Too High Functioning for special School, not managing in Mainstream.

[ConundrumsMum]

So tell me ladies where do these kids go?

Ds is HFA, full diagnosis statement.

He is not managing in MS, he hates it, he is aggressive and disruptive there, he runs away and goes on walkabout (or runabout) around the school. If he is thwarted he starts throwing stuff and going into meltdown, he doesn't do any work, he is just there for three hours a day (I flexi school and he is home in the afternoons) at home we rarely have issues.

The school and all involved do not know how to help him or move him forward, the latest suggestion is to consider moving school to another mainstream for a fresh start, to which I am .

On Monday we forgot his book bag, still havent found it and I suspect it was left at a friends house. The next day I bought a new one. Today I am questioned about the book bag in a way that suggests that they are wondering if we are providing a consistent home life for ds by being unable to account for the book bag for ONE DAY! Forget every single other day since he has been at school that he HAS had his bookbag.

Honestly I am at my wits end I dont know where to turn next, we are called in at least three times a week to help calm him down. IT IS NOT WORKING!!!!!

I dont even know what I am asking, just desperate really. I wish I could Home School him it seems to be the only option left. Our Ed Psych told me today that DS is a "conundrum" to her, no other ASD kids she has worked with have failed to settle in MS. I feel that I am being blamed, that they are trying to see a reason for his behaviours that I KNOW are due to his ASD and trying to imply that something is wrong with our home life.

I am worn out.

'No other ASD kids she has worked with have failed to settle in MS'. What??? She must be living in a very asd friendly universe (or another planet!). Even assuming she means kids with asd, normal-high IQ and no other impairment, that sounds highly unlikely.

If there's any way at all that you can afford it, perhaps you could get a private OT assessment? Otherwise perhaps call SOS!SEN or IPSEA and have a look at the special schools. With their high staff ratios, they might be better at modifying the academic side of the curriculum than mainstream are at modifying the social-communication side.

sorry I mean EP assessment, not OT.

I agree with maria, I wonder how much experience the EP has if she has never seen an ASD child struggling to settle into mainstream . I think it may be more of a case of 'I never recommend ASD children go anywhere other than mainstream because the LA doesn't let me'...

I agree that it is difficult to find a solution for academically able children with HFA who can't cope with ms. DS sounds similar to yours and he is now at an independent special school for AS which meets both his academic and special needs, but it wasn't easy to get a place and we had to go to tribunal.

Other options are a special school/mainstream split placement; a unit attached to a mainstream; home ed; flexible schooling; or in some cases, home tuition paid by LA. There are other choices apart from just mainstream or special school, although it is not always easy to get the LA/school to agree to them.

Sorry, just re-read your OP and you are already flexi-schooling. It sounds like his current school have no hope of meeting his needs if they are not coping with just three hours a day.

Have you looked at other mainstream schools, particularly any which have ASD units attached? The NAS website can tell you where these are. You can also look at neighbouring LAs if there aren't any in your own. Even if your DS can't get a place in the unit (they tend to be very oversubscribed), the mainstream teachers usually have much more knowledge and experience of ASD issues than schools without a unit.

does he have 1-1 support for these three hours a day?

if he does, you need to be getting the 1-1 some decent training, and arranging a meeting to sit down and go through what works and what doesn't - it should not be that difficult. they should have a safe space/ quiet zone that the 1-1 can take him when he is starting to get fidgety - the 1-1 should know him well enough to start to spot triggers/ notice when he needs some time out before he goes into meltdown etc.

if he doesn't have 1-1 support, there's your answer. start fighting.

blimey, never seen a child with asd not settle into ms? I guess her definition of 'settle' is not everyone's.

a probably very unhelpful post; a friend of mine has a son who has Asperger's syndrome - sailed through primary - lasted 3 weeks at ms secondary. They sent him to the local Steiner school and all has been well. I am not a Steiner fan myself btw.

Does he have 1-1 support? If not and he is being flexischooled it will be very unsettling for him.

Has he got a statement of SEN?