Need advice for tomorrow, DS1 punched in back

[Tiredmumno1]

Hi all,

bit of background, ds is 7 and has gdd, he has a one to one teacher for nearly max hours.

he was punched in the back today by a girl in his class. it was only about a month ago when she scratched him on the face.

the school gave me a courtesy call to let me know about half hour before i picked him up.

the teacher didn't say much, i asked her if she knew who did it. she just said yes, i dont really know what to do about this, i just wondered if you could advise me on how to handle it from here.

thanks for taking the time to read TM.

I don't know about GDD(cp is my thing) but if this had happend to my nt son and it wasn't the first time, I would be asking what the school were doing about said girl.
not sure if he is in MS or sn school but either way I would expect the school to deal with it and if MS punish girl, if sn deal with as they do iynwim.

Thanks 2shoes, it is a MS school, i just hope i dont get fobbed off as usual, they will probably say they have spoken to her mum and thats it

Not sure what to say but didn't want to leave you thinking there was no one here iyswim

What would you like advice on? Talking it through with DS? Or strategies for keeping him away from the girl?

I assume that the school would have either imposed a consequence on her for aggression, or started some strategies for her to control herself.

Is that any use at all whatsoever??

see I don't get the "talked to mum" thing
it happened in school the school should deal with it, fine to also tell mum, but the "punishment" (not sure what that is these days" or the dealing with it is down to the school
so don't let them fob you off with that,

Thanks purple, i think it would be impossible to get him to keep away from her as i think she has some behavioural problems, and we have suspicions that they use ds's one to one teacher to help this girl with her work, i feel this may have been going on for a couple of years, although they would never admit it obviously.

Well you can ask for an incident report and ask how the school intend to make sure this doesn't happen again in writing. ( always ask for things in writing).

It is a little heavy handed, but to be honest if this isn't the first incident with this child it might be worth making the school aware that you expect these things to be logged and have a paper trail.

I will tell you, this won't make you popular!

This is kind of the problem 2shoes i wouldnt know what punishment to push for, as they dont seem to like punishing for some reason.

i did feel like having words with her mum just in case the school say they have but dont, but that probably is not the best route

Just want to add, if the child does have some issues, it may help the school and parents as well if there is a paper trail.

We used incident logs from school to back our own issues up, as ds was being explosive both at home and at school ..and we were able to get extra help.

I agree with everything Arsenic said.

You need this incident logged and you need to create that paper trail.

I soent years going to and writing to school about sustained bullying of my DS. School would not admit there was a problem - until they were forced to.

Most effective was to write a letter to school naming the pupil who assaulted DS and asking school what they intended to do.

That started to create our paper trail. It also meant that, as we'd named the culprit, they had to deal with that culprit.

TBH you can spend hours just talking with school and getting nowhere. They just fob you off. They can't do that if you write.

And if it does eventually go totally pear-shaped (as it did for DS) you have the evidence on school's files to take the matter further - with LA etc if necessary.

Best wishes

might be worth having a friendly chat with the mum, that way you can see if you can help each other.
but I would still speak to the school,
tbh I would forget the fact that the girl might have issues, and ask where was the 1 - 1,
why did this happen?
what did the 1 -1 do
that way at sometime you might find out if they are sharing the 1 -1(hope that makes sense, i know ms and sn but not about one in the other )

SausageMonster's post is better, so ignore mine

Thanks arsenic, i will do that, i dont think i am to popular anyway, because they know i question everything, thats the only reason they phoned in advance so i didnt have to find out when i picked him up. i guess they thought it would make them look better for warning me.

his statement review was a few days ago, and we had asked that he was moved to a different table, as he was sharing with this particular girl and another girl who i also think has a few learning difficulties and has been for 2 years, and like i said we think it was so his one to one teacher could help them, but we could see he hadnt made any significant progress in that time, so i cant see how he is learning that much as he has no one to learn off iyswim

Thanks again for all of your replies, its much better to talk to others and get perspective

Sausagemonster.. We got help with explosive behaviour and it also created enough of a trail to stop the bullying that was causing the explosive behaviour.. Writing had a win win outcome.

I'm typing this as a both sides of the fence mum. :(

i do however normally call the school just to inform them that I'd like a log made and that obviously I'll be following up in writing for everyones files... In a friendly way.