Feeling bullied into finalising statement

[starfish71]

Feeling very low today. Am trying my best to get LEA to turn DS's proposed statement into a good statement but LEA have just rang telling me some amendments have been made - mostly just putting in recommendations that weren't included in the proposed that were in the advises from the professionals.

But, the very nice lady who always rings me. has told me to think carefully when the amended proposed statement comes out as that while I am trying to make it 'perfect' that my ds won't get the support in the statement as it is not finalised. I know this really as our school are useless and won't do anything they don't legally have to but I am really upset now thinking should I just finalise it and then ask for an emergency review if school don't deliver?

Feel I am letting my ds down. Not helped by the fact that although he is passive at school on the whole he is coming out of school like volcano, erupting with over excitement, grumpiness and just over reacting to everything.

When I mentioned this to his teacher this morn she said Oh I know he presents differently at home than he does at school. Like his autism only exists when he is with me!

Sorry but am so worn down. Any advice please?

Thank you

Hi Starfish, It's hard to keep going when nothing about getting a statement is ever straightforward. I'm not an expert - we are at a similar stage to you with a revised proposed statement which still isn't good enough to meet ds' needs - but I would advise trying to get it as good as possible now, especially if the school will only deliver what they are legally obliged to. Have you had any support/feedback from ipsea/sossen or local pwp with what should be in his statement? Also have you asked for a meeting with the lea to discuss what you think is wrong with his statement?

I wouldn't be pressurised into conceding to a statement that you're still unhappy about - once you do get it revised properly and agreed upon,it should only be a few weeks to get it finalised. The LEA should be the ones to feel under pressure to get the right result for your son not just you.

No - get it finalised (if they haven't changed it now, they're unlikely to without further action) and then the support is put in place and then you appeal it through SENDIST- they will probably back down then or else at some point in the process, unless you are looking for major changes.

We tried to get our ds's proposed statement revised, delaying the issue of the first final statement by five weeks. Got us nowhere (except stressed out about all the half-truths and contradictions) and was completely pointless.
Had to do forms for SENDIST/get expert witnesses/lawyer to get what we wanted.

Should add first final statement at least gave us the school we wanted. (Though start delayed five weeks while school wrangled over some of the more glaring failings of the final statement.)

Hi Starfish

The LA tried that we me too - conceding a few insubstantial changes but refusing to make the changes I wanted. I think we got to Amended Amneded Amended Proposed Statement...

Don't feel presurised. Keep a diary of your conversations with the LA - the implicit threat that they could drag this out and force you to cave in because support will be witheld until Final Statement is something you could cite at Tribunal.

If you do decide to ask for Fnal Statement to be issued make it clear to the LA in writing that you are doing so reluctantly with the sole purpose of enabling you to appeal to SENDIST - otherwise the LA will tell SENDIST that you asked for a Final Statement so were therefore content with it (they tried that with me).

Best wishes

Thank you for all your replies. I am just waiting to see the exact changes that they have made to the proposed statement then as i expect I will have to go to appeal.

God it is lonely work isn't it? Did speak to someone from the NAS education line yesterday who told me to try and get the statement as good as possible now as trying to get it amended later is very difficult.

Feel a bit stronger, got to see how meeting goes at school with the LEA, EP on Tuesday about actually how much support they are willing to give and what they are currently doing with my ds. Which is not alot apart from keeping him happy with his toys etc. Sorry bit bitter about how school have been. Can tell he is stressed even if school can't. He brings home little bits and pieces from school (dice, buttons, a toy screwdriver etc) only does this when struggling to cope in school.