS.

I would have been so angry-not for myself but because of DS who has autism and this sort of attitude to people with disabilities i thought wasnt around very much but obviousley still is-albeit in a majority.

My nanna was disabled-she had polio when she was a baby and couldnt walk without a stick, she also wore a caliper, one day at school a girl said to me "your nanna is a spastic isnt she" at first i didnt say anything but at the next playtime i went and found her and told her exactly what i thought of her in front of other kids thereby shaming her.

Maybe you could tell your freind who,s birthday it was about the persons comments to shame her in that way because the way she,s speaking she shouldnt be in the job she,s doing,
feel really angry for you BH

waterfalls · 25/09/2005 20:01

it's like carers in Nursing Homes, you hear of the residents being abused, so sad.

Merlot · 25/09/2005 20:01

Oh that's disgusting.

If she didnt mean it like THAT, how did she mean it then? You were probably too shocked to ask.

Unfortunately, this sort of stuff is my worst fear. The parents of those children in her care are hoping that they are being looked after by caring people - this makes my blood run cold

mummytosteven · 25/09/2005 20:02

what dreadful woman. let's hope as she clearly lacks the appropriate motivation for this sort of work that she soon leaves looking after vulnerable people.

Original poster

Blossomhill · 25/09/2005 20:03

Jenk - I think there are always going to be narrow minded nasty people in this world. Just wish I stopped bumping into them.

about your nan. Kids can be so cruel.

I am going to have a chat with my friend as I am so upset about this. It's just so unecessary.

I worry so much about my own dd when she is older.

OP posts:

lou33 · 25/09/2005 23:28

Just as well i wasn't there. I'm sorry you had to hear that BH.

sparklymieow · 25/09/2005 23:37

I hate the word 'spastic' and 'spaz' as I have 2 kids with spastic diplegia cerebral palsy (full medical term) I would kill anyone who called them spastics.......

lou33 · 26/09/2005 00:14

You and me both dear

eidsvold · 26/09/2005 00:41

I admire you keeping your cool - I would have gone off on one and made it very clear that she was behaving appallingly. I guess when the red mist descends it is difficult to think what to do or say next.. but I would have asked her what she did mean... if she did not mean it like THAT. I would speak to your friend about it and tell her how upset you were but that she thought she would be upset if you caused a scene.

Slapping her though probably would not have achieved anything although I bet you would have felt better....

I second the - finding out where she works and letting them know how disappointed you were to learn one of their employees felt that way about their 'clients' ( to put it in a business sense) and hopefully she will leave the job because she really does not belong there.

Thomcat · 26/09/2005 13:02

That's awful Bh, sorry you had to hear it, and horrific rthat anyone, least of all someone who works with people with SN's, would say something like that.

Fio2 · 26/09/2005 14:34

omg bosomhill, how horrible you had to hear that

Fio2 · 26/09/2005 14:35

i mean blossomhill

dinosaur · 26/09/2005 14:48

It is sad that that is how she thinks of the adults in her care, but what's even sadder is that she obviously wasn't expecting you or any of the other women to have a problem with the term "spastics". Which suggests to me that she habitually uses the term and no-one else has ever challenged it. She was assuming that you had the same views. Which is depressing as it suggests that most people do have the same views.

Sorry, don't know if that makes sense.

SleepyJess · 26/09/2005 14:59

Another point is that spasticity has little (if anything!) to do with ASDs! The term 'spastic' used to be acceptable.. (ie The Spastics Society which later became Scope) but then people - like this woman - started to use is derogatively to describe any disability.

Scary, sad and worrying to know that someone who has chosen to work with SN people as her career, makes such ignorant and cruel throwaway remarks.

SJ x

Christie · 26/09/2005 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Blossomhill · 26/09/2005 15:57

Tbh I would never slap anyone, not that type of person.

However she amde me feel like doing it. Heartless b.

OP posts:

saadia · 26/09/2005 16:01

I am shocked, horrified and saddened by her attitude. I really hope people like her are in the minority. Cannot stomach the idea of people like her working with vulnerable people.

chipmonkey · 26/09/2005 16:07

What a cow! I'd report her. that someone like this can work with vulnerable people.

monica2 · 26/09/2005 20:17

What a sad nasty cow! Unfortunately it doesn't surprise me. So sorry you had to hear this BH x

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