Night time waking hell

[vixen1]

Hi all,

Wasn't really sure where to post this but I thought this was the best place because I think we might have to deal from it differently from an NT child.

Last week my DS (possible ASD) was quite poorly with a bug. He had a temperature and a nasty cold so when he woke crying in the night I would go into his room, give him medicine and stroke his hair.

Now he's better but he keeps waking up in the night asking for things. He'll shout from his room that he needs medicine or his nose wiping, or else he'll just shout Mummy.

If we leave him he descends into a meltdown and my God that child has stamina. If we go to him and see to his needs he just wakes up again in half an hour and does the same thing. If we go into his room and tell him to go back to sleep he will descend into a meltdown.

Last night he woke up at 1am. I was determined not to indulge his requests because I feel that it perpetuates the situation of him repeatedly waking so I left him.

He screamed and cried from 1am until 4.30am, fell back asleep and woke again at 6.15, now he's up.

My H and I had a blazing row because we can't agree on how to deal with it. This morning he left extra early for work because he couldn't take it any more and I've been in tears all morning.

We've tried a social story but it just doesn't work. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I wonder if a pictoral social story would work better but I have no idea what to draw.

I think we need better coping strategies during the night but I've no idea what to do.

Please help, I think our marriage is dramatically suffering as a consequence. We have other issues as well but I really feel that our DS's constant crying during the day as well as the night is just creating such a stressful atmosphere in our house that we've had enough.

Don't know what to do with myself today

Your own sleep deprivation doesn't help with stress and straight thinking. I have never been there as a long term situation, i hope someone comes along soon to offer advice.
If it's any consolation my NT DS has been up for the last few night with the same temperature and cold and has had to have a lot of asthma meds. It makes you feel wretched. You have my sympathies.

Thanks auntevil, my other DS (NT) has also been up in the night. We've just been to the doc and got a whole load of asthma meds and soluble steroids... poor little mite, last thing he needs is to be woken up by his brother at night time.

Hope your DS gets better soon... this bloody weather doesn't help x

It's a really vicious cold that's going around at the moment. If you can get a few moments to sit and relax do it. Even better if you can have a cat nap. Anything to re-charge.
I'm sure someone will be along soon with some tried and tested strategies.

When my DD (ASD) is poorly she often tries to build the changes and extra attention into her night time routine...yelling for milk/medicine/cuddles. It is very tough but we try to gradually phase things out with lots of repetition of correct behaviours...'When DD wakes up what must we do??..(then said together)...'go back to sleep!'. We cant just take milk etc away so it becomes a negotiation. We try to substitute unwanted behaviour with acceptable behaviour...so if DD will not go back to sleep we repeat the last few steps of her night time routine for settling rather than the new stuff we did when she was ill...so a short story, set her lights, position toys, say goodnight...go to sleep. It just reassures her to settle and after a week or so she stops waking as bed time settling is the same as middle of the night...nothing new to wake for...If that makes sense??? It takes a lot of calm reassurance and familiarity...we tried lots of other stuff too..DD used to go in the spare room with DH but she didnt go back to sleep at all.

HTH

We have a visual support too...little book of pictures, she really enjoys doing each step correctly. :)

Woolytree - Thanks for that, it sounds as though she reacts in a very similar way to my DS. Repeating the last steps of bedtime routine is a good idea I hadn't thought of - we can definitely try that tonight and give it a week to see if it works.

LeninGrad - I would definitely co-sleep but my DH is totally against it unfortunately. I see his poitn though: I'm such a clingy psycho-mum that I'd still have them co-sleeping when they're 18 !

yes we do the bed time routne again for younger DD2, for DD1 she just climbs inot our bed.

Let me know how you get on...sorry its not a quick fix i bet your shattered!...I know the feeling..we had the tummy bug last week so were just getting back to normal routines! :)

Just spoken to DH and feel a bit better. He's been looking on the internet and he's bought both our boys a second hand iPod touch from e-bay (our boys are only three!!)!!!

I have to say, our boys are by no means spoilt but I think this could be a really good idea. There are some fantastic apps for children with Autism with story boards you can make and timetables you can fill in.

This should really help with the social stories as we can take actual photos eg a photo of DS sleeping and one of us sleeping.

It'll be really interesting to see if it works. If all else fails at least they'll have the talking hamster app

Sounds great, my DD needs basic visuals right now or she gets too obsessive...like with her DS, she does the first bit of level 1 in UP over and over...wont let us progress any further..she prefers demos! lol. She can take her visuals to literaly too...only eat/play with what is in the picture, so we may have to make the pictures even more basic....just a plate and fork for the dinner picture!

I bet your boys will love the ipods, we may get one next year so let us know what good apps are out there. :)