Yet another meds question (spurred on by something Mrs F said)

[Blossomhill]

As you all know very well dd has a language disorder and lots of autisticy traits. She may well one day be dx with AS as points a lot towards that.

Anyway dd is also hyperactive and this obv. makes things twice as hard. Offered meds by CAMHS 2 years ago and politely turned them down.

Have done Bibic, dietary change, cranial massage etc and I have come to realise that as Adhd/add is usually caused by chemical imbalance no amount of diet etc is going to change that. The stuff we have been doing has really, really helped but she is still so impulsive and hyper and I do feel it is starting to affect her a lot.

Now my main reason for this post is that sometime this week Mrs F posted that the meds made her ds's asd seem less (sorry Mrs F if it wasn't exactly that but it was more or less on those lines). However I posted on Adders a while back and apparently it makes the asd worse.
Someone please enlighten me as don't want to make 1 thing better and another porblem appear. I thought that as Mrs F said it would make things better. Just very confused with it all tbh

Would appreciate any advice Thanks

Hi, Blossomhill,
There are a number of different medications that can be given for attention problems and their exact effect can vary from child to child and their individual constellation of symptoms. If you are at the point of wanting to try something, it's worth bearing in mind that most medications for attention are short-acting, i.e. you can see if they work pretty quickly and if you don't like the effect, they also wear off quickly with no permanat effects. Most clinics will recommend monitoring behaviour for a period before the trial, giving the medication and re-monitoring the behaviour as a comparison.
Some ASD children can become more routinised or anxious with some of the medications, but by no means all, and some of the meds do help to reduce these symptoms in those children where they are a problem. That's why any new medication needs to be monitored carefully. Hope that makes sense...

Hi Dobbin

That was very helpful. Thank you

I am just so worried that dd will become more asd and less hyper.

I guess that at least if we do try meds we will know if the behaviour was adhd or asd as obv. if it isn't then they won't work.

thats what i find BH...tom definitely is 'easier' generally when meds taken....

there is NO meds to help ASD...as such...but in toms case,the way i see it cos he has ADHD it increases his anxiety...so 'dealing' with the ADHD...reduces his ASD behaviours which worsen with anxiety!!!

Hope that makes sense!

Possible his 'dyspraxic disjointednes' and his 'arm waggling' appear more noticeable when he is medicated...however ... they are not significantly worse...so i don't fret.

In a nutshell...his meds help him concentrate at school and make him less impulsive...less irritable with the world in general and more receptive to help and suggestions

Am seeing paed in a few weeks and am going to ask to be referred to CAMHS.

We have tried everything and the way I see it nothing can replace chemicals, except chemicals.

It is certainly not what I wanted and I have been tearful lately as I do feel I have failed dd. However I have tried my upmost to not medicate and now feel that maybe I owe it to dd to give her that chance.

you have always put her first...you ARE a GREAT mum...hopefully she will respond well to the meds...and your 'guilt' about it all will then slowly ease up...

I have just come back with a increased dose for Tom...and agin i always feel awful...as i always deep down hope that we will one day reduce the doses...however...HE hates feeling 'all over the pace' as he puts it...so we TRY the higher dose...and if it helps...then i accept that is WHAT HE NEEDS....

But BH...you are where i was at 5 years ago... it took me a while to feel less guilt...so be kind to yourself...and remember that all of us 'medicating mums' know what you feel.

You have NOT failed....YOu have tried your best....like you say...this is a CHEMICAL thing

also...i often fel that 'if' tom NEVER had to go out the house...never had to go to school...never had to interact...then he'd NEVER have problems with his impulsiveness...his 'what-is-seen-as-rudeness'....his distractability...etc.....and then i'd 'manage' quite nicely thank very much....

But....he DOES have to go out and 'live' away from me.... and other people don't 'understand' the way he is...so when he reacts badly...says something rude or is impulsive ...or gets confused...... he STRUGGLES....but when he is medicated...these 'problems' are fewer.

keep me imformed!!!

Im agree with Mrs F, i am now in your position BH where i have tried not to medicate as i try not to take drugs myself even if i have a headache. But the older my ds get the more it all shows and he is at a disadvantage because of his ASD, so i have decided when i go for his CAMH app to discuss the option. As the ms is talking about exclusion due to his challenging behaviour and that means possible going to a special school which at this point i don't want. So its a rock and a hard place

Mrs F - I do love you! You talk such sense and as dd is very near AS I know we are in a similar situation xxx

Soblue - I agree totally about the rock and hard place. This for me is the absolute last resort. If I ever want any kind of relationship with dd and for dd to lead any kind of normal life unless the impulsive,hyperactiveness is dealt with I don't think it's going to happen.

