Abused by another parent

[EvelynTent]

I was met outside school today by another parent who abused me because my ASD son has, apparently,been violent to her daughter. Has this happened to anyone else? I feel very frightened to go back to school now.

Hiya

Yes this has happened to me- once at school (a Dad screaming at me as I stood there immobile with dh, a 7 months bump and my more severe asd child). Also people knocking at teh door a few times to have a go.

Hugs, it's quite scary isn;t it?

What I did was to alert the school without making a formal complaint, then get a note to the Mum (less insane than her DH) saying we were sorry it happened (in fairness IF the alledged event happened- i think it did, school told us not) it was a horrid thing. And also saying that wehad been fighting for extra 1-1 for ds1 for a while and if they really wanted to change things they could write to the LEA and say what happened. They never did; people never do IME.

It took me nigh on a year before I could go into the schoolyard alone without shaking again. DH dealt with lorry drivers (many of whom had tempers they took out on DH as work gho between) for a living and yet was scared by this nasty twerp.

A few eyars on and ds1 is down to the final stages of a specialist ASD comp- fingers crossed, then no parents will walk past the house and know where we live

Thanks. Glad I'm not alone. I tried to keep calm but she was being so personally nasty I wasn't really thinking straight so not sure if I was apologetic enough. A teacher found me in tears and is going to tell the head so I'm worried they'll contact the other parent and make things worse. Think I'll call first thing and ask them not to.

TBH why? The head will almost certainly handle it well and stop it happening again

Have you asked school what they are doing to stop the violence happening again?

Yes. He has one to one supervision 15 hours a week but it's happening between lessons and going in/out of class etc. They are punishing him by making him write lines (which he hates).

I think some children are deliberately provoking him and others are getting caught in the crossfire which is obviously no excuse for him being violent. I fear it will end in him being excluded which is a shame as until this term he hasn't ever been violent. We're not sure what's causing it and he can't or won't tell us. I don't think it's aimed at any child in particular - this parent was at great pains to tell me loads of them are talking about it :(

I'd be (was and did) looking at increasing the hours then with a firm pledge that he gets 1-1 at all times of transition; a circle of friends scheme might work as well? helped ds

Thanks I'll talk to the school.

Good luck