Is there any support for school refusers? Camhs arent very proactive :0(

[brandy77]

Am i just expected to teach my 6 year old at home when his anxiety hits and he refuses school? Spoke to Camhs today after school told me to ring them and I suggested they ring the school and explain more about mental health problems in children and that my sons anxiety is real and not a parenting "control" problem. She said she will ring next week!

Myself and school have supplied all evidence (thanks to advice on here) now for a statuatory assessment. I actually feel totally unsupported and im sure its quite normal amongst thousands of parents with children with special needs :0(

they were fairly crap with D2 so no advice i'm afaid.

ok Loglady, thanks for replying :0)

CAMHS also asked me to speak to my sons paediatrician when we go to London in December for our apt, are they suggesting that I get the paed to diagnose something? All his paed has said before is that many of his patients have learning/behavioural difficulties. sorry loglady, thats to anyone out there :0)

I have had the same for about 5 year now where no one wants to acknowledge my sons school refusal even though he has done about 3 afternoons since September. He's nearly 10.

oh wow devientenigma :0( thats terrible. My son has a lot of time off for hospital admissions/outpatients/illness and then time off when he refuses to go, hes only 6 and will get worse. I had to give up my long term job because of his hospital visits became too frequent and now i feel totally at a loss as to what to do

DD1's ed psych took responsibility for explaining anxiety to school and giving them strategies for helping reduce her anxiety. I would have thought this was exactly what they're paid to do but I know they're better in some areas than others. Might be worth getting in touch though.

sorry Brandy, have just reread my son is statemented and has a few dx's. I have read a lot over the years on school refusal even using some of it in our fight, to no avail. However we will get there and so will you.

ok thankyou devientenigma. thankyou Al1son, if my son is assessed (waiting for reply by mid december) i presume an ed psych would see him and perhaps explain to school then? so have i just got to hang in there till the assessment and hopefully a statement then? im dreading the morning incase it all kicks off again OR he may be fine and go in. problem is that he struggles so much and is sooooo bhind that his confidence has gone and looking at it from his point of view then i wouldnt want to go in either :0(

with us, we have not only had ed psycs involved, we have had, the behaviour team, OT's, EWO, clinical psycologist and now we are awaiting the psychatrist!!

all those people and 5 years down the line you are no further on :0( thats awful, poor you and your son. Il keep my fingers crossed that he goes in tomorow but i know if he struggles and something to do with work upsets him he will refuse the next day. Thankyou.xx

Brandy

You need to stop using the terminology 'school refuser'. That description plays right into their hands. they can then claim your child is exercising choice about whther or not he goes to school.

It may sound insignificant but you need to turn the tables and insist the reason he doesn't attend school is that support is insufficient / not suitable etc.

I know I bang on about this but it's really important - you don't want him labelled as 'a school refuser'.

Infact i hate that bloody term that could only have been dreant up by some LA to alleviate themselves from any blame in failing to provide a conducive placement.

Grrr

No advice, just sympathy as going through this with DS (9) who has not been in school properly since start of September, and not much either since earlier this year.

SS placement just refused in finalised statement apparently because the fact that he moved schools a year ago and 'refusal' escalated proves no point letting him go somewhere else ... preparing for appeal now. May pinch that phrase 'conducive placement' if you don't mind Sausage.

What is he like when he gets in Brandy? We have the issue of school saying he is fine when in, but as even he was able to tell us tonight 'I'm not fine that's why I can't go.'
Do agree it is can't not won't, and the longer it goes on the harder it will get (we warned 2 years ago this was an issue we thought might get worse and no one helped us)

I agree with SausageMonster about the terminology. Right from day one I told school that DD1 wanted to be in school and that they needed to make school possible for her. I also kept on their backs all the time to get things sorted so that I could never be accused of allowing her to refuse to attend.

I didn't wait for the ed psych to get involved through school. I found the number of their office and phoned them for advice. I also sent copies of letters to the EWO so that they didn't have any reason to come after me.

I know it can make you feel like a PITA but it's the children whose parents shout loudest and longest who get the appropriate provision. My skin grows ever thicker one year into the process of getting support for my two girls. I've learned to stop being nice and patient. It doesn't help.

following on from Al1son, I got the ed psyc and EWO involved. Behaviour team is involved anyway as are OT's (which is questionable). The behaviour team have involved the clinical psyc and the social worker has went through the school doc to get the psychiatrist. HTH (also laughable as it's not helping us)!!

Thankyou for your replies, sausage master, yes you are right, the only reason he doesnt want to go is because he gets so anxious prior to going because he knows he cant do the work.

I had him up at midnite last night crying about going and saying the work is too hard. Ive written a letter to the teacher stating this and that he needs small, achievable tasks to be set and plenty of praise as then he will want to go to school as he will see it as positive and not always negative. Wether this will happen i dont know. I cant wait for him to be assessed now. Teacher is sure he wont be turned down for an assessment.

andperseand, when he is in school his attention span is very bad, teacher says, and from what i can gather he doesnt have the screaming fits he has at home when something goes wrong, he just shuts off at school and refuses to continue. ive told them that his attention will be bad when he doesnt understand what its front of him and it doesnt help that he spends a lot of time traipsing back and forth to the loo because of his medical problem. He goes up to a dozen times in the school day. He just tells me he hates school, which is understandable.

I think il give the EWO a call actually as I had another letter about his attendance, even though they have medical letter to state his attendance will be affected by medical/emotional problems.

Thankyou.xx