We were offered meds 2 years ago and turned them down so it is really hard to now have to put my hand up and say actually I do think we need them.
Again I think as it is an invisible disabilty you almost have to convince yourself. If your child was diabetic/epileptic etc you wouldn't think twice about the side effects of the drug as your child needs them. I am now starting to feel this way about meds!

Good point BH about the diabetes. I think you have to consider things change. I know my ds's challenging behaviour seems worse now because he is bigger and stronger than when i last thought about meds and dismissed the idea.

For me Soblue I am completly at the end of my tether with dd. I am so ashamed as I can't control her and she is only just 6

The thing is we went to sn gymnastics and even there she was playing up. We are getting more and more isolated as a family and I am just desperate and need something to help.

I do understand my ds is 5 and when he throws a tantrum in public it would be good if the ground opened up and I JUMPED IN . But iv had a lot of tough times and iv survived so guess will still go on doing just that. I usually avoid explaining to people and get on with it. When your dd is playing up have you tried taking her away from the situation to a quite corner to calm down and then she can return when she's calm. It doesn't realy matter if she misses a bit as she probably isn't taking it in at that point. I find this helps me and my ds to calm down and he then learns to self regulate if he wants to join in. Eventually....in theory anyway

Soblue - once dd "goes" you really cannot take her back into the situation. She will not calm down and I have to take her home!

Ds can be like that but if its something he really wants he can sometimes pull it together. As that was sn gym i guess that narrows it down for you but im sure they understand the kids aren't going to be perfectly behaved. I must admit im still at the stage that i just take him places where he can ramp on his own mainly.

You have my sympathies soblue. It's not easy at all

Bloss - just wanted to say that I know exactly where you are coming from regarding dd's behaviour. Also, that even 2 years ago when you were offered meds, new tablets are now on the market. If one doesn't work, another one will.

Ds started trialled Ritalin two years ago for a week and in that time, he was a different child! I could see the benefits after having HUGE problems with him in public (like the jumping in the hole SoBlue) and at home because of his physical strength at age 5!

Ritalin worked for him for over a year but because he was having problems in the afternoon, he trialled Ritalin SL (slow release, has another name). It just DIDN'T work for him at all, that was the week from hell, I can tell you!

Since Christmas last year, he has been on Strattera, and it seems to work ok for him, generally.

There are still problems at school, but overall I think these are mostly due to his teacher and the way she deals with him.

I'm sure (after all my prattling on) that there is a medication which will help your dd. But as Dobbin said, they are short acting tablets so there is no need to worry about long term effects.

I could have written THIS bit MYSELF Blossy....
the bit where you said...

"If I ever want any kind of relationship with dd and for dd to lead any kind of normal life unless the impulsive,hyperactiveness is dealt with I don't think it's going to happen"

THAT is EXACTLY how i feel about ALEX...and did about TOM when he was 5 or 6.

To admit you hate your child is an awful thing to do...but at times i feel just that...and i would do ANYTHING to STOP that feeling.

I am at the point with alex that i dread waking him up in the morning...he is so peaceful...looks so cute...dummy and all....and then i have to wake him....and i panic. I never feel ready to start HIS day....i look at him asleep and want to hug him and love him....but know as soon as he wakes i will feel the same irritation again.

BH....if your DD is like i think...i bet there are times when she is SOOOOOOOOOOOO icky-sticky sweet....and those are the times you feel guilty about the meds.... as at those times she is NOT impulsive....NOT hyper and NOT being inappropriate.....then something will 'trigger' the 'other' child to appear.....

Alex reminds me of the cartoons where you see a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

And finally don't forget BH...for MY own reasons...i NEVER tried longterm dietry changes...i took the 'fast-track' route to meds.....so whatever YOU do...you will at least not do what i do...which is wonder 'what if we'd tried dietry changes'...instead of 'jumping straight for meds'

That said.... because tom does so well with the long acting methyphenidate (which as chocs said for her son didn't work)...that for him .... it probably would have been meds in the end anyway... but like chocs said.... there are so many meds now...so it may be trial and error...or like tom she may do brilliantly on the first attempt.
Tom has been on the same drug now for nearly 5 years...doses gradually increasing.... but still woring fantastically.... so i suppose the only fear i have now...is what eventually happens if he reaches the maximum dose???? (second thoughts...i'll worry about that then NOT now!!!)

Do you know how I feel Mrs F. Imagine I am a jog and the amount of space let is the amount I can take. Well I am full to the brim.
It is even causing friction between dh and I.
Things just seem to be getting harder.
I just have an overwhelming guilt when I see other nt children her age. God I need meds to control my child, makes me feel like I could have done more. What I don't know, but it is how I feel.
I am now thinking I owe it to dd, ds and my dh and I to try it.
Just remember the smug woman at CAMHS when I turned meds down. "You'll be back she said". How right she was!!!!!

jug lol