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SN children

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Original poster

School...Grrrrrrrrrrr!!! (Asperger's)

28 replies

MrsForgetMeNotFul · 21/09/2005 21:38

leigh is 8 and has AS.... and have just transfered back to his original primary school.

Obviously his teacher has to get to know/understand him...so am trying to keep a lid on the emotional rollercoaster i am going through when he tells me what has happened at school each day.

In a nutshell..... he is struggling to get work done... he is classed as 'bright' so i feel we are talking 'distractions' rather than 'achademic' problems...however todays prob was to have to write a 'creative-imaginative' poem about pyramids...and fit it into the shape of a pyramid...that he had to draw.

1)creative/imaginative stuff is hard for AS kids

2)drawing his own pyramid... well he's not a graet drawer...so a pre-printed worksheet would be better....

3)Fitting his poem into the space governed by the size of the pyramid.... well...he struggles full stop with 'spacing' simply on a line ...let alone in a shape!!!

Teacher has told him to 'try harder' and that if he doesn't get it done by playtime tomorrow- he has to miss EVERY playtime (lunch play included) until he does it.

Added to which...turns out that EVERY DAY since returning on 5th sep- leigh has lost at least 1 playtime... teacher calls them detentions... in order that leigh finish class work.

issue going on here are whether it's fair to any child to give a dentention EVERY day.... and secondly....whether 'punishing' an AS child this way is fair????

OP posts:

jenk1 · 21/09/2005 21:42

i think its disgusting mrs f.

Does his teacher know anything about AS?
I bet you are really angry and rightly so i would be the same, he should not be being punished for not being able to do work that he cannot do due to AS and giving a child that age detention every day c,mon its not secondary school is it?

I know my DS wouldnt be able to do what your ds is expected feel really for you.

Original poster

MrsForgetMeNotFul · 21/09/2005 21:49

the problem is..i have been trying to 'take a step back' and allow leigh time to settle...and after the first week when it was clear he was not managing ...i hoped THEY would approach me.

now the teacher has told leigh that he will contact us if leigh continues to not do his work

i have told leigh that as long as he is doing his best...then i'm 100% behind him...and what i mean by that...but havenot told him....is that as far as i am concerned.... there are things HE CANNOT DO.... and like a child that cannot walk...I DO NOT DEMAND HE DOES THOSE THINGS.... however.... i am also aware that at times he gets very angry and stubborn etc...and then gets too anxious to do things he 'could' do if SUPPORTED.... so at those tiimes i will argue the toss that YES he CAN do whatever he was asked...but 'only if'...XYZ are put in place etc!

So...in a nutshell...i am on LEIGH's SIDE.... but NOT making excuses... but certainly not letting him be treated unfairly!

OP posts:

charleypops · 21/09/2005 21:59

Of course it's not fair - aspies can have a hard enough time socially as it is without having playtime interaction withdrawn. I'd definitely tell the teacher about it so she can begin approaching things a bit more thoughtfully with him - it can only help I'd've thought. At least people (teachers) are aware of AS these days - there was no help or understanding in the 70s/80s for my brother when he was a kid and now he's quite "severely" AS.

aloha · 21/09/2005 22:02

This teacher sounds either totally ignorant or totally evil. YOu have to get in there and tackle this. Talk to the head. on your behalf. Totally unacceptable. Also, do you have special needs co-ordinator and does your son have an LSA? This teacher needs to be educated about your son's disability. It's like asking a paraplegic child to shin up a bloody rope and then punishing him because he can't.

aloha · 21/09/2005 22:03

This is so clearly wrong I could cry.
You are very eloquent and clear about why this assignment is so hard for Leigh, you should write it all down and take it into school. I think you also need to say that this is simply unacceptable and that your child has a disability and this HAS to be taken into account.

charleypops · 21/09/2005 22:06

Does his teacher know he has as??

misdee · 21/09/2005 22:08

sorry i missed, but why has he gone back to the original school?

macwoozy · 21/09/2005 22:16

This is the sort of thing that worries the hell out of me. The school that my ds is in has bent over backwards to help him in all his difficulties, but what happens when he becomes a bit older and leaves his school?

Have they had no information on how to deal with an AS child to make the day easier for both the child and the teacher? How can they possibly take away his playtime for things that he finds so hard due to his AS. So wrong for any child.

Do you think that you will have to have a word pretty soon?

KarenThirl · 22/09/2005 05:54

School and parents have an obligation to work together in the interest of the child. If this teacher doesn't know or understand about Leigh's condition (and the evidence suggests she doesn't) then you'll have to explain it to her in words of one syllable. What does the SENCo say? How knowledgeable is she about AS and could she act as go-between to provide info to the class teacher? Or do you have an Autism Liaison Worker who can advise her? This teacher is obviously not catering to Leigh's needs but it may be ignorance on her part so she'll need educating, and I know just the woman to do it!

