Anyone elses DC worse with them than with their dad?

[smugtandemfeeder]

Just wondering again - if it is me or just a normal part of these things. DS is 2.6 and is being assessed for ADHD ASD Sensory disorders.

When we are all at home he seems so much more aggitated, stressed, angry, bossy, hyper than if I go out and he is on his own with his dad.

I had a baby three months ago but he has always been worse with me so cant believe it is just this.

I am also still breastfeeding him and people also blame this and say if I stopped he would be calmer.

I have no idea really. I could explain it by saying that his relationship with me is much more intense and emotional than with his dad, because of the reasons above.

But it doesnt explain the way he is. Please reassure me so I can have the confidence to tell people to begger off!

My ds1 is like this. When he was going through a very bad patch he was also much more aggressive with me. I remember mentioning it at an appointment with a psychiatrist and he seemed to think this was very common. I try not to let it bother me. ds is just generally much more keen on men than women. dp is also perhaps a bit more fun than I am though I hate to admit it!

Phew, I'm getting so many 'knowing' looks from everyone when they cotton on to the fact that DS freaks out around me more and calms when I disappear. It's created a nagging doubt in my mind. Even to the extent that I haven't mentioned the breastfeeding to the psych. I've had some bad experiences with doctors telling me I should have stopped by now and last thing I want to risk is the specialist telling me that's the root of our problems!!

I've heard that a lot of children with ADHD will save up their worst behaviour for when they feel most comfortable - ie, angelic at school then tasmanian devil as soon as they get home. It could be that your DS feels he can "let it all out" in front of you and he's secure that you'll still love him?

Even if it's not true, it smacks the smug bitches nay-sayers neatly in the chops

So stopping breastfeeding him will improve his behaviour

I seriously doubt there is any evidence to back that up.

DH and I just laughed outloud at your comment motherofsnortpigs thank you so much. Its one of the only things which bleedin well calms him down!

You're welcome :)

I don't think it's anything to do with his ADHD or ASD

both my kids (one with ASD one without) kept their niceness for their dad, lol, every parent I know moans about it, you have the day from hell with them and your OH comes in and gets an excited to see them happy child and has no idea what you're moaning about

rofl

toddlers definitely seem to keep all their worst behaviours for mum - as purplepidjin says, they feel most comfortable and know that they can react to things how they want and it won't matter...it's a sign of security more than anything, IMO

I think purple hit the nail on the head, DS2 is well behaved at school and much better with his dad than me. I've come to accept it really cos I've seen from other posts etc that it is quite common, but it annoys me when people think he's naughty with me because I can't discipline him (ie: it's all my fault!)

DS is 14 and has always been worse around me than his dad...and worse around women than men. I know other children like this. I have given up trying to fathom out why!

Breastfeeding responsible for autism is a new one on me

FWIW our paediatrician thought that extended breastfeeding & attached parenting had helped, not hindered DS with attachment & behavioural issues.