Good luck with it, Mrs F.

happymerryberries · 22/09/2005 07:18

All terachers should have a copy of a child's IEP and are expected to follow it....so if they go to senior school and have lots of teachers all of them are expected to understand a child's special needs and work towards their targets. They are also expeceted to 'know about' the child's special need....sadly never enough on a general basis. We are provided with guides to AS, ASD, ADHA tourettes etc which come with guidance notes. Sadly none of us get enough training.....I have got most of mine from MN and self driven reading on the topic.

But this is not an excuse the teacher should know about the SN

Original poster

MrsForgetMeNotFul · 22/09/2005 09:12

...but who should i approach 1st....

the teacher who i actually don't like.(that doesn't help matters much...but there you go)
or
the senco...who i met briefly 2 years ago (pre her being a senco...and she offered me books on Asperger's for my eldest son)
or
The Head....who i made very clear back in june leigh's difficulties.

I thought...rather than rushing in i should today collate together any relavent reports etc which i could pass to the school ....as a 'back door' way of opening discussions.

I think part of the problem is that leigh's teacher was also my eldest son's teacher...and he may be basing his experience of asperger's on how he remebers tom... which ofcourse noone should 'compare' a child...but you cannot help it. Howver Tom and Leigh are SOOOOOO different...

OP posts:

coppertop · 22/09/2005 09:28

MrsF

I really feel for you. I've been stressing about ds1 in his new class and it's really only very minor things. I can only imagine how you are feeling about something as important as this.

You could try talking to the teacher first just to give him a chance. It may well just be genuine ignorance on his part about how AS affects children differently. If no changes are made then the SENCO would be next on my list of people to see.

octavia · 22/09/2005 10:40

I had this problem with my sons new games teacher last week. She is teaching the boys football and said my ds wasn't trying and made him stay in for playtime and lunch playtime for the rest of the week. (or at least that was her intention) My son was really upset,told me and said he didn't mean to not try he just couldn't understand what she wanted. I went straight to his class teacher, who was appalled at this ( thank god ) and sorted it there and then. He now has his friend with him who shows him exactly what to do and he's happier. I also contacted the phycologist at the hospital, she did a lot of work with the school earlier this year and she is going into the school to "educate" (her words) this teacher.Iknow this doesn't help you, I just wanted you to know that your not alone and I understand the problems at school

Original poster

MrsForgetMeNotFul · 22/09/2005 22:18

THANKS ALL.... after about an hour of 'talking' through this with leigh...social stories etc....and helping him with ideas for his 'pyramid poem'...he went in today...completed his work...and had all playtimes!

This proves my case...he needs VERY specific 1:1 guidance with his work...like your son with pe...it's NOT a case of WON't DO IT (as the teac hers think)...but CANNOT DO IT (cos they are not 100% clear)

Leigh NEVER attempts ANYTHING until he is 100% certain he can do it...when he is forced to do things...and he fails.....he refuses to do anything. This is what I HAVE to 'educate' the teacher on!!!

Tomorrow, i am taking my eldest (also wth AS) to see the paed...and am going to tell her about the 'detentions'...i'm also going to see if she would pay a visit to the school- under the guise of seeing how he has settled???

OP posts:

macwoozy · 22/09/2005 22:41

Looks like you know exactly how to help leigh with his difficulties, if only you could convince the school to do that as well. I'd be really impressed if the paed did go along to the school. Good luck.

Blossomhill · 22/09/2005 22:48

Mrs F - why is it that as our children have hidden disabilites people aren't as sympathetic

I had dd's teacher telling me that dd's behaviour could be inappropriate and "had to stop". She also told dd she was a "very rude little girl" as she had her head down in assembley as she prob didn't know/understand what was going on. I spoke to the head of unit and she said she would have a word as children like dd really should not be picked up for every little thing they do wrong. It doesn't help, just makes things worse

Big sympathies and I think it would be a good idea if the paed went and observed .

aloha · 22/09/2005 22:54

Blossomhill

Speechless.

Blossomhill · 22/09/2005 22:57

Oh and she also said that dd was shouting out in class so she bellowed at dd. Then she looked at me and said "she hasn't done it since" "perhaps you should shout at her, be firmer". I said I don't like to shout (of course I do but very rarely) and if I have to shout I have lost control.

aloha · 22/09/2005 22:59

OMG.

Blossomhill · 22/09/2005 23:00

I know and dd is in a unit! She is in ms supported 80%.

Socci · 22/09/2005 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

macwoozy · 22/09/2005 23:05

Yeh, I get really worried about it too. Feel so sorry for you dd Blossomhill.

coppertop · 23/09/2005 21:23

That's awful, BH.

I hope the Paed appointment went well, MrsF.

Blossomhill · 23/09/2005 21:34

Am going to book an appointment to see head of unit.

It's so annoying as I was talking to the head of the school and she said that no matter how good a teacher comes out in an interview if they don't have good understanding of sn she doesn't want to know.

So I think I need to go in and have a chat.

coppertop · 23/09/2005 21:48

The head of the unit sounds pretty sensible. Hopefully she'll be able to sort the problems out for you and dd. Let us know how you get on.

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